


Red

by dickshapedclouds



Series: Red & Blue [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Matt Holt, Bisexual Shiro (Voltron), Break Up, Cuban Lance (Voltron), F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Human Allura (Voltron), Human Shay (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Internalized Homophobia, Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Kissing, Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, M/M, Minor Matt Holt/Shiro, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Online Dating, Online Friendship, Online Relationship, Online Romance, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Allura (Voltron), Past Relationship(s), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Polyamory, Recreational Drug Use, Relationship(s), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, Snakes, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, Trans Lance (Voltron), Trans Male Character, Transphobia, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 68,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dickshapedclouds/pseuds/dickshapedclouds
Summary: This was the body he was born with so why couldn't he just accept it? Why did he have to disappoint everyone with his feelings?An online dating fic that is a friends/rival to lovers trope.





	1. Chapter 1

Lance never felt right in his body. He was told from a young age that he had to wear dresses, had to play with dolls. He had to live up to life's standards for women.

He didn't want that though. He didn't want to wear a dress, he didn't want to play with dolls. He wanted to wear jeans and stomp in the mud. He wanted to play rough with the guys on the playground.

He was told it was a phase. He was just a tomboy. Told he had to do this and do that. Told that puberty would clear everything up. 

Well it didn't. 7th grade he got his period. Nearly fainted at the sight. His body began developing and by his freshman year he was a c cup and had a curvy body.

He hated it all. He hated his name, he hated his long hair, his voice. Everything about himself was wrong.

He was brought up in a Christian household. Told by his father what he was feeling was a sin. Told him to repent. Told him he was disgusting.

And he believed him. He began to pray every night. He prayed for forgiveness and prayed for these feelings to go away.

This was the body he was born with so why couldn't he just accept it? Why did he have to disappoint everyone with his feelings?

First it was sexuality. He had started to find women attractive as well as men. Not just aesthetically appealing, but sexually. 

Then he began questioning his gender. With no one to go to he began doing research. He'd stay up after lights out and search for hours about his feelings.

He found a lot. It made him feel normal to know that he's not the only one feeling like this. 

After a lot of looking, he found a name. Lance. It just popped out at him. He'd no longer be Lana Charlotte McClain in his mind.

He'd be Lance Charles McClain.

 

After that he started to try and make online friends, eventually finding 2. Pidge and Hunk. They were Juniors like him. Pidge was non-binary and it made Lance feel safe.

 

> _> >_ _Losers >>>_

 

**P:** you got any pets?

 

**H:** oooh good question pidge

 

**L:** yea i have a ball python. he's a big ol sweetheart.

 

**P:** show him!!

 

**H:** just don't show him eating i'll get queasy

 

**L:** awe its not that bad big guy. he's a little grumpy rn due to being fed recently, but i will when he gets happy again.

 

**P:** :((

 

**H:** i second that sad face

 

**L:** sorry :(

 

**P:** nah its fine  
do you mind if i add someone?  
his name is keith and he's a lonely emo.   
his brother wants me to help him make friends even though he knows none of mine are exactly near me.

 

**H:** sure!!

 

**L:** yea no prob 

 

**P:** cool  
shiro can be obnoxious  
he's like a dad  
except,,  
death jokes

 

**L:** that's great

 

_Pidge added Keith Kogane_

 

**K:** why am i here katie?

 

**P:** dude  
for the last fucking time its pidge

 

**K:** sorry.   
still getting used to that  
anyways why am i here?

 

**L:** well nice to meet you too

 

**P:** shiro asked me to help you make friends  
cmon introduce yourself

 

**H:** hey, welcome 

 

**K:** uhh well my name is keith  
conspiracy theories are really cool  
im not interesting at all  
so fuck you pidge

 

**P:** awe i love you too you fucking emo

 

**L:** so you believe in big foot..?

 

**K:** yes  
do you?

 

**L:** no   
i believe in real things bud

 

**K:** big foot is real  
fuck you

 

**P:** you can just say fuck you to everyone that doesn't believe in your husband

 

**K:** mothman is my husband.

 

**H:** i think its cool he believes in those things

 

**L:** you're too sweet :')  
ah fuck papi is coming to check if we're asleep  
gotta get offline for a bit

 

**P:** alright 

 

**H:** don't get caught

 

**K:**...

 

_Lance logged off_

 

_\---_

 

Lance hurriedly shoves his laptop and phone under one of his pillows. He lays down and pulls his blanket up to his chin. He closes his eyes just in time. 

His bedroom door creaks open and stays like that for a minute before creaking and shutting softly. He waits til he hears his fathers footsteps depart back to his own room.

Lance sighs and yawns. Now that he was comfortable he was actually really tired. He grabs one of his extra pillows and spoons it.

He yawns again and sits there for a while. He eventually falls asleep after tossing and turning for at least an hour. He'd have a lot of messages to reply to when he wakes up.


	2. Chapter 2

Lance wakes up early in the morning and checks his phone. Multiple messages from the group chat.

 

_> >>Losers>>>_

 

**P:** laaaance

**H:** maybe he fell asleep?

 **K:** oh well

 **P:** i wanted to bug him 

 **H:** you can do that tomorrow

 **K:** its like,,, 2am 

pidge doesn't sleep

**H:** well then you need to sleep. 

and pidge i don't care if you don't sleep.   
you need it

**K:** im not gonna sleep

or go to school  
bc fuck iverson

**P:** oh my god

keith  
you can't keep skipping class just because iverson fucked you over

**K:** im gonna stab his eye

 **H:** pidge

are you sure,,  
are you sure he's safe?

**P:** yeah man

why would i hang out with him if he wasn't?

**H:** oh

right

**K:** bye im gonna go uh

mothman awaits

**P:** he's gonna go clean his knives and worship his mothman shrine

 **K:**... 

i don't have a shrine  
it's just a couple pictures from the net

**H:** okay, well

im gonna get ready for school  
good riddance

**P:** smell ya later nerd

_\---_

 

Lance snorts and turns his phone back off, setting it to the side. He rubs at his eyes and gets out of the bed. He ventures to the bathroom connected to his room and strips down. His face drops when he sees himself in the mirror. Suddenly aware that he looks so feminine.

He chews on his bottom lip and pulls his underwear and bra back on. No shower until later. He ties his hair up into a bun and exits the bathroom. Yawning as he searches through his closet to find anything baggy. He grabs an old t-shirt that he stole from his older brother.

He slips it on as well as a pair of jeans. He puts a beanie over the bun and sits down to slip on his socks and shoes. Lance heads over to his snakes habitat and checks the temp and humidity. Humming as he checks the water bowl. It'd be good until he got back from school. 

 

"I'll see you later, Blue. You better be in a good mood." Lance jokes, laughing softly. He grabs his backpack and slips his laptop into it.

 

He slings one of straps over his shoulder and shoves his phone into his back pocket. He bounds down the stairs and smiles at his mom.

 

"Have a good day at school _Lana."_ she smiles. 

 

Lance flinches and smiles back.

 

"Thanks mamà, I'll see you later."

 

He races out of the house and down to the bus stop. His siblings already there.

 

"Man _Lana_ you sure are slow to get ready." his sister jokes.

 

"Haha yeah." 

 

"Stop giving _her_ shit." Luis flicks the back of Veronica's head.

 

Lance fiddles with the hem of his shirt. Don't cry. As soon as the bus stops, Lance rushes on and basically slams himself into a seat. School was basically hell.

Do this do that. Nice ass. Lana you look so pretty today. Bend over let me get a better look. 

 

So many things were nearly setting him off. He spots a familiar face. Nyma. They used to hang out before Lance kissed her. Nyma was his first female crush.

He cautiously heads towards her but stops when he sees Rolo press his lips to hers. It still hurt. To be rejected then thrown out like trash. He didn't blame her though. Rolo was a lot better looking. 

 

Lance sighs and sits at a table alone. Picking at the school lunch. You couldn't even call it food. It was really just goo. The cafeteria staff were nice though.

Especially Coran, he was really quirky and chipper. He and his niece had just moved to the area. His niece Allura still had yet to show up to the school. She always told her uncle that she was nervous to be around new people. Always said she wanted to go back to England.

 

When the last bell rings for the day, Lance rushes to the bus again and hops on. He slides into a seat and stares out the window until someone plops down next to him. He jumps and looks over to see Nyma. She looked kinda upset. Angry?

 

"I saw you try to come over to my table today." she huffs, flicking her hair from her face.

 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." he mutters.

 

Nyma simply scoffs and moves away from the seat. Heading to the back of the bus. Lance lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and chews on the inside of his cheek. Veronica sits next to him and smiles.

 

"What's up?"

 

"Ah nothing, just Nyma." Lance laughs.

 

"She givin' you trouble?" 

 

"No, its fine."

 

"If she does tell me. I don't want some whore pickin' on my baby sis."

 

Lance fake smiles for the umpteenth time that day. He fiddles with his thumbs and looks out the window. Watching the world pass by in a blur of color. When the bus stops at his stop he waits for Veronica to exit the seat before exiting himself. He races his siblings home. 

 

"You have a good day at school?" his mom asks 

 

"Yeah. Gotta go change Blue's water!" Lance smiles, running up the stairs. He opens his door and nearly slams it after he gets in. 

 

Lance kicks off his shoes and then throws them into his closet.

 

"Hi, Blue. You in a better mood?" he smiles, opening the cage. He grabs the water bowl and heads to the bathroom to wash it and fill it with more water. 

 

When he comes back and puts the bowl back in Blue slithers up his arm and wraps around it.

 

"You wanna call my friends with me? They've been dying to see you." Lance smiles, pulling his phone from his pocket.

 

_> >>Losers>>>_

 

**L:** you guys wanna call?   
blue wants to meet you

**P:** really?!

 **H:** yes pls

 **K:** who is blue?

 **P:** lances snake

 **L:** he's a beautiful ball python

 **H:** he isn't gonna eat anything is he?

 **L:** no silly

i already fed him

 

Lance sits his backpack down and pulls his laptop out. He puts it on the charger as well as his phone then sits down in front of it with Blue. When the call screen pops up he answers almost immediately.

 

_"Oh my god. He's cute, but not as cute as Bae Bae."_

 

"Blue is the cutest fuck you Pidge." Lance laughs 

 

_"Hey, language. My moms are gonna yell."_ Hunk huffs.

 

_"What in tarnation?"_ Keith pops up in Pidge's room.

 

_"Oh right, forgot. Keith is over."_ Pidge smiles.

 

"LANA DID YOU TAKE A SHIRT OF MINE?!" Luis yells from the hallway, footsteps approaching.

 

Pidge gives a sympathetic look as does Hunk. Lance frowns and stands up, walking over to the door. He opens it and looks out.

 

"Yeah sorry, I'll have mamà wash it then give it back."

 

"Just keep it." Luis sighs, heading back to his room.

 

Lance closes the door and chews on his bottom lip. Heading back to his bed where Blue is laying across his laptop.

 

"Sorry guys."

 

_"Don't apologize."_ Pidge smiles.

 

_"You don't need to say sorry, Lance."_ Hunk smiles.

 

_"Wait so is Lance trans?"_ Keith squints at Pidge's computer.

 

"Yeah. Is there a problem?" Lance sighs.

 

_"Not at all."_

 

_"Lance, do you wanna know how to do a makeshift binder? It's not very healthy but it can help with dysphoria. Take two sports bras and wear them."_

 

"Thanks Pidge. Hey I'm gonna get off and take a shower then go help my mom with dinner. See you guys later." Lance smiles, hanging up.

 

He takes Blue back to his terrarium and puts him up before heading to the bathroom as washing up. Dinner was a shit show. Veronica brought up Nyma which made his father mad. Which caused an argument. Which caused Lance to run to his room crying.

He didn't call the group back and he didn't check his messages. He simply crawled into bed and cried until he couldn't cry anymore. Eventually falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised I've been posting everyday.  
> Don't expect that.  
> Lol I've just had a lot of ideas for this which will run out soon.  
> Also I used Google translate and the little things I remembered from Spanish 1 last year.   
> So if anything is incorrect please tell me

Lance wakes up to his alarm and groans. He turns it off and clambers out of bed. He didn't want to go to school. Maybe he could lie?

No. His mom would see right through him. He whimpers and cradles his stomach.

"Shit." he hisses and looks at his sheets. Blood. Tears begin to weld up in his eyes.

"Lana, hurry up we'll be late!" Luis yells.

"Its not even nearly time to leave!" he yells back.

"We have 5 minutes to get to the bus you idiot."

Lance's eyes widen. His alarm just went off though. He grabs his phone and gawks in disbelief.

10 minutes had passed since he woke up and all he had managed to do was stand around. He hurries to grab clothes and rushes into the bathroom.

When he's finished dressing, using the bathroom, he grabs his backpack and shoves his feet into his shoes.

He grabs his phone and runs downstairs. Gasping when he gets to the last one. Pain shooting through his abdomen.

"Fuck!" he shouts, arms flying to cradle his stomach.

"Mija! Language!"

"Lo siento mamà, cramps." he mutters.

"Get to the bus, Veronica and Luis are already down there. Marco is coming to visit today so look presentable."

"Okay mamà." Lance mumbles, running out of the house and down the bus stop. He nearly misses the bus, but manages to get on.

Veronica drags him into her seat and slaps the back of his head.

"Stop being late!"

"It was the first time, jeez." he wheezes. All that running made it hard to breathe. He tried that two sports bra thing Pidge suggested.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Running got me out of breath is all." he smiles.

School was hell once again. Dress more like a girl. No one will want you if you look like a guy.

Gym was the worst. He had to wear the stupid grey shorts and impossibly too tight t-shirt. The guys outfit was baggy, why couldn't his be baggy?

The shorts would just distract the guys so why did the school make the girls wear it?

They had to run laps. Oh goodie. By his second lap he was sweating and heaving. This never happened when he wore a regular bra.

He was usually the first one done out of the girls. His knees buckle and he collapses in a pile on the floor. Breaths coming out in wheezes.

"McClain, you alright?" his teacher asks, racing over to help him up.

"Yeah. Just, having trouble breathing today. Sorry." Lance smiles, standing on shaky knees.

"You wanna sit out?"

"No, no its fine."

"Listen sweetie, if you're havin' trouble breathing you should sit out. Especially if 2 laps has you like that."

Lance reluctantly nods and heads to the bleachers. He grabs at his stomach and whines waiting for his teacher to say they can dress out. Waiting for the bell to ring to release them from school.

The bus was okay. Nothing different from the same old screaming and making. He simply looks out the window like he always does.

Green trees and grass blurring together, eyes trying to keep up with everything. He looks up to the clouds, blue sky and white looking beautiful. Sun burning his eyes.

He looks away and back at the trees. He doesn't notice that he dozed off until Nyma is shaking him. Why Nyma?

"Hey loser, you dozed off. Veronica and Luis left you here. C'mon." she huffs.

Lance groans and stands up, Nyma stares at his chest for a moment.

"Where'd your boobs go? Those are your best asset, Lana."

Lance rolls his eyes and waits for Nyma to move.

"Y'know if you never would've started liking me, we could still be friends."

"Can you just shut up about that? Its in the past. Plus shouldn't you be honored that even females find you attractive in that sense." Lance sighs, pushing past her on the sidewalk so he can get home and take off the makeshift binder cutting into his ribs.

"I mean, I am honored, but its kind of,, gross."

"Its not gross, Nyma. Try kissing a girl and tell me what you think." Lance huffs, walking faster.

He gets home and rushes up the stairs to his room. He slams his door and locks it, quickly stripping his shirt and the sports bras.

He takes a deep breath and sighs. He slips into a sweater and heads to the bathroom. Coming out a few minutes later. He hated this period shit. It was horrible and made him realize what he was born as.

He sits at his desk and does his homework, perking up when he hears his older brothers voice from downstairs

"¿Donde esta mi linda hermana?"

He slams his text book shut and hops up. Sure the sister thing hurt him, but his brother was finally home after 2 years of being gone. He unlocks his door and throws it open, running down the stairs.

"Marco!" He smiles.

"Lana! How are you? Where's Luis and Veronica?"

"In their rooms. I'm okay, how are you? How has college been? Meet any cute ladies?" He teases.

"I've been good. College is stressful and yes I'll have you know I have met some very beautiful women."

"You wanna come see Blue? He's gotten bigger since you left."

"Well I would hope he did. You feeding him good?"

"Of course! He'll be so happy to see you." Lance smiles, pulling his brother up the stairs.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?" Marco asks when they get into Lance's room.

"I'm fine, don't worry. C'mon, Blue's waiting~" Lance coos, rushing over to the terrarium. He opens it up and Marco pads over.

"Hey Blue. Lana here taking care of you?" Marco smiles, reaching out for the snake to slither up his arm.

Lance jumps when his phone chimes, he rushes over to his desk to see multiple notifications.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**P:** laaaance  
where the hell are you?

**H:** i hope he didn't die from a bus or something

**K:** im sure he's fine, hunk.  
maybe he's doing homework or something.

**P:** yeah that's something you should be doing keith  
i brought you a stack of work you've missed.

**K:** fuck the system

**H:** keith do your homework

**K:**...  
okay..

**P:** what  
so you won't do it when i tell you   
but you do it when hunk tells you?

**K:** what can i say  
hunk is a ray of sunshine and is 1000 times better than you

**P:** im gonna take all your fuckin knives  
just you wait

**K:** touch my children  
and i'll kill you with my bare fucking hands

\---

Lance snorts and shoots a quick reply

**L:** my brother is here  
i probably won't be able to talk

"What's so funny?" Marco chuckles.

"Ah, my friends being stupid."

"Speaking of friends. What happened with you and Nyma?"

"She's homophobic as fuck. And I got a crush on her so she shut me out." Lance shrugs.

"Is that why you seem upset? She been bugging you?"

"No that's not it."

"So you are upset."

"Wha- no!"

"Shush, you just said you are. Cmon talk to me."

Lance chews on the inside of his cheek and heads to the door. He shuts it and pads back to the bed, sitting down.

"Fine. You really wanna know what's wrong."

"Of course I do, you're upset. Don't want my favorite sibling sad."

"I'm trans. I'm trans and I can't come out because of papi." Lance huffs.

"Oh love." Marco whispers, pulling Lance into a hug.

"I just want to be normal! Why do I have to feel like this?!" Lance sobs.

"You are normal. Have you figured out a name? I don't wanna call you something you're not."

"Lance. Just don't call me it around mamà, Luis, Ronny, and papi."

"I know. Listen, Lance, you're gonna get through this. When and if you come out and papi doesn't accept you, you come to me. I'm going to give you money for a plane ticket. You keep it for when you need to come up."

"I-I can't take your money, Marco. You need it."

"No, I've got stable income, my girlfriend helps. We both have jobs and live in a house together. You come to us if you absolutely need to."

"O-okay." Lance sniffles, pulling away from the hug to wipe at his tears.

"And I'm giving you money for a binder."

"W-what? No, plane money is too much."

"Fine, then you get a job and you can pay me back. We're buying you a binder no matter what."

"Thank you!" Lance starts crying again, hugging Marco for the third time.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day, Lance and Marco order a binder. The package being under Marco's name so Lance doesn't get caught. Marco was planning to stay for at least a week.

Least to say, Lance was excited to get the binder. It was a lot healthier than the two sports bras. He called the group while Marco was still in the room and he said hi to everyone before he excused himself to go cook dinner with their mom.

 

"My brother ordered me a binder." Lance grins. He couldn't contain his excitement at all.

 

_"Holy shit! That's great Lance!"_ Pidge smiles.

 

_"Language!"_ Hunk hisses.

 

_"Dude just wear headphones, plus, we gotta be happy for our boy!"_ Pidge laughs.

 

_"Congrats, Lance."_ Keith gives a small smile.

 

"Thanks guys. Y'know Nyma said the worst thing to me."

 

_"What'd she say? You know I love gossip."_ Hunk smiles.

 

"Well it kinda flared up dysphoria. 'where'd your boobs go? They were your best asset'" Lance sighs.

 

_"Oh dear. I'm sorry, Lance."_ Pidge mutters.

 

_"Want me to stab her?"_ Keith laughs.

 

Rare. Keith laughing was rare. He should laugh and smile more. It was kinda cute when he did. 

 

"That's illegal." Lance laughs.

 

"What's illegal hermana?" Luis asks from the doorway.

 

Lance yelps and drops his phone onto his bed, laughter filling his ears.

 

"A lot of things, Luis. Murder, rape, stealing, jay walking, speeding, running red lights-"

 

"Okay, I get it. Mamà and Marco said come eat." 

 

"I'll be down in a minute."

 

_"Awe, bye Lance."_ Hunk frowns.

 

_"Call us later."_ Pidge smiles.

 

_"I may not answer,_ _Shiro_ _wants to take Matt and I out to dinner."_

 

_"He didn't think to invite me?! Oh I'm gonna kill_ _Shiro_ _and Matt."_

 

Lance laughs and ends the call. He sets his phone on the bed. New sheets. Guess his mom changed them.

 

He heads out of his room and downstairs. His father smelled of alcohol. Not as strongly as usual, but it'd be stronger later. 

 

He sighs and takes his seat at the table. Right between his father and Marco. Garlic knots, his favorite.

 

"Thank you mamà." Lance smiles.

 

"Oh, thank Marco. It was his idea to make your favorites." his mother smiles.

 

"Thanks Marco."

 

"Its nothing." Marco smiles.

 

Dinner was nice. It was quite peaceful, surprisingly. No arguments, no yelling. Marco made things 10 times better.

 

He was definitely the house favorite. He was going to law school, he had a job, a girlfriend, made their father and mother proud. He was better than Lance in all ways.

 

Lance had always looked up to Marco. Not only because he's the taller one, but because he was successful. And a much better role model than his father and mother.

 

He starts shovelling food into his mouth. Eating rather quickly. His father elbows him in the side.

 

"Slow down, ladies don't eat like that." 

 

Lance cradles his side and eats slower. Picking at his food. Marco shoots him a look of sympathy.

 

At the end of dinner he helps with dishes then retreats to his room. Laying on his bed, texting the group.

 

_> >>Losers>>>_

 

**L:** my brother made my favorite food

 

**K:** nice  
at least your brother can cook  
im so glad he took us out tonight

 

**P:** yeah   
you guys lEFT ME AT HOME

 

**H:** i cooked for my mom  
im not sure if they were lying to make me happy but they said it was good.

 

**L:** you're probably a really good cook hunk  
i'd love to try to one day 

 

**K:** pidge you wouldn't wanna be here anyways  
too much gay

 

**P:** you're gay??

 

**K:** stfu   
i'll punch you when i get back

 

**P:** tell your cryptid boyfriend to get me some pasta

 

**K:** smh  
fine

Lance frowns. So Keith is taken. Why is he upset about that? He could get any girl or guy he wanted if he'd try.

 

_>_ _> >_ _Lance to_ _Pidge_ _> >>_

 

**L:** so..  
keith is taken?

 

**P:** pfft  
no  
plus why does it matter?

 

**L:** no reason  
just curiosity

 

**P:** mhm  
well he's not taken  
its a joke with him and my brother  
Matt is dating Keith's brother Shiro as well as a girl named Allura

 

**L:** i know an Allura  
well  
not know her but her uncle works in the cafeteria of my school.  
she hasn't come to school yet

 

**P:** ah  
i gotta go  
homework calls

 

**L:** alright  
good luck

 

**P:** pfft i don't need luck

 

Later that night he got a text from Keith. He squints at it for a moment. Why was Keith pming him?

 

**K:** can you talk to me  
i need to have a distraction  
please

 

**L:** yeah what's up?

 

**K:** can we talk about anything other than that?

 

**L:** of course  
uh  
my brother Marco is back and he made me some garlic knots  
Veronica is jealous because I'm his favorite sibling.

 

**K:** do you have a big family?

 

**L:** sorta?  
i have my mamà, papi, Marco, Luis, Veronica, my abuela.   
im sure next time Marco comes home he'll have a baby or two haha

 

**K** **:** bigger than mine

 

**L:** wanna tell me about it?

 

**K:** i guess  
i have shiro and my mom but she isn't around much  
i guess Pidge and Matt count as family

 

**L:** that's cute  
im sorry about your mom though  
uhm, not to be nosy, but your dad?

 

**K:** pops died trying to save a kid from a fire  
his team told him not to go in but he's to stubborn

 

**L:** ah  
im sorry man

 

**K:** don't say sorry for something that isn't your fault

 

**L:** so do you wanna call?   
i can bring Blue out  
he always makes me happy

 

**K:** if you're okay with sniffling and trying not to sob

 

**L:** i just want you to be okay

 

**K:** that's sweet  
you barely know me

 

**L:** so?  
im sure you'd do the same thing

 

**K:** i guess

 

Lance hits the call button, plugging his headphones into his phone. He pops them in then awkwardly stands by his dresser to change his jeans to pajama pants.

 

He was already wearing a sweater so there was no need to change. He smiles when he notices Keith answered.

 

"Hey samurai."

 

_"Wha-"_

 

"It's a nickname calm down. So what do you wanna talk about?"

 

_"Tell me more about your family?"_

 

"Sure. Uhh. Well one time when we were younger, Marco wasn't watching us well enough and we were in our tree house. Luis decided he was gonna dangle from the window. It wasn't very well put together so the window kind of collapsed and Luis broke a leg and his right elbow."

 

_"Did he cry?"_

 

"Of course he did."

 

_"Pfft. Pussy."_

 

"Oh you'd cry if you fell out of a tree house."

 

_"Would not."_

 

"You probably would. Anyway, Marco saw Luis fall and he laughed for five minutes before he called 911 and my parents."

 

_"Marco sounds like a good guy."_

 

"He is. He supports me whole heartedly." Lance smiles.

 

_"You should smile more."_

 

"Oh I should be saying that to you, grumpy pants. I'm gonna get Blue out hold on." 

 

Lance hums, taking out his earbuds as he gets up from the bed. He gets Blue out and brings him over to his bed.

 

"Say hi to Keith~" Lance coos in a soft voice.

 

_"He really is adorable."_

 

"Yeah." 

 

_"What made you wanna get a snake?_ "

  
"Oh, Blue isn't really mine. He's Marco's, I'm watching him while he's away. Although Blue and I have gotten close. I loved him since Marco got him a few years ago. I'm actually the one who named him." Lance smiles, pressing a soft kiss to Blue's body.

_"Maybe you could get your own snake? Y'know when Blue goes."_

"Blue is around 3 or 4, he'll live for a while." Lance chuckles.

_"He gonna get any bigger?"_

"Male ball pythons only get up to 2 feet. That usually takes 3 years in captivity. He's surprisingly very healthy, I can't even take care of myself let alone this boy." Lance laughs.

Keith yawns and rubs at his eyes.

"You tired?"

_"No no, not at all."_

"Smart ass. If you're tired I can end the call."

_"Could- no it's stupid nevermind."_

"I'm the king of stupid. What's up?"

_"I don't sleep very well and uh for some reason you're making me really tired. Could you stay on call with me? Like just keep talking to me."_ Keith's face was flushed, bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

"Yeah, of course." Lance smiles. Keith was intoxicating. Lance wished he could look that good.

_"Thanks I owe you."_ Keith smiles.

"Damn right you do." Lance laughs.

_"Haha."_

"What's your favorite Disney princess?"

_"Uhh I guess Merida? Because she's brave and doesn't need her no man."_

"Moana is a good one too."

_"There's theories that Maui is her dad."_

"Yeah, I've seen them. Seems pretty realistic."

_"Don't blame her mom for fucking a demigod."_ Keith laughs, a lazy smile resting on his face.

Lance's door opens and Marco snorts upon seeing his brother with a goofy smile on his face and his cheeks flushed.

Lance screams when he notices Marco, nearly throwing Blue and his phone.

"Jeez hermano, its just me."

That made Lance grin. Hermano. Brother.

"Don't do that Marco!" Lance shouts.

_"What'd he do? Barge in? Shiro does that all the time."_

"Yeah." Lance smiles.

"I'll leave you alone, just came to say goodnight to Blue."

Lance rolls his eyes at Marco and returns his attention to Keith who is somehow asleep.

"Marco look look." Lance whispers.

"What?" Marco asks, walking over to Lance's bed.

"Look at him."

"He's cute." Marco laughs, leaning over Lance's shoulder, pressing a kiss to both Lance and Blue.

"Can you put Blue up for me?"

"Mhm."

After Marco puts Blue up, he leaves Lance's room and shuts the door. Lance yawns and gets comfortable, wrapped in his blanket. Eventually falling asleep to Keith talking softly in his sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beware angst  
> trigger warning: vomit, scratching, pulling at ones hair, slight depersonalization

Lance couldn't get out of bed the next morning. His body felt as if it were weighed down with 4 10 pound weights. He felt horrible and just wanted to curl up and cry.

Upon completely waking, he hears a yawn. Jumping up before he remembers that he was on call with Keith.

"Mornin'" Keith drawled, accent peaking out.

"M-morning. I'm gonna- I'm gonna hang up!" Lance squeaks out, immediately hitting the end button.

He crawls back under his blanket, bringing it over his head. He takes in a long shaky breath and lets it out. Shuddering as he tugs at his hair.

"Lance?" Marco whispers.

"Go away." Lance mutters.

"Breakfast is done."

"I said go away Marco."

"You okay?" Marco asks, shutting the door behind him as he pads towards Lance's bed.

"Don't wanna get out of bed."

"Well you gotta, mamà won't let you eat up here and you know it."

"Just get out." Lance sighs, holding in his tears.

"Fine, but if you're not down in 10 I'm eating your french toast."

"Oh well." Lance mumbles, shoving his face into his mattress. He waits to hear the door open and close again before letting a small sob out.

10 minutes later, he's out of bed and dressing into the baggiest clothes he could find. He staggers out of his room and downstairs.

"Look who finally decided to join us." Marco smiles.

Lance grunts in acknowledgment, grabbing a plate. He piles food onto it before taking his seat at the table. Picking at his food, sipping at his orange juice.

"Mija, your abuela is visiting for your birthday."

Lance nearly chokes on his food, coughing he croaks out a "what"

"You heard me." his mom laughs.

"When?"

"She'll be arriving on the 25th."

The family lets out collective groans.

"Oh she's not that bad."

Lance nearly chokes again.

\---

After breakfast he heads back upstairs. Checking the group chat.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**P:** we should add Shiro and Matt

 **K:** n o

 **H:** who?

 **K:** my brother and Pidge's brother

 **P:** too late

_Pidge added Takashi Shirogane_  
_Pidge added Matt Holt_

**M:** what the fuck is this

**S:** language

**K:** i fucking hate you pidge

**L:** uhh  
hi

**P:** LANCE

**H:** LANCE YOU'RE NOT DEAD

**K:** of course he isn't dead  
i was on the phone with him this morning

**P:** you what

**K:** i called him last night  
and i guess we both fell asleep?

**M:** oh my god

**S:** that's gay

**K:** you're gay

**H:** everyone is a bit gay

**P:** not me  
fuck people

**H:** shut up

**L:** gasp  
hunk

**H:** oh my god

**S:** im just  
im gonna leave

_Takashi Shirogane left the chat_

**M:** thank fuck

**P:** he  
he's your boyfriend???

**M:** doesn't mean i can't hate hisjfjjsjajjabxb

**L:** rip Pidge's brother

**H:** good

**K:** jesus

**L:** my abuela is coming in 3 days  
please save me

**P:** oh god

**H:** oh  
my  
god

**K:** your what

**L:** grandmother

**K:** ah  
what's so bad about her?

**L:** what's so bad?  
wHAT'S SO BAD?

**M:** im also gonna leave   
this is for kids  
bye Katie be safe <3

_Matt Holt left the chat_

**K:** yeah what's so bad

 **L:** she's the biggest homophobe and transphobe i know  
she's a bitch  
and i hope she chokes

 **K:** thats  
that's your grandma you're talking about

 **L:** i know  
that's the fucking point  
im gonna get off  
blues house needs to he cleaned

\---

Lance huffs and takes Blue out, letting him curl around the back of his neck.

"Marco, I need you to watch Blue while I clean out his cage." Lance says as he walks down the stairs

"Okay." Marco mutters, meeting Lance halfway, taking the python from his younger brother.

Lance heads back upstairs, that heavy feeling returning. It felt like there were two weighted balls chained to his ankles. Staggering under the non-existent weight shackled to his ankles.

He shuffles his feet on the floor, closing the door after he gets into his room. He felt exhausted, he shuffles to his bathroom to grab the cleaning supplies.

He stares at himself in the mirror and chokes at the sight. This wasn't his body. He clutches at the counter, gasping. Lungs begging for the air that wouldn't reach them. His knees buckle from the sudden weight on his body.

He sits on the bathroom floor, panting and crying. Clawing at his arms, why did he have to look like that? His fingers tugging at the long locks of brunette hair.

Bile rushes up from his stomach, burning its way through his throat. He's barely able to crawl over to the toilet to heave the vomit out. Weight crushing his body, lungs pleading and screaming for more air.

Panting as his vision spots, more bile rises. It spills into the toilet bowl as he clutches the ceramic. Fingers turning white from the grip. When he feels he's done he collapses in a pile on the tiled floor.

Sobbing and panting. Why was he cursed with these things? So much weight crushing his ribs. He lets out a plead for help that comes out as a blood curdling scream.

Before his vision goes black he spots a blurry figure rushing into the bathroom.

\---

He wakes up to hushed and worried whispers. Eyes cracking open but immediately shutting when a bright light blinds him. He groans and rubs at his eyes, opening them again.

He felt fake. Like everything was a movie or a video game. His hands looked like they didn't belong to him.

"Lana!" his mother sobs, pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

He wheezes and sits there, stiff. Oh. That's who he was.

"Why am I here?" he croaks. It felt like he hadn't used his voice in years.

"You passed out and it worried us." his mom whispers, peppering his head in kisses.

He groans and pushes her off, sitting up too quickly. Groaning again when his vision spots.

"Lay down, mija."

"I'm fine." Lance grumbles.

"You clearly aren't!"

"I'm fine mamà!" Lance raises his voice. He speaks back up.

"Have them take this damn IV off I'm perfectly fine."

\---

He's released from the hospital soon after and he immediately rushes back to his room. Blue's cage cleaned, bathroom clean of blood and vomit.

He stares down at the bandages on his arms and his face scrunches up. Nose burning at the smell of disinfectant. The room was cleaned recently.

He pads to his bed, grabbing his phone. Lots of unread messages.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** look  
im sorry for pissing you off or something  
i have a habit of doing that  
you should just respect your family  
and not hope they choke   
i understand if you don't want to accept my shitty apology  
but really i am sorry

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**P:** you okay?  
you left suddenly and haven't been online in hours  
text me when you can  
i hope Keith didn't upset you  
if he did then ill kick his ads

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**H:** hey buddy  
you okay?  
im here if you wanna talk  
i know your abuela is a sensitive topic  
just know im always here for you to talk to  
i love you bro

\---

Lance sighs, replying to each of them.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** its fine  
she's just a touchy subject  
you don't need to apologize

 **K:** you okay?  
you kinda went mia for a little  
offline for like,,,  
3 hours  
that's a long time to clean that cage

 **L:** haha  
uh yeah im fine don't worry your little head

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**L:** hey  
im okay  
keith apologized so its all good

 **P:** too late  
i already kicked his ass

 **L:** you didn't need to  
but thanks

 **P:** anything for my pal

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**L:** im fine bud  
i love you too

 **H:** thank god  
i thought i was gonna have to murder that kid  
glad you're okay

\---

With that Lance ignores his phone for an hour. Trying to catch up on his homework. That is until he hears the ringing of Skype from his phone and computer. Eyes flitting away from the textbook to his laptop.

He clicks the answer button. Fake smiling, his eyebags are a dead give away though. His skin just a touch paler than usual.

 _"You look like shit."_ Keith laughs teasingly.

 _"I gotta agree with Keith."_ Hunk mutters, yawning slightly.

_"Yeah man, what happened?"_

"I-I passed out?" Lance mutters, resting his head in his palm. Eyes widening when he remembers the bandages. His arms immediately shooting down to his lap.

 _"Lance call me."_ Keith mutters, leaving the call.

Lance chews on his lip, leaving the call as well. Calling Keith alone, his legs bounce and his fingers tap into his thighs.

_"What the hell are those bandages for?"_

"Nothing. I didn't cut myself or anything."

 _"They aren't for nothing! What the hell happened!"_ Keith shouts.

Lance shrinks at his volume, chewing on his lip. His bedroom door swings open.

"Who's that Lana?" his sister asks, padding to his desk.

"NOBODY! GET OUT VERONICA!" Lance yells, getting up from his desk quickly. Chair scraping against the wood floor, his knees buckle, vision spotting again.

"Lana!" she shrieks, diving to catch him.

"I'm fine. Get the hell out." he rasps, regaining his balance.

Veronica chews on the inside of her cheek before rushing out of the room. Slamming the door behind her.

Lance sighs, sitting back down.

"Sorry." Lance mutters.

_"Tell me what happened."_

"I had a panic attack or something. I don't fucking know okay? I woke up this morning feeling like I had weights on me. Then I took Blue to Marco and came back upstairs to clean his house. When I went into the bathroom to get the bleach and what not, I saw,, myself? In the mirror and immediately didn't recognise my reflection. Then the weighted feeling came back and I collapsed, vomited, clawed at my arms, and tried ripping my hair out before passing out." Lance manages to spit out.

_"Oh. I'm sorry dude."_

"Wow thanks."

 _"Sorry I just-"_ Keith growls in frustration before speaking up again. _"I don't know how to deal with feelings."_

"Its fine." Lance yawns, rubbing at his eyes.

Keith seems to flinch at the bandages, his face paling. He holds back bile. Remembering the times he had bandages like that up his arms.

"You okay?"

_"Yeah. Yeah fine."_

"If you're not, you can talk to me. Won't be of much help since I'm exhausted, but I'll try."

_"Its fine Lance"_

Hearing his name roll of Keith's tongue made Lance shudder. Keith had a nice voice, a nice smile, nice laugh. Keith was just good looking and sounding in general.

Lance envied it. He wished he could look good like that and not be so feminine. He didn't even allow himself to take care of his face anymore. Didn't paint his nails either.

It was the feminine thing to do. He hated that. He knew logically that men do those things too but he never let himself do those anymore.

_"Lance."_

"Huh?"

_"You stared off for a moment."_ Keith chuckles.

"Ah, sorry. Um I'm getting really tired."

_"Go to sleep then."_ Keith smiles.

"I will in a bit. I gotta finish this paper."

_"Want me to stay up with you?"_

"Only if you want to." Lance mumbles, opening his textbook back up and picking his pencil up again.

_"I'd love to. Plus I owe ya."_

"Haha yeah." Lance smiles, turning his attention to his paper.

Lance was focused as all hell. His bottom lip tugged between his teeth, pencil tapping at his cheek when he'd think.

Fingers drumming on his desk, leg bouncing. He'd mumble to himself when he'd write his answers. Tongue occasionally running over his lips. Lips parting to take a breath and sigh.

Keith was focused on Lance's face. A slight flush to his own cheeks. Lance was ethereal in Keith's eyes. Who cares if he was feminine, he was a kick ass guy that Keith knows looks good no matter what.

Keith honestly didn't care about biological gender. Lance was a guy through and through in his opinion.

Keith smiles when he notices Lance had fallen asleep on his book. Lips parted, hair shaping around his face. Face relaxed, peaceful, no wrinkled lines on his forehead.

He decides to go to sleep himself, listening to the soft snores tumbling from Lance's lips. Sure Lance was obnoxious, but he was pretty cute when he was quiet.   
  


 

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

The house was hectic. Lance actually had to dress nice. His mom and Veronica had actually picked out the outfit.

So he wakes up to find a blue dress hanging on his door. His face drops and he immediately grabs for his phone.

_> >>Lance>>>_

**L:** my mamà and sister are fucking satan  
im actually gonna shoot myself

 **K:** woah  
don't do that

 **L:** better than wearing this fucking dress  
_img_ _.attached_

 **P:** bro  
you fuckin kiddin me???

 **L:** im tempted to just yell fuck it and wear flannel and jeans

 **H:** don't make yourself uncomfy by putting the dress on

 **K:** yeah man  
wear that flannel proudly

 **L:** its hot tho  
and knowing abuela she'll wanna grill out  
/sigh/

 **P:** wear shorts and a nice t-shirt

 **H:** just tell your mom you don't feel comfy with the dress and that its ugly bc it is ugly

 **L:** thanks guys  
i gotta go  
ttyl

 **K:** good luck  
sneak away and talk to me if you need to

 **L:** will do

 

Lance threw the dress into his closet and went through his clothes. Pulling out a decent t-shirt he slips it on.

"Lana you up?!" his mother bangs on his door.

"Yea." he mutters, searching for jeans, not finding any that weren't ripped completely, he pads over to his dresser.

Shorts it is. He grabs a pair of black jean shorts and slips them on before searching for socks.

After he's ready he heads into the bathroom and frowns at the sight. He pulls his hair into a bun and turns on the tap.

He splashes water on his face before grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste.

After that he heads downstairs. He yawns and stands at the bottom of the stairs.

"Where's the dress mija?"

Lance's face scrunches up.

"Go put the dress on." his father sighs.

"No."

"Lana, don't argue. Go put the dress on."

"Mamà-"

"Hey give it a rest, she..doesn't want to wear it." Marco sighs, patting Lance on the shoulder as he comes down the stairs.

 

Lance sort of ignored everyone the whole day. I mean yeah that's his grandma and everything but she was a literal cunt. She always had something to point out about Lance.

"You've got crooked teeth, Camilla, get this girl some braces."

Lance gapes at his grandma, wanting to speak up. He shut his mouth and turns away, pulling his phone from his pocket.

"Lana, you won't get a boyfriend with your legs having more hair than theirs." his grandmother sighs.

Lance smiles slightly before returning his attention to his phone.

"Mija, get off your phone." his mother hisses.

Lance resists the urge to groan and roll his eyes.

"Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." Lance fake smiles before shoving his phone into his pocket and rushing to his bathroom.

He shuts the door and sinks down it. Sighing, he finally had some source of peace.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** she's driving me insane  
'camilla get her some braces. Lana shave your legs or you won't get a boyfriend. Lana take your pretty hair down. Lana don't you wanna wear a dress for me?'

 **P:** assassinate her

 **K:** pidge  
as lovely as that would be  
that's his grandmother

 **H:** kill her with kindness  
act as sweet as possible then stab her in the back

 **P:**...

 **K:**...

 **L:**...  
*hand clap*  
okay   
lesson learned.   
don't mess with hunk

 **H:** :)

 **K:** chaotic good

 **P:** chaotic lawful

 **L:** Keith is chaotic evil

 **K:** yeah  
you got me there

 **L:** shit gotta go  
they'll think i fell in the toilet  
or passed out again  
¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Dinner was hell. Mosquitos biting at his ankles and legs. He groans and slaps his leg for the umpteenth time.

"I'm going inside. Blue needs to he fed." Lance sighs, taking his food inside from the table. He throws it away.

His dad could never grill. It was nasty. He pads to the freezer and takes out a rattie, waiting for it to thaw before bringing it upstairs.

He lines the shower with the towels he uses when he feeds Blue. Setting the thawed rattie down before heading back into his bedroom to grab Blue.

He sets him in the shower and watches him slide along the towels. Searching for the rattie, tongue flitting out. When Blue strikes Lance smiles.

"Good boy Blue."

Waiting for Blue to finish up, he pulls out his phone and sends a picture of the tail hanging from his mouth.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**H:** LANCE   
WHY.

 **L:** he has to eat

 **H:** you didn't have to send it!!!

 **L:** oh well

 **K:** he's a good boy

 **L:** very good boy

 **P:** _img.attached_  
Bae Bae is better

 **K:** he's cute  
but not as cute as Blue  
plus  
Bae Bae is mean to me so fuck him

 **P:** only because you look threatening he's trying to protect Matt because he's a helpless tiny soul

 **K:** only tiny soul i see is you  
gremlin  
tiny dog  
chihhusjdjjrjsjshf

 **L:** we witnessed a murder hunk

 **H:** delete the messages

 **L:**...

 **K:** im nOT ESKJJFJS  
AKJRJSJSHHWNDBEH  
he's dead

 **P:** that's what he gets  
for calling me those horrible names

**H:** _img.attached_

**L:**..  
now isn't the time for those wide eye monkey thing memes

 **H:** its always the time lance

 **K:** THEY TOOK MY FUCKING KNIVES  
ALL BUT ONE AND THAT ONE  
WAS IN MY SHOE HAHA TINY GREMLIN BITCJSHRUEUSUSUUKDNNDNS

 **P:** im assuming shiro got him

 **K:** Katie.  
Go to sleep.

 **P:** yup  
shiro

 **L:** pfft  
poor Keith

 **K:** all my knives are gone  
im gonna cry

 **P:** good.

 **H:**...

 **L:** gotta put Blue up brb

 

He carefully carries Blue back to his house and closes it up. Cleaning the bathroom up, throwing the towels in a bucket. He'd wash them tomorrow.

He sighs and pulls his phone back out.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** did you ever finish that paper?

 **L:** yeah  
thanks for letting me fall asleep you heathen

 **K:** no problem loser

 **L:** so   
you need something?

 **K:** wow  
i can't just wanna text a good friend

 **L:** no

 **K:** yea   
you're right  
wanna watch a movie on rabbit?

 **L:** sure let me get my computer.

 

They spend the rest of the night watching each others favorite movies. Sending stupid texts and memes back and forth.

Lance had the biggest smile on his face when he fell asleep. His arms wrapped around an extra pillow. His blankets tight around him. His phone was clutched tight in his hand. He could get used to this.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna wait til Lance's birthday to post this and the next chapter but I'm impatient and just have so many ideas to push out and the drafts were building up on wattpad so I was like "just post it you dweeb" so here we are.  
> !!!Also should I make an Instagram and a Twitter so you guys can interact with me? Maybe even a Tumblr? Just so I can have most social medias so any one that doesn't have one or the other can message me with tips or even just wanting to be my friend? Id post updates of the fic to the Instagram as well as my wattpad. They'll all have the same usernames hopefully. But does this sound like a good idea??

 

Lance wakes up early on his birthday to his phone chiming loudly. He groans and turns over, shoving his face into his pillow. Upon the sound not stopping he throws his pillow and sits up.

 

 

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** i wanted to be the first person to tell you happy birthday even though we haven't known each other long im really glad kat- pidge, god i don't think ill ever get used to that anyways im glad they introduced me to you im surprised i could even slightly open up to you so far you're an amazing person and you have so much unspoken potential you'll be great one day

 **L:** holy shit

thank you

 

this is the sweetest thing ever

  
Lance actually tears up, sniffling, a big smile on his face as a couple tears rolls down his face. Keith was actually really nice under his persona of stabbing.

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**H:** i better be the first fucking person to text you  
oh god

 

happy birthday lance, its been almost 2 years? since we met and im so glad we did if we never would've bonded over zoo pals and shit on omegle then where would i be??  
you're such a nice person and you put everyone before yourself  
you make me laugh and you compliment my food even if you can't taste it

youre my best friend and i never wanna lose you lance

 **L:** hHDHDHHSDH HUNK.  
YOU CURSED  
BAD  
BUT THANK YOU ILYSM BB

 _> >>_ _Pidge_ _> >>_

 **P:** don't think i don't see you making keith happy  
you better keep doin it  
oh btw  
⠀      ⠀(\\____/)  
           (•(ㅅ)•)      happy birthday   
　＿ノ ヽ ノ＼＿i love you     
'/　'/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ　ヽ  don't die ever  
( 　(三ヽ人　 /　　 |  
|　ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ　 ノ  
ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／  
　　 ｜( 王 ﾉ〈  
　　 /ﾐ'ー―彡\  
　　/  ╰    ╯   \

 **L:** pidge  
that is the single most horrifying and most sweet thing you've ever sent  
thank you  
i'll cherish it forever

 

Lance cried easily so that's what had him on his bed sobbing over his friends being so nice. He didn't understand what he did to deserve them.

He sits there a few more minutes just reading over them, making himself cry more. He finally sets down his phone and gets out bed.  Maybe he'd survive this day.

He searches through his clothes, grabbing a pair of blue jeans and his blue and white baseball tee that Marco had given him. He grabs underwear and sadly a bra, his binder still hadn't come in.

Lance yawns and heads to his bathroom. Stripping from his pajamas, he starts the shower, letting the water warm up as he hums softly.

He spends about an hour in there, just letting the hot water scorch his skin. To let the bathroom air fill with thick steam. He sits under the stream of water with his eyes closed.

When he's finished washing up he turns off the water and grabs his towel. He wraps it around himself and steps out of the tub.  
He wipes his hand against the mirror, staring at the long brunette hair cascading down his back. The wet locks sticking to his skin.

Maybe Marco would cut his hair for him? Or he could do it himself. He imagines it, short hair, flat chest, broader shoulders. He wished he was happy and looked good.

He wished he could be comfortable in his own body. He wished he could be happy with his voice. But things didn't always work out.

He lets out a shaky breath and dries off. This was not going to ruin his day. This was not going to ruin the happiness he felt right when he woke up.

"Not today." he mutters, staring himself down in the mirror. It made bile rush to his throat, swallowing it down he grimaces.

Lance huffs, slipping into his clothes. He throws the dirty ones into his clothes hamper and exits the bathroom. His eye catches something on his bed, intrigued, he heads over to it.

_'Marco McClain'_

His eyes widen. Was this what he thought it was? He grabs it, squeezing the package in his hand. He chews on his bottom lip and sits down.

Lance grabs his phone, taking a picture and sending it to the group chat.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**K:** what's that?

 **L:** i think it's my binder

 **P:** oPEN IT YOU LOSER

 **H:** lAAANCE OPEN IT

 **K:** yeah dude  
open it

 **L:** okay okay jeez  
im opening it

Lance sets his phone down and tears open the package. A white half top binder falls out along with a small white note. He picks the note and binder up.

 **Don't force it if your binder fit over your shoulders or feels too tight.** You should try your binder on when you're clean and completely dry. Pull it over your head like a tank top. If its uncomfortable, pack it up for an exchange.

 **You can exercise and swim in your binder.** Just be sure to go up a size, and do not put your binder on while wet.

 **Take a break from binding. Do not sleep in your binder. Listen to your body.** We recommend binding no more than 8-10 hours each day. Try to take a breather during the day, and at least 2 days off each week. Stretch regularly and practice good posture.

 **If you experience any pain or discomfort, or have trouble breathing take your binder off!** *NEVER BIND WITH ELASTIC BANDAGES, TAPE, ETC.

"Simple enough." Lance mumbles. He heads into the bathroom and blow dries his hair. He pads back into his room, shucking off his shirt and reaching back to take off his bra.

"Lance?" Marco whispers, knocking on the door.

"Ah hold on!" Lance squeaks, grabbing the binder he frantically tries to shove it on, getting stuck in the process.

"Marco,, I'm stuck." Lance mutters, turning so his chest isn't showing.

A laugh sounds from the other side.

"Alright hold on."

The door creaks open and Lance shuffles, his hands above his head stuck in the binder.

"You look so fucking stupid." Marco snorts, helping Lance into the binder.

"Wow thanks hermano." Lance laughs, turning around when its on. He takes a deep breath and smiles

"You're welcome." Marco hugs Lance.

"Now let me get dressed."

Marco rolls his eyes and pulls away from the hug.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Ice cream."

"You typical rat."

"Better have some ready for me." Lance smiles, slipping his shirt back on.

"I will. Don't let mamà know."

"She'll kill both of us."

Marco laughs and exits the room, heading downstairs to ready Lance's ice cream.

Lance grabs his phone and takes a picture, a big smile on his face. He sends it to the group chat and heads downstairs

_> >>Losers>>>_

**P:** YOU LOOK SO GOOD

 **H:** FUCKING AMAZING BIRTHDAY BOY GOD DAMN

 **K:**...  
looks good

 **L:** thanks <3  
im getting ice cream for breakfast fuck y'all

 **K:** that's not healthy

 **P:** shh fun sucker  
let him live

 **H:** let him hecking live

 **L:** yeah keef  
let me live

 **K:** jeez  
okay  
you can live and eat ice cream  
just eat a proper lunch and dinner you fucking nerd

 **P:** gasp  
aggressive caring  
does keith  
like Lance????

 **H:** gasp  
oh my god  
Keith.

 **K:** i DONT LIKE LANCE SHUT UP

 **L:** hurt  
im big stronk boi  
why dont you like me

 **K:** i like you  
but not in the way that Pidge was suggesting

 **L:** oh  
okay

 **P:** go eat your ice cream bday boy

 

Lance snorts and sits at the counter.

"One bowl of ice cream you loser." Marco laughs, sliding the bowl of ice cream to Lance.

Lance fucking devours that shit. Making jokes and laughing with Marco.

"Man Veronica is gonna be pissed when she realizes she's got a third brother." Marco laughs.

"She always has, none of us knew until recently." Lance smiles.

Marco smiles back, ruffling Lance's hair.

"Hey Marco?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you cut my hair?"

"Course." Marco gives a small lopsided smile.

Is that where Lance had gotten that from? Lance smiles back.

"I'll clean my bowl. Cut my hair later?"

"Yeah."

His birthday was nice. His mom had baked a cake, it was decent. He wished there was dulce de leche ice cream to go with the cake.

"Gracias mamà."

"De nada mija."

Marco had made garlic knots as well as Empanadas and Pastelitos. Lance had no idea where Marco learned how to cook like that but it certainly wasn't from this house.

His abuela was bitching at everything like usual. Pointing out Lance's chest. Pointing out every little thing. In return Lance simply smiled, eye twitching.

He wanted to scream at her. Tell her to shut up and tell it to someone who cared. Tell her to keep her disgusting opinions to herself, but he smiled. Smiled and smiled until the night was over.

Everyone gave him a card and a bit of money. Besides Marco who gave him a large green bomber jacket. It had been Marco's years ago but it has gotten to small.

Lance sobbed and tackled Marco into a hug. Rambling in broken Spanish and English.

By 7pm everyone had retreated to their rooms. A knock on his door had Lance sitting up. He had taken off his binder as soon as he had gotten to his room.

Eyeing it on the floor in the open he grabbed it and slid it under his bed.

"Come in."

The door opens, Marco standing their with a pair of scissors and a set of clippers in his hands.

"Ready to cut that ugly mop of your head?" Marco smiles.

Lance nods, rushing to his bathroom. He didn't want hair on his carpeted bedroom floor. Tile was much easier to get hair off of anyways.

It takes about an hour to get Lance's hair to the perfect length. He grins when he looks in the mirror. Tears streaming down his face. Lance was a bit of a crybaby.

He sobs and covers his face. He was so unbelievably happy.

"Shit it's ugly isn't it? Do you hate it?"

"I love it!" Lance sobs, hugging Marco. Marco could feel the air being squeezed out of him. Ribs crushing under Lance's hold.

"Okay Lance, I can't- pfft I can't breathe." Marco manages.

"Sorry!" Lance laughs, pulling away, yawning.

"Get some sleep baby bro." Marco smiles, ruffling the short brunette hair.

"Will do. Right after I send a picture to my friends."

"Alright well I'm heading to bed. Night hermano. I've got a flight tomorrow."

"Night." Lance smiles, walking Marco to the door. After he's out Lance plops onto his bed and takes a picture of his hair.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** _img_ _.attached_  
_img_ _.attached_  
_img_ _.attached_

 **P:** AAAAAAAAAAA

 **H:** hi it's 3 am I have to be up in 3 hours  
so if you don't want to die  
be quiet  
also cute hair bb

 **L:** ty hunk  
also turn the notifs off bc im gonna spam

 **H:** ugh  
okay

 **K:** i stop important research  
and i get a faceful of a little twink  
fuck y'all

 **L:** gAsP  
i am not a twink!  
im a twunk, a twink and a hunk  
a TWUNK!!

 **P:** n o

 **L:** oh ye bby

 **K:** what  
the  
fuck

 **L:** v,,  
vine

 **P:** he's stupid  
keith doesn't know what vines are

 **L:** keith  
emergency rabbit session tomorrow  
my brother is leaving and so is my abuela so we'll have lots of time to watch all the vines i can compile

 **K:** suddenly my laptop has my knife in it

 **P:** you mean your malaria blade

 **K:** both you and Shiro call it that  
im telling Kolivan you keep calling it that

 **P:** so scary  
your giant uncle that looks like an alien

 **K:** he's a fucking cryptid and ill prove it you bitch

 **L:** anywho gn you stinky whores

 **P:** gn big bitch

 **K:** night lance

And he fucking conks out. Dead ass just knocked the fuck out, face shoved into his pillows and limbs spread everywhere.  



	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I USE GOOGLE TRANSLATE DON'T COME FOR MY ASS PLEASE  
> Honestly I should post translations but I'm way too fucking lazy-  
> Sorry >w<

Lance woke up to his alarm. School, right. He yawns, laying in bed for a little bit before getting up. He strips from his night clothes, throwing them in his dirty clothes.

He grabs his binder from under his bed and slips it on. Yawning as he heads to the bathroom. He smiles upon seeing his short hair and nearly completely flat chest.

Taking a piss and washing his hands. He blinks at his reflection, watching his movements. Everything he did was almost robotic. Life was weird.

You do the same things everyday until you die. Wake up, stare at the ceiling, use the bathroom, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, go to work or school, come home, eat, sleep. Repeat.

Life was really weird. Anything you say or do can alter your future. You take one wrong move and it can kill your first born child and give you a completely different one.

Lance shakes the thoughts from his head and ruffles his curly hair. He heads back to his room, slipping into jeans, a shirt, and the jacket Marco gave him.

Sure, it was hot, but the jacket was nice. It tied the whole outfit together. He puts his things in his backpack and shoves it phone into his pocket.

Upon getting downstairs he hears collective gasps.

"Mija! What'd you do to your hair?! It looks like a boys!" his mother gasps.

"I cut it?"

"Yes, but why!?"

"Because I don't want long hair. Now can I go? I'll miss the bus." Lance sighs.

 

School was a mix of compliments and insults. Nyma and her crew being the ones to insult Lance.  
He just sighed and ignored. Doing his work and waiting to go home to watch vine with Keith on rabbit.

That'd be the highlight of his day. Sadly he wouldn't be able to hear Keith's laugh because well, echo.  
Wait,, sadly?

Lance chews on the inside of his cheek. This whole thinking about Keith was weird. They had just met so why did he occupy Lance's mind so much?

 

After school sucked too. He got lectured for an hour. He also had to clean nearly the whole house.

A few hours later he collapses on his bed. Eyes flitting shut, a yawn escaping his lips. Vines. He had to watch vines.

He blindly feels for his phone and shoots Keith's a lazily typed text.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** dude  
vines  
now

 **K:** dude  
chill  
okay

 **L:** cool

 

He got together a bunch of videos and started the stream on rabbit. Keith joining shortly after.

After the first one his phone buzzed.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** i,,  
i don't get it.

 **L:** wha  
keith tell me you're joking

 **K:** i don't get it

 **L:**...  
...  
....  
you're fucking joshing me  
right?

 **K:** joshing you,,?

 **L:** oh my god  
you're hopeless  
do you just wanna call?  
it'll really help after today

 **K:** sure

 

Lance waits for Keith's call and immediately answers it. Upon breathing in and feeling tightness he curses.

"Shit. I've gotta take off my binder. I guess chores made me forget." Lance hisses, slipping away from the camera. He might as well change into sweats too.

 _"So what was so bad about today?"_ Keith's voice sounds from the laptops speakers. Dry and dead.

"Uh just insulted and yelled at y'know?" Lance mumbles, focusing on not getting stuck. He folds his binder up and slips it into a box in his closet.

Two knocks before the bedroom door flies open. Lance shrieks and covers himself.

_"Lance?"_

Lance freezes. Keith's an idiot.

His mom stares him down, then looks to the computer.

"¡¿Estás desvistiéndote de chicos en internet?!" his mother shrieks.

"No! ¡Mamá! ¡Salí!" Lance shouts, face burning bright.

"Entonces, ¿qué está pasando, Lana?"

"¡No había tenido la oportunidad de cambiarme a un pijama! ¡Keith ni siquiera puede verme cambiando mamà!" Lance shouts, face bright red.

"¿Quién es Keith? ¿Conseguiste novio? ¿Cuándo lo llevarás a casa?"

"¡El no es mi novio! ¡Sólo un amigo!"

His mom sighs and shakes her head. Chewing on the inside of her cheek before she exists the room. Lance lets out a breath of relief. At least she closed the door after leaving.

He quickly dresses and heads back to his bed. Keith looked awkward, playing with his fingers, chewing on his lip.

"Ah, lo siento. I'm sorry." Lance mumbles

 _"Its fine, Lance."_ Keith smiles.

"Did uh, did you understand anything we said?"

 _"Nope. Not a lick."_ Keith drawls.

"Damn you're country as fuck." Lance laughs.

 _"Yup."_ Keith smiles.

"So how has your day been?"

 _"It was good. I saw Shiro trip up and down the stairs. As well as Matt getting pushed by_ _Pidge_ _."_

Lance snorts and smiles.

"Man that would've been great to see."

 _"_ _Mhm_ _. So do I get to know what you and your mom were talkin' 'bout? I heard my name in there somewhere."_ Keith smiles lazily.

How did he make that look so good? Lance chews on the inside of his cheek.

"She asked if I was undressing for boys on the internet. I told her no and that I hadn't gotten a chance to change and said that you couldn't see me."

_"And? There was a lot more of that rapid fire Spanish spitting from your mouth."_

"S-she asked if you were my boyfriend and when I was gonna bring you home."

_"Ooh, what'd you tell her?"_

"I told her we're only friends. And then she left."

 _"Man I wonder what her reaction would've been if you told her I was your boyfriend."_ Keith chuckles. The sound low and reverberating through his chest.

It made Lance's heart pound.

"She would've shoved her face in the camera and complimented and insulted you. Especially that ugly mullet. She'd tell you to shave it off." Lance grins.

_"It's not a mullet."_

"Oh sure, and I'm not trans."

_"But you are?"_

"Its a lie. You're lying about your hair so I lied about something too."

_"Its not a fucking mullet."_

"Awe Keef."

_"Keef?"_

"Yep. I deem you Keef. Now, I have to deal with a huge stuck up bitch tomorrow that looks slightly like an alien, but that's not the point. The point is, I'm very tired and in need of a shower."

_"Will you call me after your shower?"_

"Don't go getting attached now Keith."

 _"Pfft."_ Keith splutters, face flushing.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow. As well as Hunk and Pidge. I gotta clean Blue's habitat again so I need company."

_"Don't pass out again."_

"Oh haha. Bye Keith."

_"Bye Lance."_

With that Lance hangs up and heads to the bathroom. Preparing a shower. He undresses and avoids looking at his body as much as possible.

It just didn't feel right. Felt like he was in someone else's body and he was washing them. That would be weird. Like a body switch with your friend or something. Like you're washing another persons body but its your own.

Lance grimaces at his hips. At his chest. At his thighs. Everything looked wrong. Maybe he should work out more? That would help his body look more masculine.

He stands under the stream of steaming hot water. Water pouring down his head and down his body. Relishing the feeling of the numbing heat.

This body didn't belong to him and he wanted out. He didn't care how, he just wanted out. He always wondered if his real body was just hiding under all his skin.

Would scratching everything away help him? Just pick at the layers of skin. Pull himself apart piece by piece? Leave it all for the vultures.

He wished he could find a way to be himself. He wished he could be accepted by everyone. But people are petty and believe that if you're different you deserve to burn.

Maybe burning wouldn't be so bad? Maybe it'd be like this shower. Numbing. Peaceful, but stuffy. He breathes in the thick air.

Eyes closing as he lets the water run down his face. They open, magnificent blue piercing through the water. Tears mingling into the hot water. Washing away his sobs and sniffles.

He'd be okay one day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but one day. He'd eventually look right. Sound right.

Life would get better for him, he just had to be patient. And so he waits.


	9. Chapter 9

Lance woke up in the middle of the night after he felt like he was drowning. Gasping and coughing, he sits up. Not able to calm down he blindly grabs for his phone.

Calling the first person his finger lands on. It rings a few times, Lance was full on sobbing and heaving.

 _"Lance?"_ Keith's voice sounds from the speaker, groggy. Upon hearing the panicked breathing Keith curses.

_"Shit. Lance, hey. Listen to me, quit breathin' like that you'll black out. Take a deep breath in through your mouth and let it fill your chest and belly. Can you do that for me?"_

Lance nods even though Keith isn't able to see him. He breathes in deep, still slightly feeling as if the water is licking at his neck, creeping up to enter his lungs.

_"Hold it til I tell you to let it out."_

Lance does. It feels like an eternity when Keith tells him to breathe out, but really it was only a few seconds.

_"Breathe out. Repeat, c'mon lets get your breathing under control, yeah? Then you can tell me what happened, yeah?"_

"Y-yeah." Lance's voice was scratchy and broken. Like he had swallowed a whole box of razor blades. Like he had been screaming nonstop for hours.

_"Okay, breathe in."_

Lance does. Sitting there, rocking and breathing. His fingers trembling as he holds the phone.

_"Hold."_

Holds it. Holding it carefully like an egg. Careful to not let it out, not to let it drop.

It felt like his intestines were knotted up. Felt like his heart was in his throat. Tears drying so thickly he thought he was crying blood.

_"Out. Just a few more times."_

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Each time the water creeped down. Eventually stopping at his toes before draining away completely.

_"Wanna tell me what happened now?"_

"Mhm.."

_"Mkay, c'mon."_

"I-I don't get it. In life I already feel like I'm drowning, but that dream. It woke me up and I could feel the water. I could feel it all around me, barely off my nose. It was cold too." Lance mumbles, still shaking slightly.

_"Its not real. I know how real it felt, but dreams cannot hurt you. Unless it's some Freddy Kruger shit, then you're dead."_

Lance laughs a bit at that. How did Keith manage to make him feel so much better? Make him smile in the worst of times?

_"You still there?"_

"Mhm, sorry."

 _"Its fine."_ Keith yawns.

"Why don't you go ahead and sleep?"

_"Wanna make sure you're okay."_

That shouldn't make his heart speed up and make his face flush.

"I'm okay, Keith. I'll be fine."

 _"M staying up, shut it."_ Keith grumbles, clearly drifting to sleep.

"Sleep, Keith."

 _"No gotta- gotta make sure you're okay."_ Keith mumbles, yawning again.

"I just told you I'm okay, go to sleep."

_"Fine, but if I wake up to you calling me again or something I'm gonna stab you."_

"Mhm, okay. Night Keith."

_"Night, starlight."_

Lance bites his lip and huffs. Should he hang up? Would it be weird to stay on the line? Its not like they haven't before. Just hang up.

His finger hovers over the end call button, but he pulls it away. He lays back down and gets comfortable. Just listening to the soft breathing coming from Keith.

It felt like he was right there, curled up underneath Lance's blanket. Lance's eyes widen, realizing that this is similar to what he felt with Nyma.

"Shit." he whispers.

Going back to sleep didn't work well. He simply stared at the ceiling until his alarm went off. Jumping and yelping he quickly turns it off.

He chews on the inside of his cheek and ends the call. He yawns and clambers out of bed. He really didn't want to go to school at all. But his mom would kill him if he didn't.

He needed a break from his binder that day. So he reluctantly slips into a bra. He pulls on a blue shirt and the jacket Marco gave him.

He grabs a random pair of jeans and slips into them. Heading to the bathroom he stares at his sleep deprived figure. Face morphing into something he had never seen.

He continues to stare at it. It looked normal if he stared at it enough. Better than what he looked at on a daily basis. Blinking, it disappears.

Robotic movement. Brush teeth, wash hands, brush hair. Staring at his reflection the whole time. Each blink brought on a new morph of his face. Each more terrifying than the last.

Yet they all looked better than what he saw daily. He trudges into his room, stomping his feet into his shoes. Grabs his phone and backpack.

Shuffles down the hall and down the stairs.

"Lana, you okay?" his mom asks, standing in the kitchen.

"Didn't sleep much." he mumbles, blinking, eyes blank of much emotion.

"Do you wanna stay home?"

"No, got tests today. I'll be fine." he mutters, trudging out the door and to the bus stop.

He passed out on the bus, Veronica waking him up.

"C'mon hermana." she mumbles.

Lance slips out of his seat, trudging off the bus and into the school. His phone buzzes in his pocket. Ignore.

He knocked out in first period. Face smoothed into his text book, saliva leaking from his mouth. Someone kicks the back of his chair. He shoots up, a sound of startle slipping from his lips.

Snickers from Nyma and Rolo.

Lance wipes his mouth and turns his attention to the board. Words mixing together, voices intermingling. He blinks and squints, words blurring further.

His head slams onto his desk, pages of the book cushioning the blow. Hands dangling at his sides.

He wakes up in the nurses office.

"Wha-" his nose scrunches at the smell of disinfectant. Horrible smell. He clambers out of the cot, legs wobbling underneath him.

It felt like there was an anvil on his head, he exits the room. Lights blinding him. He blinks, staring blankly at the nurse.

"Lana?"

"What am I- what am I doing here?" he stumbles over his words. Damn his head hurts.

"You passed out in class, we're waiting for your mom to come get you."

"Oh." Lance mumbles.

The nurse smiles and gestures towards a seat in front of her desk.

"Can you tell me why you passed out? Lack of sleep? Lack of eating?"

"Sleep. Didn't sleep well." Lance takes the seat.

"Why's that?"

"Keith. He kept me up. Him and his stupid mullet." Lance grumbles.

"Who's Keith?"

"Online friend. I think I like him."

"Do you wanna go lay back down until your mother gets here?"

"Mamà is gonna kill me." Lance laughs softly, standing up.

"Why?"

"Didn't sleep well, told her I'd be okay. Look at me now, second time passing out in 2 weeks or something like that." Lance mumbles, heading back to the room. He lays in the cot, staring at the white wall.

He pulls his phone out to see texts from Hunk.

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**H:** keith told me about your dream  
you okay?

 **L:** mhm  
im going home early

 **H:** you sick?

 **L:** no  
i didn't sleep last night  
hunk  
i think i like keith,,  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't mean to update so much its just that I've been in a writing mood  
> Especially for this book.

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**H:** YOU WHAT?!??!?!?

 **L:** i think i like keith

 **H:** whAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT??

 **L:** well  
he occupies my thoughts a lot  
he's cute even with that mop of hair  
he's got a really nice voice that makes my heart rate skyrocket  
it feels like butterflies are swimming in my stomach  
he can calm me down and make me feel better no matter what

 **H:** aWE  
BB  
YOURE PINING

 **L:** hhhh  
it sucks  
do you  
do you think he likes me?

 **H:** idk  
but i can ask pidge

 **L:** no,,  
then they'll know  
and harass me

 **H:** ugh  
ill ask anyways  
you better call when you get home  
both pidge and keith stayed home

 **L:** why?

 **H:** pidge didn't wanna deal with anything (bad cramps)  
and keith is still avoiding his teacher

 **L:** oh  
im home  
im gonna take a nap  
bye hunk

 **H:** bye  
make sure you eat when you wake up.

 

Keith hated Lance, it was official. His stupid blue eyes, his stupid flawless skin. Keith was definitely allergic to Lance.

What he felt when he talked to Lance was what he feels when he has dairy. Stomach knotting up. Keith despised Lance and that was the end of it.

"Keith, when are you coming back to the Garrison?" Pidge muttered, sitting on a beanbag in their room.

"I'm not. Shiro wants me to, but its not happening."

"Y'know, what they did was justified. You came back for a day and punched Iverson in the eye multiple times."

"He deserved it!" Keith shrieks.

"He asked how your break was!"

"He was testing my patience, Pidge."

Pidge sighs and shakes their head.

"Whatever, Keith. So, how do you feel about Lance?"

"I hate him."

"What? Why?"

"He makes my stomach feel like when I have dairy."

"He makes you have to shit?" Pidge laughs.

"No, like the knotted up intestine feeling. Except it's more fluttery?"

"Pfft oh my god."

"What? Pidge, this is serious! I could be allergic to him!"

"Keith, you can't be allergic to a person."

"You totally can."

"No, Keith. Hold on, Hunk's texting." Pidge mutters, tapping away at their phone.

"Lance is stupid and I hate him."

"You sure it's hate?"

"What else could it be?" Keith mutters, head hanging off the edge of Pidge's bed. The blood rushing to his head.

"Man, I dunno, maybe it's unadulterated loathing."

"No, why would I loathe him?"

"Sarcasm, Keith. Maybe its a crush?"

"No it's not the same as what I feel for Mothman."

"Okay, Keith, can we forget about mothman for a minute?"

"No, of course not. Mothman is lovely." Keith sighs, staring at Pidge. His hair brushing the green carpet, face turning red from the amount of blood rushing to it.

"Tell me your exact thoughts on Lance."

"He's stupid. He's got really blue eyes, like uh like blue koolaid. He's got really flawless skin and I hate him for it, it just looks so soft. I wanna pet it. His hair. Its fluffy and curly, I wanna run my stupid fingers through it. He's got a nice laugh but it's so loud and obnoxious. He's obnoxious and stupid."

Pidge laughs.

"Okay."

Keith wasn't the best with describing things, unless it was a persons voice. Lance had a nice one and that was rare. Sure it was loud, but it was nice.

It'd sound even better when he would go on testosterone. Deepen up and mellow out. Wouldn't be so high and girly. Although Lance's voice was deep for a girl.

It was nice. Sometimes soft and light. A voice he only used for Blue. It was smooth like a river going down stream. Sweet like syrup and honey.

For a minute Keith wondered if Lance tasted like syrup and honey. Maybe even vanilla? Or cherry, cherry was a good flavor.

Red, was a good color too. A soft reddish pink like the tongue that ran over Lance's lips. That looked good. That blue in Lance's eyes was good too.

He wondered if Lance smelled like rain and salt water. Maybe he went swimming a lot? Probably not. Probably was difficult with dysphoria.

Keith was snapped out of his thoughts when he fell off the bed.   
Too much blood had rushed to his head. He blinks and stares up at Pidge.

"You thinking too hard there?"

"Huh?"

"You had a constipated look on your face. Like you were thinking too hard. What about?"

"You think Lance smells like rain?"

"Keith, you don't like rain."

"I like the smell."

"Okay. What else were you thinking about?"

"His voice."

"Oh?"

"It's nice. The voice he uses when he talks to Blue, soft and light. Almost like a feather soft touch, tickles you and makes you shudder."

"Uh huh." Pidge was recording and Keith didn't know.

"Wonder what he tastes like. Honey and syrup? Vanilla? Caramel? That good soap that Shiro buys?"

Yes, he just said soap. He fucking eats soap.

"Uh huh, keep going."

"Maybe even cherry? Like a sticky, sweet cherry pie?" Keith tongue darts out, he wanted cherry pie now.

"Oh, and his eyes. I can't describe them. Blue. That's the only word. Voices I can work with, eyes are a different story. So much emotion swirls in the eyes, much deeper than words. Baby blue? No.. Periwinkle? No. Hmm, ocean? Yeah. Ocean eyes."

"That all?" Pidge smiles.

"Mhm."

Keith was oblivious. He always has been and he always will be. His heart belonged to mothman.  
Or so he thought.

Pidge hums and sends the video to Hunk. Who then spams her and sends it to Lance.

Lance sits there and plays it over and over again. He wanted to know what Lance tasted like. Dumbfound Lance sits there, eyes wide and mouth agape.

What the fuck? He plays it again. The soft expression on Keith's face making his heart beat 10 times quicker. Taste. Smell. Sound.

"Lana?"

"Huh? Yeah?" Lance turns around.

"Who's that?" Veronica asks, sitting next to Lance on his bed.

"That's Keith."

"Why are you watching that video so much?"

Lance chews on his bottom lip.

"Is he talking about you?" she asks.

"I-I don't know. My friend Hunk sent it to me."

"Ah. Come eat, mamà said dinner is done. Papi is still at work."

"Okay." Lance sits his phone down, listening to the last sentence. Keith had a smile on his face.

He turns his phone off and follows Veronica down the stairs and to the dinning room. He missed Marco. He could text him and talk to him about Keith.

Lance shoveled his food down and then excused himself. He sat at his desk, hovering over the call button.

"Just call hermana." Veronica's voice sounds from the door.

Lance jumps.

"Get out!" he squeaks.

"Haha, okay Lana. Sleep good tonight, alright?"

"Alright."

The door closes, and he presses the call button. Keith, Hunk, and Pidge popping up on the screen.

 _"Hey nerd."_ Pidge smiles.

 _"You feeling better?"_ Hunk asks.

_"Feeling better? What happened?"_

"I passed out at school." Lance snorts.

 _"What?! Are you okay?!"_ Pidge shouts.

"I'm fine, didn't sleep too good last night."

 _"Was it because of that dream?"_ Keith asks

"No, something else."

_"What?"_

"It doesn't matter." Lance smiles.

 _"Cute."_ Pidge mumbles.

Lance stays up for a while talking to everyone until Hunk and Pidge get offline. Pidge's cramps had been killing them so they got offline and took meds and went to bed.

Hunk wanted to sleep so he got off too. That left Lance and Keith.

"So,, that video." Lance mutters.

_"Huh?"_

"Hunk sent me a video earlier."

_"Oh, what was it?"_

"It was of you, I guess Pidge sent it to him."

_"What about me?"_

"Just you talking."

_"About?"_

"Me." Lance mutters, chewing on his bottom lip. That drew Keith's attention down to Lance's lips. Tongue subconsciously flitting out.

 _"What- uh what was I saying in that video?"_ Keith asks, eyes trailing up Lance's face.

God was it possible to kiss someone through a laptop because Lance really wanted to. Lance wanted to kiss Keith really bad.

"You talked about my voice. And possibilities on how I'd smell or taste."

_"Oh that- that's just curiosity."_

"So you're curious on how Hunk would taste too?"

_"No. No- just you. Well and Mothman, I bet he has some soft lips."_

"Oh. Er, I should sleep?"

_"Oh right. Yeah- yeah. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Lance."_

"Goodnight Keith." he ends the call and shuts his laptop. Pulling out his phone he texts Marco.

_> >>Marco>>>_

**L:** dude  
i like keith  
i think he might like me  
but idk

 **M:** lance  
its late

 **L:** i know but i need your opinion.

 **M:** fine  
on what

**L:** _video.attached_

**M:** ,,,  
he likes you  
there's no sane person that would sit there and describe someone like that unless they liked them

 **L:** wHAT DO I DO???

 **M:** well  
you can sit there and suffer in your own pining  
or you can make a move.

 **L:** pining it is  
goodnight marco tell your girlfriend i say hi

 **M:** she says hi  
and that you should go for Keith  
he seems sweet  
night hermano

With that Lance changes into pajamas and crawls into bed. Drifting to sleep. Dreamless and dark, like usual.   
  
  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably won't update tomorrow because my grandma is taking me shopping and Sunday there may be angst from both sides.

Pining officially sucked ass. Who the hell even came up with the idea to just wallow in your own crush for some guy that's way out of your league? Pfft, sure as hell was a dumb one. But that's exactly what Lance was doing.

If he could just grow a pair, he'd definitely ask Keith out. But he couldn't really tell if Keith liked him back. Maybe Keith was just saying those things platonically?

No- people who like someone don't have that incredibly soft look on their face.

Lance groans in frustration and throws himself on his bed. Air getting pushed out by the force. He grabs his phone and checks his messages.

Nothing new from Keith. Nothing new from Hunk. Nothing new from Pidge. Man was everyone dead today?

He throws his phone to the side and turns over, looking to Blue's tank.

"Did I do something wrong Blue?" Lance huffs.

Blue stares at him, unblinking.

"No, you're right." Lance sighs, sitting up.

"You wanna slither around?" he gets out of bed, trudging over to Blue. He carefully takes him out and lets him slither down his body.

An hour passes and still no new texts. He screams into his pillow and kicks his feet. Why did he have to be so impatient? Text first you idiot.

He grabs his phone and puts Blue up.

"I'll take you back out after I eat." Lance smiles, heading out of the room and down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Lana."

"Yeah, mamà?"

"You sleep good last night?"

"Yeah, don't worry I'm not gonna pass out anytime soon." Lance laughs.

"You better not, you keep scaring us with that crap." his mom sighs, standing up to pull him into a hug.

"Lo siento mamà." Lance mumbles, hugging back.

 

After he makes himself lunch, he heads back upstairs. Nearly running into Veronica, who is paying way too much attention to her phone.

"Sorry Lana."

"Its fine. Why are you so distracted?"

"Nyma wants me to go to a party. I told her no because of how badly she treats you and now we're arguing." Veronica sighs.

"You can go if you want to, Ronny. Get you a chance with the cool kids." Lance smiles.

"I can't do that to you." Veronica shakes her head.

"Ronny, it's fine. Go have fun hermana. Get you a boyfriend or girlfriend whatever you're into." Lance smiles, heading to his room.

He hears his phone chime, nearly falling over a shoe. He grabs his phone and unlocks it. A text from Pidge in the group chat.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**P:** im running on 2 hours of sleep  ive seen god himself in one of my sleep deprived day-mares

 **L:** jfc pidge

 **P:** caffeine is the only thing keeping me alive rn

 **K:** pidge  
i don't wanna be a party pooper  
but you sir  
need to fucking sleep

 **P:** never  
i'd rather shoot myself

 **L:** no  
you need sleep smh

 **H:** pidge  
go to bed.

 **P:** ,,,  
you can't tell me what to do

 **K:** gasp  
what the fuck   
did you just say  
to our beautiful sunshine boy??

 **P:** told him  
he can't fucking tell me what to do knife boy   
you won't do shisjfhwjjfwiidiushbs

 **L:** oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead

 **H:** _img_ _.attached_  
me rn

 **L:** hHSHDHDHSHS HUNK

 **K:** pidge is asleep

 **L:** that sounds ominous  
keith  
what'd you do

 **K:** knocked her out

 **H:** hsrjjsjfjs im dipping bye  
i got stuff to bake with my moms

 **L:** bye hunk eat food for me <3

 **K:** bye hunk

 **H:** bye ily guys

 **L:** so  
guess that leaves us  
huh

 **K:** yeah,,  
uh  
do you  
do you wanna call?   
im doing homework in the dinning room but- do you want to?

 **L:** sure

 

Lance grabs his laptop and turns it on, plugging the charger in. He calls Keith on Skype and waits for him to pick up.

When Keith's mop of hair and part of his face pops up Lance smiles. He was clearly focused on his work.

"What are you working on?"

 _"Whatever_ _Pidge_ _brought me."_ Keith mumbles, chewing the eraser of his pencil.

That made Lance cringe. Unsanitary and gross. Erasers don't taste good at all.

"Ah, cool."

_"_ _Mhm_ _."_

_"Are you talking to Katie, Keith?"_

Keith looks up and to the side, staring who ever just spoke down.

_"No, I'm not talking to_ _Pidge_ _."_

_"Shit, I'm never gonna get that right. So who you talking to then? I know you don't have friends."_

_"Wow, thanks_ _Takashi_ _."_

Takashi? That's the brother. Lance sits there, fiddling with his fingers.

_"I'm just joking, who is it though?"_

_"His name is Lance."_

_"Ooh that guy."_

That guy? What did he mean?

 _"Shut up! He can hear you!"_ Keith's voice cracks, cheeks flushing pink.

_"Awe is Keith embarrassed? Lemme meet him."_

Shiro comes into view on the screen, arm wrapped around Keith.

_"So you're who keeps my baby bro up all night, hm?"_

"I-I y-yes?" Lance squeaks.

_"Don't be shy. What are you intentions with Keith?"_

_"_ _Shiro_ _! Go away!"_

_"I'm just joking."_ Shiro laughs, ruffling Keith's hair before leaving the room.

_"Okay, but gold fish food doesn't taste bad."_

"What?"

_"Gold fish food doesn't taste bad. It tastes like healthy cereal."_

"What the fuck." Lance laughs.

_"You should try it sometime. Oh and there's this really good soap that Shiro gets. It smelled really good so I kinda just drank it. It was pink and blue and just- wow."_

"Keith, soap is bad for you. And so is fish food."

 _"If soap is so bad why do we rub it on our bodies? Also, just curiosity, what uh- what soap do you use?"_ Keith asks, looking up from his work, pencil on the tip of his tongue.

"Uhh, well body wise is vanilla and hair is mango. I don't think they mingle very well, but they both smell really good."

_"Hmm."_

"What."

_"Nothing. I pinned you for a guy that used something uh like old spice."_

"Mind you I'm not out yet, can't really use those. Plus soap doesn't make you any more manly or feminine."

_"Cherry chapstick tastes good too."_

"Did you eat it?"

_"No I made out with a dude and he was wearing some."_

"Oh." Lance's face drops a bit. So, was Keith a player? Or was it a boyfriend?

_"It was a long time ago though. Can't eat cherry pie without remembering it. Sucks."_

"Was he a good kisser?"

_"No, not at all. It was sloppy and his tongue tasted like cheap beer."_

"Ah."

 _"I got mixed in with the wrong crowd."_ Keith mumbles, resting his head in one of his hands.

"Yeah, think I was in with the wrong person for a while."

_"Dude I kissed was considered a Prince around our school. He's moving again so that's good. Him and his 'generals' mercy on any school he goes to."_

"What's so bad about him?"

_"Spreads drugs, lies, rumors. Makes out with yOUR BROTHER EVEN THOUGH SAID BROTHER KNOWS YOU WERE DATING THAT TWAT!"_

_"KEITH IT WAS ONE TIME!"_

_"ONE TIME TOO MANY ASSHOLE!"_ Keith laughs.

"Pfft."

_"His name is Lotor, his dad is a grade A asshole and his mom doesn't even remember giving birth to him. They were so fucked up on drugs. His mom didn't even know she could conceive. They call her Haggar. Instead of her actual name Honerva."_

"Damn." Honestly, Lance was just paying attention to Keith's eyes and lips. His lips looked chapped yet soft at the same time. He really wanted to apply some chapstick and just-

_"Hey you listening?"_

"Huh? What?"

 _"Pfft you spaced out. Uh, I don't even remember what I was saying now haha."_ Keith chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

"Sorry."

 _"Its fine."_ Keith gives that incredibly soft smile that makes Lance's heart rate skyrocket.

 _"WILL YOU TWO DATE ALREADY IM TIRED OF SEEING MY BROTHERS OBLIVIOUS PINING BECAUSE HE'S TOO SMALL MINDED TO REALIZE MOTHMAN IS FAKE AND WILL NEVER RETURN HIS FEELINGS!"_ Shiro shouts.

 _"Will you excuse me?"_ Keith smiles, standing up. The chair scraping against the wood floor. He grabs his knife from the table and rushes over to Shiro.

_"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH KEITH STOP NO NO I DONT WANT MALARIA!"_

_"I'm gonna tell Uncle Kolivan you keep calling it that you fucking numb skull!"_

_"KEITH STOP HHHHG OH MY GOD I'M GONNA FUCKING PUNCH YOU! GET THAT MALARIA SHIT AWAY FROM ME!"_

_"You ready to fuckin die?"_

_"OH IM A BAD BITCH YOU CAN'T KILL ME!!"_

"OH MY GOD I OFFICIALLY WANNA MARRY YOUR BROTHER KEITH!"

Keith pops back up in the camera pointing the knife at it.

_"No."_

_"I'm sure Matt would love you Lance, we always are taking appli-AHH WHAT SKFJJSJFJAJ KEITH IM NOT GONNA TOUCH HIM OH MYDHJAJDJSJD HELP ME!"_

Lance snorts and sits there with the dorkiest grin on his face.

 _"I'm gonna move to my room so I can avoid a certain asshole."_ Keith smiles, carrying the computer.

Lance yawns and rubs at his eyes.

_"You tired?"_

"Yeah kinda."

_"Sleep then."_

"Will you stay on with me?"

_"Of course."_

"Mkay, I'm gonna sleep then. Night Keith."

_"Night Lance."_

Keith basically spends an hour or two studying Lance's face while he's asleep. His cupids bow was Keith's favorite. And the tiny gap between his top teeth.

The light freckles painted over the bridge of his nose and over his cheek bones. The way his hair rested against his face. The long thick eyelashes.

Lance was just really attractive. That didn't mean Keith liked him. Opposite of like actually. Hate. Keith hated Lance and that's how it would stay.

Keith envied Lance for being so damn perfect. If he hated him, why couldn't he just get off of Keith's mind. It was like a broken record, him telling himself he had to hate Lance.

Repeating that Lance would just hurt him. Keith was afraid to fall and damn was he falling hard. So he passes it off as hate and hangs up. Slamming his laptop closed, setting it aside.

He throws the blankets over himself and and dreams of Lance. Hating himself for doing it. Hating Lance for occupying his mind so often. Hating everything about the wonderful Cuban.  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow these boys are gonna suffer >:)

"Pidge, I hate Lance." Keith groans, throwing himself to her floor.

"Uh huh sure you do, buddy." they laugh.

"I seriously do. What made him think he has the right to look that fucking good? God he's gonna look even better when he gets on testosterone."

"Keith, this isn't hate you fucking idiot."

"It has to be, I can't cheat on my husband."

"Do you have Mothman's consent to be saying these things? Maybe mothman doesn't want a relationship."

"He does. He loves me and I know it."

Suddenly Pidge's bedroom door slams open.

"IM GOING ON A DATE WITH TAKASHI HOW DO I LOOK??" Matt screeches, standing there in a white button up and black pants. His glasses shoved to the bridge of his nose, strands hair shoved behind his ears.

"Fucking horrible." Pidge laughs at their twin.

"Okay- rude. Keith how do I look?"

"Horrible. Bro, you're bisexual, how do you not have a good style?"

"Okay then what should I wear to a fancy restaurant?"

"McDonalds. Shiro is taking you to McDonalds." Keith deadpans.

"He's not taking me to McDonalds." Matt's phone chimes. He looks at it and turns it off, shoving it in his pocket. He looks dead at Keith and sighs.

"He's taking me to McDonalds."

"Yeah, go change you fuck nut. Keith is having a gay crisis and thinks he hates Lance." Pidge snorts.

"IM NOT!!" Keith shouts, cheeks flushing pink.

Matt sits next to Keith, placing both hands on his shoulders.

"What do you think about Lance?"

"He's got nice eyes."

"Uh huh."

"He wants to know what Lance tastes like." Pidge grins

"Lip wise or do you wanna be a fucking cannibal?"

"Lips?"

"That's pretty gay and I'm a professional."

"Fuck." Keith whines.

"Get you your mans. I gotta go change before-"

"Pfft what the fuck are you wearing?" Shiro laughs from the door.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING ME TO A FANCY PLACE YOU ASSHOLE!" Matt shouts, standing up. He grabs Shiro's hand and pulls him to his room.

"Dude you totally like Lance." Pidge smiles.

"Ugh!" Keith groans, throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Oh don't be a drama queen."

"What do I do?"

"Well, you can continue pining and acting like a jackass with your weird 'i wonder what he tastes like' shit or you could uh confess? I think that's how these things work." Pidge laughs.

"Ughhh can I just be a jackass forever?"

"If you want. Now hush, I'm tinkering with Rover." Pidge smiles, turning their swivel chair around to face their desk. A small pyramid hunk of metal sits on the surface.

Bae Bae runs into Pidge's room and bites Keith's ankle.

"WHAT THE FUCK GET YOUR DOG."

Pidge snorts.

"It don't bite."

"PIDGE ITS BITING ME RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD!" Keith grabs for his knife.

"Keith, stab my dog and I'll kill you."

"GET HIM THEN!"

"Bae Bae." Pidge shouts.

The dog immediately unclenches his jaw and scampers off. Keith huffs and rubs at his leg. Lifting his pant leg to see blood running down it.

"Ah fuck. I hate Bae Bae."

"He hates you too. Now go home and talk to Lance~" Pidge teases.

"Fuck you." Keith chuckles, standing up. He limps down the stairs and next door to his and Shiro's house. 

Lance was sat in the living room, Coran and his niece Allura sitting there. Why were they even here? Well, its because they were moved down the block and Coran insisted Allura met Lance.

"Coran, why am I here?" She sighs. Her voice sounded regal and soft. She was quite beautiful too.

"Because you're always cooped up in your room Allura. You should get out more."

"I would if Matt and Shiro lived closer."

"Shiro is terrifying." Lance laughs.

"You know him?" her eyes light up.

"I know Keith more than Shiro. Hah, he kinda dropped into one of me and Keith's calls."

"Oh dear. They fight like they're married." Allura laughs.

"Uh, do you wanna go meet my snake? His name is Blue."

"Oh I don't know. If its no trouble."

"Course not." Lance smiles. He leads her upstairs and into his room.

"Does he bite?"

"Not unless he feels threatened. Blue~ Got you a new friend!" Lance coos, getting Blue out. He carries him over to Allura.

"He's quite cute." Allura giggles, Blue curling around her neck. Tongue flicking out, sniffing her.

"Yeah, do you have any pets?"

"Four! I've got 4 mice."

"Ah, that's cool. I don't think I could actually feed Blue live mice. I wouldn't be able to handle seeing it or seeing if said mouse had injured or killed Blue. He's actually my brothers snake."

"Luis?"

"No, I've got a brother named Marco. He's in college." Lance smiles.

Allura hums, looking around the room. Her eyes land on his binder in the floor.

"What's that?"

"Huh?" Lance's eyes nearly bulge out of his head.

"That. Is it a tank top?"

"Er- yeah.."

"It's quite hideous. You should let me take you shopping one day." Allura smiles.

"Hah yeah." Lance smiles, his phone chimes. He quickly pulls it from his pocket, smiling at the text from Keith.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** good news  
matt got mad at shiro because he took him to McDonalds instead of a fancy restaurant.

 **L:** bad news?

 **K:** Pidge's fucking dog tried to chew my leg off

 **L:** pfft  
hey uh Shiro and Matt's girlfriend is actually here I'll call you later yeah?

 **K:** alright

Lance puts his phone back in his pocket.

"Blue, you're not supposed to get near the underneath of my bed." Lance sighs, picking Blue up.

"Oh dear, I didn't know where he was allowed to go. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I'm gonna put him up. Uh feel free to sit." Lance smiles.

Allura does so, smoothing her dress down when she sits on the bed.

"Its a nice home you've got, Lana."

Lance flinches, he's so used to being called Lance by friends.

"Did I say something wrong? Perhaps a pronunciation error?"

"Ah no, sorry." Lance smiles, chewing on his bottom lip.

"So, what do you do for fun?"

"Uh, I talk to Keith and Matt's sibling as well as our friend Hunk."

"That's fun."

"Yeah. What do you do?"

"Oh you know, lacrosse, talking to Takashi and Matt, I train with weapons and hand to hand combat occasionally." Allura smiles.

"Cool."

"Mhm. Well, I should ask Uncle if he could take me home. I'm quite famished, I'll see you tomorrow at school, Lana. Would you like to exchange digits?"

Another flinch.

"Are you sure I'm not saying something wrong? Do- do you have a preferred name?"

Lance nearly chews a hole through his bottom lip. Nodding his head slightly.

"Why didn't you say something?! What is it? And your pronouns?"

"I didn't say anything because I'm not out to many people. Just Marco, Keith, Pidge, Hunk, and now you. I go by he/him and Lance."

"Alright, Lance. Let's exchange digits now." she smiles, pulling out her phone.

Nearly as soon as her and Coran leave, Lance grabs his computer and calls Keith.

 _"Miss me?"_ Keith smirks.

"Pfft you wish." Lance smiles.

_"God my fuckin' ankle hurts."_

"Sorry man."

_"Pidge kicked me out cause I tried to stab their dog."_

"I'd kick you out too. God- I just came out to Allura and it was the most nerve wracking thing. I thought I was gonna chew my lip off." Lance laughs.

_"She take it well?"_

"Yeah, she saw me flinch at my dead name. So she figured something was up."

_"Ah. I'm sorry, its not easy to come out."_

"Not at all."

 _"Matt was so happy, thought Shiro's cheap ass was gonna take him out somewhere nice."_ Keith chuckles.

Lance soaks in that chuckles and the lopsided smile that comes with it. Man was Keith attractive.

_"Ah- thanks."_

"What?"

 _"Said I was attractive."_ Keith's cheeks were flushed.

Lance squeaks and hides his growing blush.

_"Awe don't be embarrassed kitten."_

Kitten? Kitten?! Lance's face turns 6 shades darker. My God, Keith. Keith was gonna be the death of Lance.

"Kitten?" he peaks up.

 _"Jus' a nickname."_ Keith chuckles again.

"Then can I give you one?"

_"Thought it was Keef?"_

"Well now that I know you better I think I wanna call you Red." Lance smiles, lopsided.

Keith smiles too, eyes focused on Lance's smile, drifting up to his eyes.

_"I like that."_

"Mhm?"

 _"Yeah."_ Keith grins. He looked lovestruck and so did Lance.

Both of them with their chins in a hand. Soft smiles and heart eyes as the look at each other. Ruined when Lance's door slams open.

"Lana, mamà and papi say get dressed we're going out for dinner. Papi got a promotion at work so he wants to celebrate."

"Okay, give a minute."

Luis closes the door. Lance turns his attention back at Keith who is simply staring where Lance's lips are.

"Hey, you heard that right?"

_"Huh?"_

"No. Pfft, I gotta go."

_"So soon?"_

"Awe Keefy's gonna miss me."

_"Shut up. Go away."_

"Alright, Red. Bye~" Lance coos.

_"Bye kitten."_

Lance hangs up and sighs. Lovesick. He gets up and gets dressed.

Keith screams in frustration and slams his head on the desk. Tell him. Just tell him. C'mon.

Later. Not today. Not tomorrow. Next week? 2 weeks? Keith would decide later. For now he had to figure out what to cook himself for dinner.   
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

There was a new student coming in today. Lance was honestly dreading it, he didn't need more people to harass him. Sighing as he got out of bed to shower and get dressed.

He dries off as much as possible before slipping his binder on, blue shirt afterwards. He shimmies into his jeans and slips on his jacket. Socks and shoes next.

He grabs his backpack, laptop, and phone and heads downstairs.

"You gonna eat something or did I make breakfast for nothing mija?"

"Ah, I can't mamà. I'll help with dinner later if you'd like."

"No its fine, I'll get it." she smiles.

He grabs a strawberry to please his mom and quickly eats it, throwing the top into the trash before exiting the house. Allura didn't ride the bus, she thought it was filthy and loud. So Lance was stuck alone, like usual.

His first period class a tall male with long silver hair makes his way into the class. The guy meets Lance's eye and grins. It sent chills down Lance's spine.

Lance looks down at his notebook for a minute before someone taps on his shoulder.

"The seat next to you taken, love?"

"Ah, no." Lance smiles.

"What's your name?"

Lance was split in between telling him Lana or Lance.

"Cat got your tongue?" the male leans over, looking at the name on Lance's notebook.

"Lana McClain." he mutters.

"Y-yep." it hurt Lance to say that.

"Well I'm Lotor Daibazaal."

Lance's stomach drops, that was Lotor. Lotor from Keith's school.

"Do- uh do you know a Keith?"

"No." Lotor scoffs.

"Ah sorry." Lance grabs for his phone and shoots a text to Keith.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** keith  
that lotor kid is here  
what the fuck do i do?

 **K:** stay away from him  
he's bad news lance  
i don't want you hurt.

 **L:** he's right fucking next to me  
shit gotta go  
teacher.

Lance puts his phone back up and faces the front of the room. Just ignore the walking L'Oreal commercial, yeah. Easy. He sighs and taps his foot on the tile.

"You don't happen to have another pencil do you?"

"Nope." Lance mutters.

"Ah okay."

By the time lunch rolled around Lance was happy. He'd get to hang out with Allura and take his mind off the whole Lotor situation.

His eyes search the cafeteria for her. Finally landing on her white hair and light pink dress. He rushes over. But soon slows when Lotor swoops into his seat.

Lance chews on his bottom lip. Go in or just sit somewhere else? He sighs and decides to sit there. Next to Allura.

"Oh, Lance have you met Lotor?"

Lance's face pales. She did not just.

"Thought your name was Lana, little bird."

"I-I it is!" Lance squeaks.

Allura sits there dumbfound. She said something wrong again.

Lance gets up from the table and chews on his bottom lip. Tasting blood this time.

"I-I- I'm gonna go.." Lance whispers, heading to the bathroom. By the time he was there he couldn't breathe.

He slips down the wall, panting and heaving. He grabs for his phone, words blurring together on the screen.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** jeuth cali ne

It takes a moment for the tone to sound. Lance blindly pokes at the answer button. First thing Keith hears is sobbing and gasping.

_"Lance what's wrong? Can you take a deep breath for me?"_

Lance hiccups and sobs, taking in a deep shaky breath. His hands and body shaking.

_"C'mon Lance you can do this. You're okay."_

Lance continues to try and calm down. It doesn't work very well at first but Keith's voice starts to soothe him.

_"Hey, hey. You okay now?"_

"She- she called me Lance- i-in sc-school. K-Keith they're- they're gonna find out." Lance whispers.

_"Who- Lance you gotta calm down."_

"Allura- she called me Lance in front of Lotor-" from outside Lance can hear the bell ring.

"I gotta go- I'll call you later." Lance mumbles, hanging up quickly. He grabs his things and exits the bathroom. Not caring that he was obviously crying.

Lotor was waiting outside with a group of girls. Lance's eyes widen. Shit. Next thing he knew he was pinned against the wall by the tallest girl.

"Now, Lance. If you don't want to be outed to everyone here. Hmm especially your siblings I suggest you stay away from Kogane as well as Allura. Block them from your life and never let them back in. Now, call Keithy back and tell him to fuck off."

Lance's eyes widen again.

"W-what? I-I can't do that to him!"

"Then I will." Lotor sighs, grabbing Lance's phone.

"No passcode. That's a bold move McClain."

Lotor calls Keith on Skype and waits for the answer.

_"Lance? I thought you had to go? You okay?"_

"You're more caring then I remember Kogane." Lotor purrs, a smug grin on his face.

_"The hell do you want. Why do you have Lance's phone you ass."_

"That's for me to know. Quit contacting him, he doesn't want to speak to you. Do you Lance?"

Lance sobs and shakes his head.

_"You fucking asshole yOU'RE FUCKING LUCKY IM NOT THERE OR YOUR REGAL-"_

Lotor hangs up and shoves Lance's phone into his chest.

"There. Problem solved." Lotor sighs.

"Zethrid, for fuck sake drop the fucking twerp."

And she does. Lance falls into a pile on the floor. Sobbing again.

"Lotor, don't you think this is a little harsh?" Axca mutters.

"Harsh? Axca, I will show you harsh if you question me again. This is the 2nd time. Do it again and you won't be able to speak." Lotor hisses, grabbing her wrist pulling her along.

Ezor gives Lance a look of pity before rushing off to catch up with them. Zethrid follows and pulls Narti along. 

Keith sits in his room, pacing. He couldn't do shit. What if Lotor's generals hurt him? Shit.

"Keith stop pacing!" Shiro shouts.

Keith grabs handfuls of his hair, tugging at them. Pacing more he chews at his bottom lip.

Footsteps from the hall. His door opens.

"Keith- fuck, are you okay?"

"Am- am I okay?! DO I LOOK OKAY TAKASHI?! LOTOR- he- he goes to Lance's school. FUCK! And- he- he's being a manipulative cunt again!" Keith shouts.

Shiro sighs and pulls Keith into a hug.

"We can't do much, Keith."

"Zethrid is gonna end up hurting him and Lotor is gonna hurt Axca for trying to stand up- Shiro, I- I can't lose Lance." Keith was sobbing now.

"Shh, its okay." Shiro whispers, unfurling Keith's hands from his hair.

"Its not! If- If Lance doesn't stop talking to me Lotor is gonna out him- h-he can't do that! Shiro- Shiro I'm gonna lose Lance!" Keith sobs harder, trying to claw at his arms.

Shiro grabs both of Keith's wrists and looks him in the eyes.

"If Lance really likes you and cares about you he'll try to talk to you Keith."

"He probably hates me.." Keith whimpers.

"If he does that's his problem."

"It's my problem too because I like him!" Keith sobs into Shiros chest.  
  



	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: ATTEMPTED RAPE/FORCED KISSING, BLOOD, SELFHARM IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE TOPICS SKIP WHERE THE LINES ARE

Keith felt like he was in hell. He was so beyond bored without Lance to talk to. Lance had even left the group chat. He groans for what had to be the hundredth time that day. Nearly a week had passed.

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**K:** so,,  
how's lance doing?

 **P:** i haven't really talked to him  
ask hunk? they're like  
best buds

 **K:** okay  
thanks

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**K:** hunk

 **H:** keith

 **K:** how  
how is lance?

 **H:** not so hot  
he's upset with allura  
he uh he says he misses you  
that lotor guy is a real jerk  
he goes through lances phone everyday to see if he's talking to you.

 **K:** i miss him  
hunk, i miss him a lot.  
it feels weird without him.

 **H:** i know man  
he'll be back  
he's just gotta realize that it doesn't matter

 **K:** it does matter though  
i don't want lotor to out him  
but i dont want to never talk to lance again  
i  
i really like him hunk

 **H:** cute  
y'know he's been talking about coming out so he's not outed  
he wants to talk to you again.

 **K:** are  
uh are you in a call with him?

 **H:** yeah  
he says hi  
oh he's  
he's crying

 **K:** tell him its okay  
tell him i miss him   
its gonna be okay.

 **H:** he misses you too  
says it won't be okay until he can talk to you again

 **K:** fuck  
if i ever fucking see lotor again  
im gonna fucking gut him

 **H:** hey no  
if you wanna see or talk to lance  
you can't go to prison

 **K:** i know.  
god i know but  
ugh you don't understand lotor  
he's an ass and hurts and uses people

 **H:** yeah  
that's how life goes  
uh lance wants to know how you are

 **K:** im holding up i guess

 **H:** he says he's sorry

 **K:** he doesn't have to be sorry  
he didn't fucking do anything

 **H:** he's still sorry

 **K:** i  
i gotta go  
tell him to not come out unless he's safe

 **H:** alright  
he's says he won't

Keith sighs and slams his phone onto his desk. Cradling his head in his hands. Tears slipping down his cheeks. He bites his chapped and bloodied bottom lip.

He shakes his head and wipes his tears, standing up. He sighs and balls his hand into a fist, hitting it against the wall.

"GOD DAMMIT!" He screams.

Why did everything have to get ruined? He could've confessed to Lance. He should've.

Lance was full on sobbing on call with Hunk.

"I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have even mentioned Keith when he told me his name! Then I could still be talking to him." Lance sobs out.

Lance was certainly an ugly crier. His face kind of shriveled up and his sobs were really ugly.

_"You're not stupid Lance. How were you supposed to know he'd pull that shit?"_

"I-I don't know. I shouldn't have even talked him or even looked at him. Everything could be okay. I could be watching movies on rabbit with him or talking to him on Skype about how Luis broke his arm again."

_"I'm sorry Lance. You shouldn't be so upset about this though. Just talk to him."_

"And get outed? Hunk, I can't. If papi found out- he'd- he'd probably kick me out. Its bad enough I'm bi." Lance sighs.

_"Its not bad. You're you, Lance. You were made like this and no one can change that fact."_

"Why- why couldn't I just be born straight and cis? It'd be so much easier and papi wouldn't hate me." Lance mutters.

_"Stop talking like that."_

"I-I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you later Hunk." Lance sighs, ending the call. He closes his laptop and heads into the bathroom to wash his face.

Once he gets in there his eyes focus on all of his flaws. He shakes his head, trying to get the thoughts to go away. He takes a deep breath and quickly washes his face.

He exits the bathroom and collapses onto his bed. Two knocks before the door opens.

"Hey, Lana." Veronica says from the door frame.

"Yeah?"

"Dude named Lotor is here for you."

"Ah.. Uh send him in." Lance mumbles, face shoved into his blankets. He missed Keith so much.

The door stays open for a few more moments before shutting.  
The bed dips.

"So, McClain. You contact Kogane?"

"No. Can you leave me alone?" Lance sighs.

His shirt gets tugged and suddenly he's sitting up.

"I won't hesitate to have the girls hurt you, McClain. You don't want me to go over to your lovely sisters room and tip her off do you?" Lotor grins, wicked and sickening.

Lance swallows hard and shakes his head.

"Good. Keep being good and I won't out you."

\-----TRIGGER WARNING-----  
  


Lance nods and chews on the inside of his cheek. He blinks and Lotor's lips are on his. He tries to shove Lotor away which results in him roughly grabbing Lance's jaw.

"Don't fight Lance." Lotor growls.

"VERO-!" Lance tries to shout which gets cut off by Lotor's lips again.

"Cmon Lance, I know you want this. The way you looked at me on the first day was screaming want." Lotor growls against Lance's lips.

Lance sobs and continues to push against Lotor.

"W-why are you doing this!?" Lance hiccups, stumbling and stuttering over words.

"Because I can." Lotor whispers, pressing his lips roughly against Lance's. Tongue slipping into his mouth.

\-----END-----  
  


Keith continues to pace his room, he grabs his phone. Calling Lance. He didn't care he needed to talk to Lance.

An answer.

 _"I told you to stop contacting Lance didn't I?"_ Lotor sighs, out of breath. A sob from the background.

"What the hell are you doing at his house?" Keith growls.

 _"Oh just paying him a visit. Would you like to see him?"_ the video starts on Lance's end. Lance had tears streaming down his face and large bites on his neck.

 _"K-keith."_ Lance sobs.

"Did you-"

_"No I didn't rape him. Just simple marking what's mine. Back off Kogane before I send Ezor after you and Shirogane."_

Keith freezes, marking what's his?

 _"Y-you're a fucking ass."_ Lance wheezes out. A harsh slap and a yelp.

"FUCKING STOP!" Keith shouts.

_"Don't call again. Or I may do something drastic Kogane."_

The call ends. Keith growls in frustration and he rushes from his room.

"Shiro- we have to do something we can't just- we can't let Lotor do this!" Keith shouts.

"What are we gonna do Keith? He doesn't live here anymore. We don't know where he went. There's nothing we can do." Shiro sighs.

"There has to be! He- he tried to- Shiro he tried to rape Lance!" Keith squeaks, hot tears streaming down his cheeks.

Shiro's eyes widen.

"Shit- Keith. I-I don't,, I don't know what you expect me to do."

Keith groans and rushes back to his room. Going back to his pacing. If he hadn't called, what would've happened? He tugs at his hair, breathing erratic.

\-----TRIGGER WARNING-----

His bottom lip tugged between his teeth. He pulls his hands away, strands of hair between his fingers. Instead he starts clawing at his arms, thinking about all the possibilities.

Why couldn't Lotor have just stayed here? Lance wouldn't have to deal with all this. Nearly 30 minutes later he looks down to see his nails covered in blood as well as he wrists.

"Fuck." he whimpers. Always went back to this. He heads to the bathroom, passing Shiro. His eyes widen.

"Keith.."

"I-I-"

"Shut up. I told you if it happened again you had to go back on your meds."

"Shiro they don't help!" Keith shouts.

"Don't even start with that."

Keith pushes past him and into the bathroom. Washing his hands and arms. Cleaning and bandaging himself before heading back to his room.

If he ever got his hands on Lotor again he'd rip his throat out with his teeth.


	15. Chapter 15

Lance couldn't sleep that night. So school was hell. More so than usual. When the school day ends he goes home and straight to his room.

He texts Hunk.

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**L:** fuck it  
im gonna come out  
if papi kicks me out im gonna move in with marco. He gave me the okay.

 **H:** ksjtjsjzjsj  
just be safe Lance

 **L:** i will

_> >>Marco>>>_

**L:** im gonna come out at dinner tonight.   
so ill call if it goes bad.

 **M:** be safe.   
please.

Lance sets his phone down and think about what he's gonna say. All of this would get him away from Lotor and that'd be good. He chews on his bottom lip and sighs.

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**P:** hunk told me  
just  
be careful lance  
we don't want you hurt more than that prick lotor has hurt you

 **L:** ill be careful pidge

 **P:** good

Lance does homework to pass the time. Getting finished way before dinner. He groans and takes Blue from his tank.

His bedroom door creaks open. He tenses and slowly turns to face it. Lotor. His blood turns to ice.

He stands there frozen, Blue curled around his arm.

"Y-you checked m-my phone today wh-what do you want?" Lance stutters.

Lotor hums and walks over with his hands behind his back.

"Well I was hoping for a nicer welcome. Perhaps a kiss?"

Lance grimaces and puts Blue back up.

"No? Guess I'll take one then." Lotor sighs, shoving Lance against the wall. Hand hovering dangerously over his throat. Lotor then presses his lips to Lance's, tongue pushing into his mouth.

Lance gags and pushes against Lotor.

"I told you not to fight." Lotor rasps when he pulls away.

"Fuck you." Lance spits.

"An invitation?" Lotor grins.

"Hell no."

Lotor sighs and clamps his hand around Lance's throat. Lance's eyes widen, he claws at Lotor's wrist. Tears streaming down his cheek, choked off sobs.

"Stop fighting." Lotor growls.

And Lance does. What else did he have to lose?

"Good job McClain."

Lance gasps in lungfuls of air when Lotor pulls his hand away.

"Next time I kiss you I expect some input."

Lance nods.

"Good. I'll be taking my leave now. By the way your mother says dinner will be done in an hour." Lotor smiles before leaving Lance's room.

Lance sinks down the wall and lets silent tears fall down his cheeks. He curses mentally at whatever is out there for letting this happen.

An hour later two knocks on the door frame.

"Hey Lana, mamà says come downstairs, its time to eat."

"I'll be down in a minute." he mumbles. He felt empty and numb. Bile rushes up his throat and rushes to the bathroom, heaving up nothing but stomach acid.

Lance sits in the bathroom for a minute before he heads downstairs. Anxiety pooling in his stomach. He'd wait until the middle of dinner to tell them.

Picking at his food he barely eats. The anxiety eating away at his stomach. He rubs the back of his neck and chews on the inside of his cheek.

"Uhm, I-I have something to- ugh.. Can I tell you guys something?"

"Of course, mija. What is it?" his mom smiles.

"Heh, uh about that mija stuff. Could you stop with it? I-I- mamà, papi. Luis, Ronny. I'm not the little girl you watched grow up, I never was. For as long as I could remember I've never felt right in this body and you guys always said it was a phase. Well, I did some looking around to figure out exactly what I was feeling. A while ago, I uhm I realized that I'm trans. Your little girl and little sister has never been that. I've always been Lance, not Lana." Lance was in tears by the end as well as his mom.

The table was silent for a good minute or two before his father abruptly stood. His chair scraping loudly against the floor.

"I expect you out in a week." he mutters.

"What?! You can't kick he- him out!" his mother shouts.

"Camilla, shut up for once. He's out and that's final."

Luis and Veronica's eyes widen.

"Papi! You cant!" Veronica shouts.

His father scoffs and leaves the dinning room.

Lance sits there dumbfound. He knew it would happen, so why did it hurt so much.

"Hah,, Marco said I could live with him if this ever happened. So, guess I'm taking that offer sooner than I thought. I only came out because that guy that has been coming over is- he's harassing me and I can't deal with it. I wanna get away from him." Lance mutters, tears falling.

Three sets of arms wrap around him and his mom whispers soothing words.

"I gotta- I gotta call Marco then I gotta pack." Lance mumbles. It all felt so surreal. He stands up when everyone pulls away and stumbles up the stairs.

Leaving a home he grew up in. His eyes drink in everything. The hole in the wall at the bottom of the stairs where he rolled down them and smashed into the wall.

The many pictures of him and his family. The crack in the hallway window where Luis had hit a baseball into it. The cracked door frame in the hallway bathroom where Marco kicked it.

He was leaving chapters of his life behind. What would he do with Blue? He stumbles over to him, pulling him out of the cage.

"I'm sorry baby- I can't take you with me." Lance whimpers, tears falling harder, blinding his vision.

He grabs his phone and calls Marco.

_"Lance, are you okay?"_

"I-I have to leave. Papi doesn't want me here. I-I knew it'd happen but it hurts so much!" Lance sobs into the phone.

_"Oh love..I'll take care of you don't worry."_

"I'm leaving so much behind- the hole, the broken window, the crack in the door frame. Blue, Ronny, Luis, mamà, papi. Nyma, Allura. So much is being left behind hermano." Lance cries.

_"I know. Book your flight now so you can leave sooner, I'll enroll you to the school here tomorrow. Just be safe, yeah?"_

"O-okay." Lance mutters.

_"I love you hermano."_

"Love you too." Lance hangs up and decides to ask Pidge to add him back to the group chat.

_> >>Losers>>>_

_Pidge added Lance McClain_

**L:** call.  
now.  
all of you.

And so Pidge calls. Lance answers immediately as well as Hunk and Keith.

_"Lance holy shit- are you okay?"_ Keith is the first to speak. Worry evident in his voice.

"I uh I'm getting kicked out. I came out and papi wasn't too happy. Moving with Marco some time this week hopefully."

_"I'm sorry Lance."_ Hunk mumbles

"Its fine."

_"So- the Lotor thing- its solved right? You- you can talk to me again? Its been nearly a month and- I miss you Lance.."_

"Yeah, soon as I'm away from here it'll be good."

_"He hasn't hurt you anymore has you? L-like hit or a-anything?"_

"Ha, uh.. Yeah, he has." Lance sighs.

_"Wait- Lotor is in Lance's hometown?? What the fuck did that ass do?"_ Pidge was worried as hell.

"He checks my phone to make sure I'm not talking to Keith and he- he tastes gross. His kissing is sloppy and he's just fucking disgusting. My blood turns to ice when I see him."

_"Lance- did he..."_

"If you count forced kissing and groping then yeah. I mean sexual harassment is horrible but not as bad as what I know he'd do to me if we were alone. He uh- he choked me earlier." Lance mumbles.

_"HE WHAT?!"_ Hunk, Pidge, and Keith shout at the same time.

"Yeah, uhm could we talk about something happier while I pack?"

_"Of course."_

Until he gets exhausted, they all talk while he packs. Keeping his mind occupied and off current events. It was nice. Lance finally slept well for the first time since he stopped talking to Keith. Hearing his voice again was nice.

But seeing his face was a lot better. Even though it had been a month Keith looked a lot more,, grizzled. But he also looked exhausted. Like he hadn't slept in months. Lance was happy for the first time in a while.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of forced kissing and touching  
> Side of angst with some fluff

__Out of all the people he expected to approach him, Nyma had instead. She had tears in her eyes.

"You- you're moving?" her voice sounded broken.

"Uh, yeah. Where'd you hear it from?"

"Veronica, she was upset so I uh I asked what was wrong. She said you're moving in with Marco."

"Yeah, yeah. Why does it matter? You pushed me away."

"Lana, I still care about you."

"Its Lance. The name is Lance." he smiles, a lopsided grin he learned from Marco.

"Huh?"

"Nyma, I'm trans." Lance laughs softly.

"I'll miss you, Lance." she smiles, pulling him into a hug. She kisses his cheek.

"Hey, just keep in touch with me you nerd." Lance sniffles.

"I'll try." she pulls away, wiping her tears.

"I'll be gone this week." Lance sighs.

"Did your family kick you out or something?"

"Papi did. He never approved of me being bisexual, guess this sent him over the edge."

"I guess." Nyma chuckles

"Yeah, I'm gonna find Allura. Talk to her about all this I guess."

"Alright, come see me before you leave this week, Lance." Nyma smiles.

"Will do." Lance smiles. He goes to find Allura. She wasn't in the cafeteria so maybe the library?

He heads towards the library but is stopped abruptly when Lotor pushes him into a wall, forearm pushed against his throat.

"You're fucking leaving?" Lotor growls.

Lance claws at Lotor's arm, tears filling in his eyes.

"Where the fuck are you moving?"

"N-none of your b-business." Lance croaks out, lungs burning.

Lotor clenches his jaw and moves his arm off of Lance's windpipe. Taking a handful of his hair to drag him to the bathroom.

Lance cries out, hitting Lotor's arm.

"Will you ever learn McClain? Don't fucking struggle." Lotor growls, dragging him into the men's bathroom. He drags Lance into the corner, pressing against him. Caging Lance in like an animal.

Lance starts to panic, struggling underneath Lotor's weight. Lips against his. Tongue sliding into his mouth, hand slipping under his shirt, one settled at the base of his throat.

"Kiss back." Lotor growls, squeezing his hand around Lance's throat. Nails digging into the skin.

So Lance does. Nearly throwing up in his mouth as he does so. His heart was hammering in his chest. He takes the moment and bites Lotor's lip, hard. Brings his knee up and hits against his crotch.

Lotor grunts and pulls away, falling to the floor.

Lance kicks him and rushes out of the bathroom, tears rolling down his cheeks. He runs to the front office, rushing in. He runs into the principal, panting heavily.

"Sorry!" he squeaks, backing up and looking up.

"You okay?"

"Not at all."

The principal takes Lance into her office and closes the door behind them.

"What happened..."

"Uh- Lana,, or Lance is preferred. L-Lotor Daibazaal dragged me into the mens bathroom and f-forced himself on me." Lance whispers, his heart pounding, blood thrumming in his ears.

His stomach was in knots, blood ice cold. Breathing uneven.

The principals eyes widen.

"Daibazaal forced himself on you?"

"Yes ma'am, could you- could you call my mother?"

"Of course. We'll get this taken care of Lance." she smiles.

He waits in the office shaking for 30 minutes before his mom picks him up. She pulls him into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

When he gets home he rushes to him room and locks the door. He strips from his clothes and runs a hot shower. He sinks to the floor of the shower and sits there.

He cradles his body and lets out a sob. Body shaking as he cries. He sits in there until the water turns frigid.

He turns the water off and gets out. Grabbing a towel, he wraps it around himself and dries off. Padding to his room to get dressed.

His blood turns cold, Axca sitting on his bed.

"W-what do you want?" Lance whimpers, backing up. His towel tight around his body.

"I'm not gonna hurt you don't worry. I-Ive fallen victim to Lotor as well. I know how it feels. I'm sorry he did that to you, nobody deserves this shit. I wanna get Zethrid, Narti, and Ezor to see that. I don't want Ezor getting hurt like I do. Soon Lotor will grow tired of me and he'll move to Ezor. He's already had Narti in his clutches. Poor girl is mute and blind from the abuse." Axca sighs.

"I'm sorry."

"Its not your fault you don't gotta apologize. Keep in touch with me and uhm tell me how Keith is? Krolia and I would like to know."

"Who's Krolia?"

"His mom. She left when he was a baby, she's undercover in Zarkon and Lotor's drug cartel. The Galra, is what the gang is called. Her brother Kolivan runs the whole thing."

"Keith's uncle. The knife, malaria?"

"Malmora." Axca chuckles.

"Shiro calls it malaria." Lance laughs, he felt awkward as hell.

"I should get going. I'll leave my number for you." she smiles, grabbing a piece of paper and pen from Lance's desk. She scrawls her number and takes her leave.

Lance quickly gets dressed and collapses in a heap on his bed. He yawns and pulls his blanket over his body. Drifting into a nightmare filled sleep.

He wakes up feeling like Lotor's hands were trailing his body. Hands in his pants, up his shirt. Disgusting lips against his own.

He sits straight up, eyes wide. Panting, he realizes it was a dream. He grabs his phone and unlocks it.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** how  
um how was school?

 **L:** horrible.

 **K:** what happened?

 **L:** lotor um he found out im moving.  
he got really mad and dragged me to the bathroom.  
tried to force himself on me so i bit his lip really hard and kneed him.   
then i ran to the office and told the principal and i got sent home

 **K:** anything else?

 **L:** got out of the shower a little bit ago and his girl Axca was in my room.

 **K:** what'd she do  
are you okay?

 **L:** im fine  
she's going through the same thing  
but a lot worse.   
she told me about narti,,

 **K:** what about her?

 **L:** she's mute and blind  
lotor uhm   
lotor got her bad

 **K:** what the fuck  
narti was the sweetest girl in that group.

 **L:** sounds like it.  
axca really cares about ezor

 **K:** that's cause they're dating

 **L:** ah  
cute

 **K:** when are you moving?

 **L:** flight is this weekend.   
marco has things for me there so  
im packing light like a couple bags.

 **K:** you think you'll like it where you're going?

 **L:** moving from florida to arizona, heard its hot there

 **K:** uh   
mind me asking where in arizona?

 **L:** think its phoenix  
why?

 **K:**...  
...  
Lance

 **L:** uh huh?

 **K:** we might live close together,,

Lance's heart races.

_> >>Marco>>>_

**L:** what school are you enrolling me to?

 **M:** Galaxy Garrison  
you still like astronomy right?

 **L:** yeah  
flights this weekend btw

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** hes enrolling me to the galaxy garrison  
you heard of it?

 **K:**...  
lance   
oh my god

 **L:** what?

 **K:** that's my school.  
that's me and Pidge's fucking school.

 **L:** oh  
oh my god

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**L:** PIDGE  
PIDGE  
PIDGE

 **P:** wHAT

 **L:** im  
im moving right

 **P:** yes

 **L:** guess what

 **P:** what

 **L:** galaxy garrison  
that's the school ill be going to

 **P:** no.  
no fuckin way  
you're  
you're joking right

 **L:** not at all

 **P:** holy  
holy shit  
holy shit  
HOLY SHIT.

 **L:** I KNOW  
IM NERVOUS

 **P:** don't be  
if you have Iverson  
just be prepared to be terrified

 **L:** this means keith is gonna see me in person  
and he's gonna see what i don't want anyone to see..

 **P:** you'll do fine, lance

 **L:** no  
oh my god  
pidge  
pidge i'm gonna die

 **P:** keith will like you no matter what now hush  
i have robots to program and things to hack into ily

 **L:** ilyt

Lance was dying. He was happy but he was nervous. Terrified. Carnivorous butterflies rip at his stomach. Filling up to his lungs and spill out of his throat. Blood covered monarchs.

He hated these feelings. His stomach was a mess of knots. Nerves tangled and tied. He shoves his face into his pillow and groans. Life sucked balls.   
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I only update so much because I write late at night then write when I wake up.   
> It won't be like this after August 7th.  
> August 8th I go back to school so updates may be slow or completely missed for a while.

The days passed in a blur and suddenly it was Saturday. He got out of bed, his body as heavy as lead. He was leaving his home.

He trudged around his room, finding his clothes. He slips into a pair of jeans, his binder, and a large shirt. Yawning as he heads out of his room and downstairs.

It was barren of people. He hums and heads to the kitchen. Why not make breakfast on his last day.

He whips up some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Blinking blankly, he turns around. Jumping when he spots Luis at the counter.

"Mierda!" Lance hisses.

"Cálmate, soy solo yo." Luis laughs.

"Its not funny! I thought you were Lotor here to kill me or some shit." Lance huffs, handing Luis a plate of food.

"Lo siento. Ah you're moving today."

"Uh huh." Lance mutters.

"We'll miss you hermano."

"I'll miss you too." Lance smiles.

The rest of the day was nice. He grabs his phone and heads down the street to Nyma's around noon. He knocks on the door. Her mom answering.

"Can I help you?" She smiles.

"Uh it's- its Lana.. I'm here to see Nyma?"

"Oh Lana! Come in sweetie."

He bites his tongue. Its fine. She doesn't know. She doesn't need to know.

"She's in her room. You remember where that is right?"

"Yeah, thanks." he smiles and heads up the stairs to Nyma's room. He knocks and waits for an answer.

"Come in!" she shouts.

Lance opens the door and smiles.

"Hey.. I'm uh leaving for the airport in 2 hours." Lance chuckles.

"You- you were serious.."

"Yeah. I'm sorry Nyma. I'll visit home for holidays and what not. I'll make sure to come see you." He smiles.

"You ass!" Nyma weeps, pulling Lance into a hug.

"Hey, where was all this months ago? All this hugging, huh?"

"Shut up!" Nyma huffs, her face buried in Lance's chest.

"Hah if I didn't have my binder on you'd be between my man tits." Lance snorts.

Nyma busts out laughing and shoves Lance.

"Way to ruin a moment. You know I only pushed you away cause I didn't wanna hurt you. Like relationship wise."

"You hurt me anyways, Nyma. Its fine though. There's this dude I met through one of my online friends and he may have a mullet but he's cute."

"Ooh let me see!"

"I'll have to ask Pidge for w picture."

"What kinda name is Pidge?"

"Well, their birth name is Katie, but they're nonbinary so they go by Pidge. That and they were uh kicked out by the school looking for documents. So they had to go in by a different name. Found out their identity and just stuck with Pidge."

"Ah, they sound cool."

"They are." Lance smiles.

_> >>_ _Pidge_ _> >>_

**L:** hey  
send me a picture of keith  
nyma wants to know what he looks like

 **P:** uh  
the bitch that left you?  
okay,,  
i _mg_ _.attached_  
_img_ _.attached_  
_img_ _.attached_

 **L:** thanks

"Hmm he's okay."

"He's broody and all but he's actually a sweetheart uh let me show you a video my friend took." Lance mumbles. He pulls up the video and lets its play.

"Lance,, he totally likes you. Just go for it."

"I dunno. I'm gonna be seeing him in person y'know? He goes to the galaxy garrison up in Arizona."

"Oh shit. Is that where you're going?"

"Yep."

"Man, I'll really miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Do you have Skype? We could keep in touch and video chat."

"Oh, yeah! Uh here I'll write my info down." she smiles.

Lance sits on her bed remembering all the sleepovers they had when they were younger. They were nearly inseparable until 8th grade.

They'd sit in Nyma's bed, giggling and prank calling people. Snickering about inside jokes. He wondered if Nyma still had that bracelet he made her.

"Hey, Ny' do you still have that bracelet?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah that old thing." she laughs and digs through her jewelry. Pulling out a beaded bracelet with best on it.

"You still have yours?"

"Course I do." Lance smiles.

"You sentimental shit head."

"Hey can't throw away a perfectly good bracelet from 3rd grade."

"This doesn't feel real." Nyma mutters, sinking down to the edge of the bed.

"I know." Lance sighs, his head dangling from the edge of the bed.

"You- you told me to try kissing girls.."

"Yeah?"

"I know- I know you aren't but you still have everything.. Could- could.. Could I kiss you?" Nyma's face was bright red. Before Lance gets a chance to speak up.

"Nevermind it's stupid! You're a guy and I know that! I-I'm sorry that probably upset you or something."

"Hey, its fine." Lance laughs, sitting up. He moves to the floor to sit across from her.

"I uh I don't know how well it'll go because last person I kissed was Lotor..." Lance mumbles.

"Oh. Did you want it?"

"Not at all." Lance whispers.

"Who the hell does that?!"

"Him apparently."

"I'll have Rolo kick his ass."

"No, its fine."

"Its not! Its not, Lance! You can't just say that because people will keep doing that to you! Don't let assholes like that take advantage of you! God you're so-"

Lance huffs and cups her face, pressing his lips to hers.

She tenses before relaxing, her eyes fluttering shut. Her hands resting on Lance's arms. She eventually makes her way onto Lance's lap.

The door opens and something shatters.

Nyma falls off Lance's lap, her eyes wide.

"Lana, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Nyma's mom speaks calmly but you could tell she was pissed.

"I'm sorry Nyma." Lance whispers, hugging her before he takes her leave.

He rushes back down to his house, his heart racing. He probably just ruined Nyma's life.

"Where were you mija? We have to get to the airport in 30 minutes. Get your bags into the car."

"Lo siento. I was at Nyma's."

"You two make up?"

"By the looks of it they made out too." Veronica chuckles.

"Oh shut up!" Lance squeaks.

"Finally." Luis laughs.

"I don't even like Nyma anymore! She was curious, I may not be a female but biologically I am." Lance huffs.

"Alright quit giving Lana- Lance, shit. Sorry sweet heart." his mom smiles.

"I'm gonna get my things." Lance mutters, heading upstairs. He grabs his things and heads back downstairs. Heading outside to put the bags in his mom's minivan.

When he's closing the trunk he feels a pair of arms wrap around him. His eyes widen and he starts to squirm.

"Its just me." Nyma mutters.

"DONT DO THAT SHIT!" Lance shouts, turning around when Nyma lets go

"I'm sorry." she wipes her eyes and nose.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just sad you're leaving."

"Sorry." Lance mumbles.

"Its fine, don't apologize." they sit in silence for a moment, the only noise being passing cars and the birds chirping

"You- you should've kissed me sooner." Nyma whispers.

"What?"

"You should've kissed me sooner, Lance." she speaks up

And so Lance pulls her into another kiss, one hand settled on her lower back the other cupping her cheek.

Tears fall down both of their cheeks, Nyma holding on to Lance like a life line.

"Sure you don't like her anymore hermano?" Veronica teases.

Lance jumps, pulling away.

"Call me when you land." Nyma whispers, kissing Lance for a last time before rushing home.

"I don't even know anymore Ronny." Lance groans, climbing into the minivan. Luis, Veronica and his mom getting in soon after him.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I like Keith, but somewhere deep down those feelings for Nyma still exist." Lance sighs.

"Who makes you happier?"

"Keith. Nyma ditched me for years."

"Who comforts you the most?"

"Keith, he stays up on Skype with me when I'm upset."

"Who makes you smile and makes your heart skip a beat?"

"Both."

"Well, it your decision. You go with someone that you'll only see on holidays or you go with someone that'll be close."

Lance sighs and looks out the window. 3 hours on a plane ahead.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** going to the airport now.  
my sister is a dick

 **P:** most siblings are

 **K:** what'd she do?

 **L:** she's just messing with me about whatever she can

 **H:** what about your mom is she okay?

 **L:** she's crying  
and babbling in spanish.

 **K:** that's always fun

 **L:** yeah  
except i can't understand anything she's saying because its so mixed in with her sobs.

 **H:** so Arizona?

 **L:** yep  
3 hour flight

 **K:** that seems so short

 **L:** i know i was kinda shocked to see that

 **P:** well   
just be safe

 **L:** that all depends on the pilot.  
uh gotta go  
talk later.

And with that Lance waits with his family for his flight to be called. Its a mess of crying and hugs.

"You be safe with Marco!" his mom shouts when he's boarding.

"I will mamà!"

"Good! Or I'll find you and I'll throw my sandals at you!"

Lance laughs, tears streaming down his cheeks. His seat was next to the window and some old lady. Hopefully she'd leave him alone.

He finds himself subconsciously touching his lips. Still tasting the vanilla chapstick Nyma had on. Her lips were really soft. He shakes the thoughts from his head and looks out the window. Watching the world shrink as they take off.   
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I crunched the shit out of this  
> sorry if its not as good as other chapters  
> Keith and Lance may meet soon~

The plane touches down and he exits it. Getting his bags off the belt. He stands around for a little bit before calling Marco.

"Hey are you on your way?"

_"Shit- sorry. I'll be there in 20."_

"Okay." Lance sighs, hanging up. He takes a seat and texts the group chat.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** guess who just landed!

 **P:** sAKFJAKJDJWD  
REALLY???

 **K:** holy shit   
seriously?

 **L:** yeAH Y'ALL GOT AN ANNOYING BOI TO DEAL W NOW AHAH

 **K:** you're not annoying shut the fuck up

 **P:** aggressive compliments

 **H:** aggressive reassuring

 **P:** i smell  
a crush  
the sweet aroma of a keith pining after a beautiful boy

 **H:** i can taste it all the way in san diego

 **K:** i  
do not  
have   
a   
crush  
shut  
up  
before  
i stab all of you.

 **L:** please don't stab me also   
hunk  
text me  
pls

 **H:** gotchu boo

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**H:** what's up  
you got the daily tea or smth

 **L:** i made out with nyma  
we were in her bedroom bc she wanted to hang out b4 i left and she wanted to know what it's like to uh kiss a girl.   
i mean obvi im not a girl but like biologically i am so she was curious and rambling so i kissed her and it got heated and it was nice and i enjoyed it and it took my mind off lotor and it was a really good kiss and i feel guilty because i like keith but he hates me and like we aren't even dating but i feel guilty  
then we kissed two more times and its just uGH HUNK I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER BUT I LIKE KEITH

 **H:** oh bby  
okay  
who makes you happier?

 **L:** keith,,

 **H:** okay  
who makes your heart pound just with a look or laugh or smile?

 **L:** keith,,

 **H:** who makes your face flush with just a few words?

 **L:** keith

 **H:** who takes your breath away?

 **L:** both of them  
they're both really fucking hot   
my god  
nyma has really soft lips and she smells good and has this really nice vanilla chapstick and her body wash is vanilla   
she's really nice but she abandoned me for years and she still has that bracelet i made her in 3rd grade and that made my heart pound  
but keith  
he's another story.   
he's got these mysterious violet/grey eyes, his lips look chapped but also soft. his hair looks gross as fuck but also looks really fluffy. he's got this nice voice that just puts me to sleep. also that month i didn't see him i swear to god he got beefier  
like damn  
also hes a huge softie at heart and loves finding nemo  
he cried  
he also cried at all the disney movies we watched. he's secretly a huge disney nerd and sung along to i won't say i'm in love perfectly and it was adorable

 **H:** go for keith  
you like him more it's obvious  
nyma is just looks and old feelings + long distance isn't that good believe me. it sucks  
i have a gf in new york and she's a sweetheart but i feed off cuddles so its difficult.   
she's gonna visit at christmas

 **L:** aweee

 **H:** look at her  
_img_ _.attached_

 **L:** sHE'S SO PRETTY???  
MY GOD

 **H:** I KNOWW

 **L:** jsudjsjsh marco is here byee

Marco smiles and pulls Lance into a hug.

"It's good to see you again, Lance. This is my girlfriend, Calliope." _[not a homestuck reference go home w that shit]_

"It's nice to meet you." she smiles.

"Nice to meet you too." Lance smiles. Pulling away from the hug Marco had him in.

Calliope was beautiful. How did Marco score with her? She had dyed hair, a light peach color, long and silky. Her skin was fair, soft freckles on her cheeks and nose. Round lips, a nice sized nose. She was tall, around 5'8. Marco stood at 6'0. Lance stuck at the height of 5'4.

"We have a surprise for you at the house." Marco smiles.

"Doesn't seem ominous at all." Lance snorts.

"Ah whatever, c'mon. I'm sure you'll love it. Also we're gonna get you a gender therapist so you can have someone to talk to about all this and they can figure out when to put you on testosterone and such." Calliope smiles. She had a soft voice. It was calming.

"Are- are you serious? You aren't like- you're not pranking me or anything right?" Lance had tears in his eyes.

"Course we're not pranking you hermano. What kind of brother would joke about that?"

"An evil one."

"Yeah and I'm not Luis, so you're good."

"You do too much for me." Lance mutters, wiping at his eyes.

"Save the tears." Marco laughs, pulling Lance along to the car.

Lance freezes at the touch. His stomach swirls and he puts his hand over his mouth.

"Lance?" Marco looks back.

His voice sounded distorted and it made his blood turn cold. Tears run down his cheeks as he feels hands roaming his body. Breath against the back of his neck, lips against his skin.

And then its gone. He swallows down the bile that rushed to his throat. Grimacing, he realizes they're still in the middle of the airport parking lot.

"Sorry-"

"What happened?" Marco's eyes were wide and filled with worry. The same with Calliope's.

"I-I- I'll tell you later." Lance mumbles, shaking the thoughts of Lotor out of his head. He can't hurt you here.

"Okay." Marco sounded reluctant to let things go.

They head to the car and pile in. The ride to Marco and Calliope's silent. It was uncomfortable and weird, but oddly comforting.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** lotor has ruined everything for me

 **K:** what?  
are you okay?

 **L:** my brother grabbed my wrist to pull me to his car and i froze  
i could feel lotors hands and breath on me  
his hair tickling my nose and his disgusting lips.  
im never gonna think of cherries the same.

 **K:** im sorry lance  
i  
i wish i could take your place.  
you didn't deserve that shit.  
you just want to be happy in your own skin and some over priced walking L'Oreal commercial comes and ruins it for you.  
also he still uses cherry chapstick?   
my god he's living in katy perry's i kissed a girl still

 **L:** i don't want you to go through this shit either.  
its fucking horrible and i never wish it upon anyone

 **K:** so how's uh  
how's it going? besides all that?  
do you like it here?

 **L:** its different than florida that's for sure  
uh a lot hotter, but from what i've seen its scenic?  
uh the car ride is very silent and awkward.

 **K:** yeesh  
awkward silence sucks  
also if you want scenic i'll have to show you some places  
especially out where i used to live

 **L:** sounds good  
i gotta go  
marco and calliope have a surprise for me apparently and-  
oh im being blinded bye

 **K:** pfft bye

"Now Cal' didn't know what your favorite shade of blue is- i told her like the beaches and oceans but obviously she's never lived by the coast. So its more of a sky blue?"

"No, it's a dark blue. How do you get sky blue and dark blue mixed up, Marco? God you're an idiot sometimes." Calliope laughs.

"I'm hurt- oh right. Uh, you aren't allergic to cats right? I can't remember."

"No? Marco, you should know I love cats."

"Cool. Cool. Cause Cal' is a fucking cat lady- OW!"

Lance had no idea what was happening.

"Shut up Marco. God- just let him see his damn room."

"Jeez, okay." Marco hisses, pulling his hand off Lance's face.

Lance blinks, eyes adjusting to the brightness.

"Oh he doesn't like it! I suck at interior design! And painting- Marco I'm never gonna make it out there!"

"Cal' he hasn't said anything. Just wait."

Lance looks around, the walls painted a brilliant blue. Sort of like the blue that melds into the pinks of the sunset that creates the beautiful purples.

A white desk in the corner with two plants on it. Their pots around the same color as the walls. His bed in the corner, blue and white bedding. A small bookshelf in the corner filled with books and magazines.

Lance lets out a sob.

"See he hates it Marco! Its so ugly- mmph!"

Marco slaps his hand over Calliope's mouth.

"Let the man speak!" Marco laughs.

"Thank you." Lance whispers, voice sounding broken.

Calliope starts crying as well, she wraps her arms around Lance and holds him close.

Oh boy, tits in his face. Man is he sure glad he doesn't have that problem when he has his binder on.

"Shit!" Lance pushes away.

"What's wrong?"

"I've had my binder on too long- how didn't I notice that?!" Lance whines, shoving Calliope and Marco out

"We got you a few things. Like pajamas and sweaters. Most of the clothes are things Marco can't fit in anymore." Calliope smiles before Lance closes the door.

"Thanks!"

Lance wipes at his tears and takes off his shirt and binder. Taking a deep breath, he hisses.   
His ribs ached. He rubs at his sides and sighs.

No wearing that for a few days. Stupid flight. He searches for a sweater, finding one in the closet, he smiles and slips it on. It was large and comforting, helped hide his chest a bit too.

"Hey, Lance. Are you hungry?"

"Huh? Uh-" his stomach growls and he laughs.

"Yeah- Yeah I'm hungry."

"Alright, be out here in like 10. Cal' and I are gonna get dressed and feed the cat then we can go."

"Okay." Lance felt at home here. Welcomed. Accepted.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** henlo nerds my ribs ache and we're going out to eat.

 **P:** take off your fucking binder

 **H:** take a break from it too!!

 **L:** already took it off now I'm swimming in a sweater and holy shit  
this bed  
oh my god  
its so comfy  
also MARCOS GIRLFRIEND IS AN ANGEL

 **K:** how is she an angel?  
plus isn't hunk the angel?

 **L:** there can be more than one angel   
_img.attached_  
_img.attached_  
_img.attached_  
_img.attached_

 **H:** 1\. thank you keith  
2\. that's a wonderful room  
3\. LANCE YOU LOOK ADORABLE

 **P:** i second 2 and 3

 **K:** ,,,  
3 is accurate

 **P:** AJEHDJAJDJSJ

Lance smiles and sighs.

"Oh I know that look and that type of sigh." Calliope laughs.

Lance shrieks and nearly jumps out of his skin.

"Sorry sorry didn't mean to scare ya. So who's the lucky guy or gal?"

"It's no one. Just some dude my friend introduced me to."

"Oh? Doesn't seem like no one. C'mon tell me about it before Marco comes in here and ruins everything I swear he takes longer than me everytime we go out."

"He's just a guy-"

"Nuh uh nope no you're gonna tell me about this guy."

"Ugh. His name is Keith."

"Mhm."

"And I like him."

"Uh huh. Keep going. Is he dreamy? Do you wanna kiss him?"

"I think I've had my share of kissing for a while,," Lance mumbles, shuddering.

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter. I don't wanna think about it. I'm away from the problem."

"Lance did someone-"

"You two ready?"

"Yeah." Lance hops up.

Calliope chews on the inside of her cheek and stands up as well

"So where we going?" Lance smiles.

"I was thinking McDonalds cause uh- we gotta save money for your therapist and then eventually hormone blockers and testosterone."

"Pfft alright I'm fine with that."

"Cool." Marco smiles and ruffles Lance's hair.

Everything was gonna be alright here.   
  
  
  
  
  



	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: is low key kinda tired of klance  
> Also me: only reads klance fics and only writes them.  
> Me: fuck  
> Keith and Lance meet next chapter? Maybe who fuckin knows? Not me lmao.

When the get to the McDonald's Lance tells Marco what he wants then goes to find a seat. He spots an open booth in the corner and decides to go sit there. Tapping away at his phone.

"Mind if I sit here with you?" a slightly familiar voice asks.

Lance looks up, Pidge standing there. A smug look on their face.

"Holy shit!" Lance squeaks, pulling them into a hug.

"Can't breathe." they laugh.

"Sorry!" Lance laughs, letting them go.

"Keith is too busy brooding at home to join my brother and I. Every Friday we come here and talk about cryptids."

"Ah, that's fun."

"You disappointed your boyfriend isn't here~" Pidge teases.

"He's not- its not like that!" Lance whines, pushing Pidge.

"Well I better go, I can feel Matt staring at the back of my head. I'll see you Monday at the Garrison."

"Alright, tell Keith hello for me."

"Oh he's gonna be pissed I met you before him." Pidge cackles, heading towards the door. Waving as they leave with their brother.

"Who was that?" Marco asks, setting down the food

"Was that the guy you like?" Calliope smiles.

"No, that's our friend. The one that brought Keith into the group chat. Their name is Pidge."

"Pidge?" Marco raises an eyebrow

"They're nonbinary and that's the name they go by." Lance shrugs, taking his food.

They eat and have an idle conversation. Marco steals Calliope's fries and all hell breaks lose.

"Marco, if you wanted fries you should've gotten some- you always do this and it pisses me off you're lucky I don't throw you in front of traffic."

Lance snorts and soda sprays from his nose. Causing the table to erupt in laughter.

"Pfft! Did- did you just fucking shoot soda from- from your nose?!" Calliope laughs, banging her hand on the table, kicking the booth.

They leave the McDonald's around 7. Heading back home. The car ride is silent.

"So, Lance. You gonna tell us what happened at the airport?" Marco asks, looking in the rearview mirror at Lance.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Just- you pulling on my wrist made me freak out."

"Why? Did papi hurt you?"

"What? No! Papi didn't hurt me."

"Then who did?!" Marco huffs.

"Does it matter? I'm away from him and that's all that matters."

"Lance, just tell us, please." Calliope turns to look at Lance. A sympathetic look on her face.

"A guy tried to force himself on me for a month. My friend called me Lance and he figured out I'm trans. He knows Keith and I mentioned Keith so he made me stop talking to him or he'd out me. Then just yesterday or something he dragged me to the bathroom and tried to- he tried to rape me." Lance shudders.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?!" Marco shouts.

Lance shrinks, playing with the hems of his jeans.

"Don't yell at him Marco. Those things are hard to tell someone. I'm sorry that happened to you Lance, some people are just really fucked in the head." Calliope sighs, reaching back to ruffle Lance's hair.

"It's fine." Lance mumbles, looking out the window at the city illuminated by stop lights and street lights.

The rest of the car ride was quiet and tense. As soon as Marco parked the car outside of the apartment building Lance rushed inside.

"Marco, that can be a sensitive topic. We should avoid bringing it up until he's completely ready to talk about it. Don't yell at him for it either, he probably thinks its his fault. Its not pleasant, it'll take him a while to get used to being touched in the places his attacker had touched him. Just give him some time, trust me." Calliope smiles, pressing her lips to Marco's before getting out of the car.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**P:** lmao i just saw lance at mcdonalds

 **H:** ew  
mcdonalds

 **K:** sjJEJFJS WHAT???

 **P:** yeah man if you would've come out and talked about cryptids like we do every Friday you would've saw him  
he's a big ol cutie y'know  
big sweet heart  
good warm hugs mm

 **K:** pidge  
im gonna give you 2 minutes to lock your doors.

 **P:** jokes on you they already are fuck face

 **K:** i'll climb through the vents

 **P:** i  
no??

 **L:** hi

 **H:** lANCE

 **L:** hunk  
shit  
i told nyma i'd call when i land  
talk to you guys later??

 **K:** ,,  
call me before you go to bed

 **L:** 'kay

 **P:** sniff.  
hunk.  
do you smell what i smell?

 **H:** brewing romance  
and a hint of   
sniff  
oblivious pining idiots

 **P:** exactly

Lance grabs his computer and calls Nyma on Skype. Yawning as he waits for an answer.

 _"Hey."_ Nyma smiles.

"Hey."

_"You land okay?"_

"Well yeah. I'm alive."

_"Pfft shut up."_

"So what'd your mom say after I left?"

_"Doesn't matter. How you_ _holdin_ _' up?"_

"Doing as good as I can." Lance smiles.

Nyma yawns and rubs at her eyes.

"If you're tired you should sleep Ny'"

 _"Mm I will just- stay on til I fall asleep."_ Nyma mumbles, eyes fluttering shut.

Lance waits til her breathing evens out before he hangs up.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** you wanted to call?

 **K:** yeah  
hold on

 **L:** okay

It takes a minute but Keith's profile picture pops up as well as a decline and answer button. He answers and smiles.

"Hey there."

 _"Hey."_ Keith's voice was groggy and low.

"Did you just wake up?"

_"_ _Psh_ _no where'd you get that from."_

Keith sounded even better half asleep than awake.

"Well your eyes are kinda red and your voice is all groggy like you just woke up."

_"Maybe I'm high."_

"Pfft. Yea. I shot soda from my nose earlier."

 _"Cute."_ Keith chuckles, looking down at his arms. Pissed at himself for scratching them up.  
If he hadn't he wouldn't be back on that shitty medicine

"You okay?"

_"Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah I'm fine. I'm back on my meds that's all."_

"Why?"

 _"When you uh- when_ _Lotor_ _had your phone that night I ended up um ah it's nothing don't worry."_ Keith sighs

"If you insist. So you gonna miss school?"

_"Mm and pass up the opportunity of meeting you?"_

Lance's cheeks flush.

"Shut up."

_"I wanna meet you."_

"Same here."

_"You think you could sneak out or something? Give me your address and I can pick you up?"_

"I- I dunno. I'm getting kinda tired and Marco is already mad at me for not telling him about Lotor."

_"Ah. So gotta wait til tomorrow or Monday huh?"_

"Yeah."

_"Man that sucks."_

Lance yawns and studies Keith's face. His eyes were dark, sorta empty. Glazed over.

_"I'm still tired as hell."_

"Lets sleep then."

 _"I wanna talk to you."_ Keith whines, pouting like a child.

"You may have gotten more mature in your looks but not your attitude." Lance laughs.

_"Rude. I could just hang up on you right now."_

"But you won't cause you missed me."

_"Shut up. Go to bed you fucking loser."_

"Okay jeez. G'night, Red."

_"Night kitten."_

Lance rolls over, huffing slightly. That stupid nickname again. His cheeks felt hot and his heart was pounding. He shoves his face into his pillow and eventually falls asleep.

Keith knocked out right after him. Snoring loudly, one arm thrown over his eyes and the other spread across his bed.

Two idiots in love. Two completely oblivious idiots in love. That's what they were.   
  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi  
> this isn't very well written  
> i have a horrible headache and my stomach feels like it's churning  
> i'll try to write something better tomorrow.  
> also i've never taken antidepressants so im going off the little bit i read.  
> sorry for this chapter.

Keith was having a horrible day. He kept looking down at his wrists, unable to take his eyes off the scars. He chews at his bottom lip, tapping his foot on the kitchen floor

"Do I have to take these fucking meds?" Keith groans.

"I've told you this already. Take your meds."

"They don't fucking help."

"You're gonna take them. That's final, Keith."

Keith simply sighs and compiles the pills in his mouth. Swallowing them dry. Grimacing at the feeling of them dragging down his throat.

He continues staring down at the array of scars. Jagged and deep, small and thin. Long lines and short lines.

"You going to the Garrison today?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Yea sure what the fuck ever." Keith huffs. Tearing his eyes away from the scars. He hated them now. At the time it was fine and all. Made him feel something for a while. Now they're just ugly reminders of how much of a fuck up he is.

_> >>_ _Pidge_ _> >>_

**K:** come over

 **P:** oh yeah  
you're going to school today

 **K:** yea

 **P:** be there in 5 hold on

Keith heads back to his room and strips from his sweats and t-shirt. Changing into a new black shirt and a pair of black jeans. He slips into his red jacket and shoves his feet into his boots.

They were going to kick him from the Garrison, but Shiro begged for them to keep him there. They complied and let him stay, but if he had anymore discipline issues, he'd be kicked out.

He heads into the living room and sits on the couch. Kicking his feet up on the coffee table. He hikes up his sleeves and looks at the scars again.

Something in the back of his mind told him he needed more. It was drowned out eventually when the meds kicked in. So he stares blankly at his arms.

"Hey nerd." Pidge smiles

"Hey." Keith mumbles.

"Shiro throw you back on your meds without working up to the dosage?"

"Mmh."

"Fucking idiot. C'mon we get to go meet your little boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"But you wish he was."

"Yeah."

"You two ready?" Shiro asks.

"Yep." Pidge smiles.

The ride to the garrison was silent. Keith staring out the window blankly. Everything seemed like it was in black an white. Nothing mattered in that moment. Not even meeting Lance.

Keith was so beyond numb that he couldn't remember what it felt like to be in the moment with Lance and just be happy.

The school rolls up and Keith blinks. It felt like it was only 2 minutes. He blinks again and gets out of the car. Autopilot.

"Lance is waiting out front for us."

Sounded like they were under water. Keith nods. He felt floaty and like he was watching himself from a movie or a game.

Heavy footsteps, trudging against the asphalt. Sluggish movements. Exhaustion. He felt like a zombie.

"Is he okay?"

And suddenly he's back to the real world. Feeling like he just got out from the bottom of the ocean. He rubs at his face.

"Sorry. Shiro insisted I get put back on meds."

"I know, you told me last night."

This was all so surreal. It had to be a dream

"Pidge, will you pinch me?"

"What? Why?"

"I'm dreaming."

"No you aren't." Pidge snorts.

"Are you saying I'm the man of your dreams?" Lance teases.

Pidge pinches him and he sorta sits there. He could feel it but it didn't hurt. Numb. Numb. Everything was numb.

He felt like he was buried under snow. Fingers numbing, toes frozen. Sound muffled and nearly gone. Relaxing. He could stay there forever.

The whole day goes on like that. Cold. Numb. Quiet. A blur.

He had been stuck with Iverson the whole day. His words seemed to be muffled. Go in one ear and right out the other. Keith was floating in the ocean and if he didn't stay upright he'd drown.

Only his mouth and nose above the water. His ears filling with the bone chilling liquid. Any wrong move would set him off and he'd be pulled under.

"Kogane, class is dismissed. Get outta here." Iverson grumbles.

Keith blinks and looks at the clock. The school day was over.

"Sorry sir." Keith mumbles, getting up from his chair.

"You alright?"

Why did he care?

"Meds, sir." Keith mutters, grabbing his things and leaving.

This isn't how he wanted to meet Lance. He wanted to be off his meds and be able to talk without trailing off.

"Does- does Keith hate me?" Lance asks Pidge. They were waiting outside for Keith.

"What? No! Lance, he's back on his meds and Shiro didn't let him build up to his dosage. He zones out a lot and gets really tired."

"I dunno it feels like he hates me."

"Who hates who?"

"Nothing- nobody." Lance squeaks.

"Oh, okay." Keith rubs at his eyes and groans.

"Tired?" Pidge smiles sympathetically.

"Yeah. I know I should eat but damn I'm not hungry." Keith mumbles.

"You should eat."

"I know I should. If I move wrong I'm gonna drown. If I do anything wrong I'm gonna drown."

They sit there in silence for a bit. A car pulls up and honks, knocking them all out of their little dream lands.

"Ah that's Marco. I'll talk to you guys later." Lance smiles.

"I'll probably be asleep." Keith smiles lazily.

"No worries. We can call when you wake up." Lance waves, getting into Marco's car.

"Is that the Keith kid?"

"Yeah."

"He looks dead."

"His brother put him back on his meds. He's just drowsy it's no biggie."

"Whatever you say cadet." Marco snorts, driving off.

As soon as Keith is home he lays on the couch and passes out. He's not taking those damn pills tomorrow. He doesn't dream about anything. Just darkness.

He wakes up around midnight in his room. He blinks and rubs his eyes. Did Shiro carry him to his room? Shrugging, he grabs his phone.

Immediately blinded by the screen he groans. Adjusting to the light he checks his messages.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** Calliope's cat won't leave me alone   
send help

 **H:** awee is it a good cat?

 **P:** dogs are superior

 **L:** yeah she's a good cat   
she's missing an eye

 **P:** cute

 **H:** ouch

 **L:** when do you think sleepy head will wake up?

 **P:** uh  
maybe around midnight? 1am?

 **H:** why'd he sleep so early?

 **P:** meds

 **H:** ah those always suck

 **L:** oh!!   
i didn't tell you guys, Marco and Calliope got me a gender therapist!!

 **P:** oH MY GOD!!  
IM HAPPY FOR YOU LANCEY!!

 **H:** tHEY CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH OH MY GOD

 **L:** i fuckin cried  
they're doing so much for me already

_> >>Lance>>>_

**K:** mornin

 **L:** hey sleepy head

 **K:** im not taking my meds tomorrow  
fuck it  
ill act like it and spit them out

 **L:** if you need them you shouldn't skip them

 **K:** i don't need them  
shiro insists that i take them again

 **L:** why?   
there has to be a reason to it

 **K:** i relapsed.   
when lotor was at your house that night and he hit you.  
i ended up freaking out and i clawed the hell out of my arms.   
shiro saw the blood and told me that i have to go back on them  
it's complete bullshit because they don't fucking help

 **L:** keith,,

 **K:** no  
don't start with that pity bullshit  
i fucking hate that  
you don't get to pity me   
your life is a 100 times more fucked than mine

 **L:** that doesn't mean i can't still feel bad  
you've hurt yourself over me

 **K:** i hurt myself because i couldn't do anything  
if i had just stayed with lotor through all his bullshit he wouldn't be there

 **L:** you don't deserve the way lotor treats people.

 **K:** nor do you  
or Axca or Ezor  
or Narti and Zethrid

 **L:** you can't save everyone y'know  
especially if you don't put your oxygen mask on first

 **K:** ,,  
goodnight lance

 **L:** you just woke up

 **K:** goodnight.

Keith turns his phone off and sets it on his bedside table. Rubbing his face. Sighing.

He turns over onto his stomach and buries his head into his pillow. Eventually falling back asleep. Complete darkness.   
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may not update tomorrow I'm going shopping with my dad, grandma and brother. It's gonna be hell. Let's hope I'm not forced to buy the girliest things possible. I honestly believe that I may be nonbinary? But I'm not really sure aaaaaa

Lance didn't sleep very well. He tossed and turned all night. Waking up in the morning he felt like shit. He rubs at his eyes and gets out of bed.

He lazily throws his clothes on. It was his second day taking a break from his binder and he could feel the tendrils of dysphoria wrapping his mind. He throws his jacket on over his shirt and zips it all the way up.   
Sure it was hot as hell, but he didn't want to be seen.

He doesn't bother checking his phone, just simply stuffs it in his pocket before grabbing his backpack and leaving his room.

"Morning." Calliope smiles.

Lance grunts in acknowledgement. He takes a seat on the couch, yawning.

"Didn't sleep well?"

"Nope." Lance sighs.

"Marco already went to work so I'll be taking you to the Garrison today."

Lance hums and rubs at his face. Blowing air out in a long puff.

"So you ready?"

"Mhm." Lance mutters, standing up. His voice sounded too high.

When they arrive at the garrison, Lance gets out of the car and waits by the entrance for Pidge and Keith. Tapping his foot against the concrete.

"Hey." Pidge smiles.

Lance waves halfheartedly.

"You expecting someone else?" Pidge jokes.

"No, sorry. Not wearing my binder is taking its toll. Where's Keith?"

"Talking to Shiro in the car."

"Did- did he take his meds?"

"I don't think so."

The door of Shiro's car slams. Keith storming over.

"Can he stop treating me like a fucking child for 2 seconds?" Keith growls.

Lance wished he had a voice like Keith's. Sure it cracked a lot but at least it was masculine.

"Maybe if you didn't act like one." Pidge snorts

"I don't act like a child." Keith huffs.

Lance just stands there. So many thoughts going through his head. Everyone could see. See past that baggy jacket. See past his baggy jeans.

"Lance?" Keith snaps his fingers.

"Huh?" Lance blinks.

"You zoned out there."

"Uh yeah- yeah sorry." Lance gives a small smile.

"You alright?"

"Yeah yeah. Fine." Lance smiles.

Keith smiles back.

"C'mon lovebirds its time for class." Pidge snickers.

Keith chokes and hits Pidge in the back of the head.

"Ouch!" Pidge whines, slapping Keith.

Keith hits them back and it keeps going until Pidge pushes Keith.

"Get to class Kogane." Iverson grumbles.

Keith rolls his eyes.

"Why don't we go for coffee later?" Keith turns to Lance, a small smile on his lips.

"Sure." Lance gives a small smile. He didn't know if he'd even be able to handle the rest of the school day.

During his 3rd class he feels dysphoria take hold.

He raises his hand and waits for the teacher to look.

"Yes McClain?"

"M-may I go to the restroom?"

"Go ahead." his teacher smiles.

Lance quickly gets up and heads out of the room. Which bathroom would he go to? Lance chews on his bottom lip, heading to the mens bathroom.

Hopefully no one would be in there. He opens the door and listens, upon hearing nothing he walks in. Locking himself in one of the stalls.

He sits on the back of one of the toilets and tangles his fingers in his hair. Tugging harshly, taking in shaky breaths.

He lets the tears roll down his cheeks and hiccups. Lance wanted to crawl out of his skin. So he tries to claw his way out.

Shedding his jacket and shirt he starts clawing at his chest. Sobbing as he does.  He hated this feeling.

The tendrils of dysphoria wrapping tighter. It had a hold of him and it wouldn't let go. Like a rabid dog with his jaws clenched on someone's arm.

His dull nails do nothing to help. His chest heaves as he sobs. Biting his lip to try and stop it but it doesn't help.

Lance grabs for his phone. Blindly calling who he thought was Hunk.

_"Lance? Aren't you in-"_

"Ke-keith-" Lance sobs, his whole body shaking.

_"Where are you?"_

"B-ba-bathroom."

_"Men's?"_

"Y-yeah"

 _"I'll be there in a minute. Don't do anything stupid."_ Keith hangs up.

Lance sits there, still clawing at his chest. Sobbing, strands of hair sticking to his cheeks.

The bathroom door swings open.

"Lance?"

Lance hiccups and grabs for his jacket.

"Hey, unlock the stall."

He finds his shirt and jacket inside of the toilet.

"S-shit." he whines, crossing his arms over his chest. He reaches forward and unlocks the stall. Immediately hiding himself.

"Woah- where's your shirt?"

"Fell in the toilet." Lance mumbles, tears still rolling down his cheeks

"I'll get Pidge to bring a sweater from their locker." Keith mumbles, shooting a quick text to Pidge.

"Don't look at me." Lance mutters.

"You're still a guy no matter what, Lance."

"LOOK AT ME KEITH! I HAVE BREASTS- MEN DO NOT HAVE BREASTS! YOU CAN'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE TO SEE MEN EVERYDAY AND KNOW THAT YOU'LL NEVER LOOK OR SOUND LIKE THEM WITHOUT SURGERIES OR HORMONES!" Lance shouts, voice breaking.

"That doesn't fucking matter, Lance. You're a guy no matter what. Fuck what people think about how you look."

"You don't understand, Keith." Lance whimpers.

Keith huffs and scoops Lance into his arms.

"Wha- PUT ME DOWN!" Lance squeaks.

Keith sits down and holds Lance to his chest. Playing with his hair.

"I'm not good with words or helping people but I hope that this helps." Keith mutters.

The bathroom door opens.

"Keith?" Pidge asks.

"First stall."

"Don't look." Lance calls, trying to keep himself hidden.

"Not plannin'" Pidge chuckles, throwing the sweater on Keith's head before heading out of the bathroom.

"Could you- could you get out?" Lance mutters.

"Yeah sorry." Keith lets go of Lance and leaves the stall, closing it behind him.

Lance chews on his lip and slips the sweater on. It was certainly,, snug.

"Ugh."

"What?"

"Its small." Lance mutters, opening the stall.

"Do you want my jacket to put over it?"

"Oh yes because a tiny cropped jacket will help."

"You're the tiny one. Try it." Keith huffs, handing his jacket to Lance.

Lance chews on his bottom lip and grabs the jacket. Slipping it over the sweater.

"Still too small." Lance laughs, moving to slip it off

"Keep it on. It looks good."

Lance's heart flutters in his chest. How did Keith manage to get his mind off things so fast?

Lance's cheeks flush and he keeps the jacket on.

"You mind going to get a plastic bag from the nurse?"

"Yeah. I'll be back. After do you just wanna skip the rest of classes?"

"I- uh s-sure."

"Cool." Keith chuckles, exiting the bathroom.

Lance wrings his shirt and jacket out. The cold water making his hands shake. He sets the shirt and jacket on the back of the toilet and waits for Keith.

A couple minutes later he comes back. Two bags in his hand.

"Here, she said to double bag it."

"Okay." Lance grabs them, piling the clothes in one bag before slipping the other bag over the other.

"Wash your hands." Keith snorts.

"I was going to. Shut up." Lance mutters, heading to the sinks. He washes his hands twice before he heads out of the bathroom with Keith.

"Why don't we go get that coffee, yeah?"

"Yeah." Lance smiles.

"Cool."  
  
  
  
  



	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo I got to update but today was horrible.  
> My grandma is a complete cunt. I brought up a group that my school has and she started attacking me about it. 
> 
> "Oh you still think you're bisexual. You know its an abomination, right? Not my words. You know how hot it is today? Imagine a lake of fire for eternity. Since you like both you need to stick with guys so God will forgive you. You should get a nice Christian husband and settle down. Just think what your (moms side) grandma would say about this." 
> 
> I started bawling in the car. It just hurts so damn much when someone uses someone you love against you because you know that they'd be disappointed in where you are now. I've just felt like shit all day so I tried my hand at fluff to make myself feel better.

Keith and Lance sit at the coffee shop together. Sipping their drinks.

"So,," Lance mutters.

"So."

"Uh you have any hobbies?"

"Well, I obviously clean my knives."

"Uh huh."

"You?"

"Well, taking care of Blue was really all I did."

"Oh."

"Yep."

The tension was thick. Lance bounces his leg, looking out the window at passing people.

"This is so awkward heh." Keith chuckles, scratching at the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's fine. So what type of music do you listen to?"

"Oh uh its really- don't laugh at me okay?"

"I won't, scouts honor." Keith smiles.

"Psh sure you were in scouts. Uh stuff like Shakira and Beyonce."

"Pfft- I'm sorry. Shakira? Beyonce?" Keith snorts.

"You said you wouldn't laugh!" Lance whines, cheeks flushing

"Sorry 'm sorry." Keith laughs.

God that laugh had Lance's stomach filling with butterflies.

"What music do you like?"

"Oh eh, The Honeysticks, Puma Blue, Radiohead, Panic, Daniel Caesar."

"I know one of those." Lance snorts.

"Hey its good music you goof."

"Mhm."

"Ill play some for you later." Keith smiles.

"Sounds good." Lance smiles.

"This is some good ass coffee."

"Yours is literally black coffee." Lance snorts.

"Yeah? Better than that sweet shit you got."

"Hey! Don't disrespect my cafe con leche!" Lance pouts

"Awe poor baby, can't handle black coffee~"

"You're so mean." Lance whines.

"Sorry sweetheart." Keith chuckles.

Sweetheart. Lance's brain short circuits. Cheeks flushing deep red.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"N-no."

"Hey, after this do you want me to walk you home?"

"I don't even know where I live." Lance laughs.

"Ah, right. Uh do you wanna come to my place and your brother can pick you up there?"

"Y-yeah sounds good."

They sit in the cafe for around 30 more minutes before they leave. The walk was nice, but hot.

Seeing Shiro's car gone, Keith grabs his key from his pocket and unlocks the door.

"You gonna play music for me?" Lance smiles.

"If you want me to."

"Course I do."

What Lance didn't expect was for Keith to pull out a guitar and start strumming to a song. His singing voice was ethereal as well.

"What- uh what song was that?"

"Want me, Puma Blue." Keith smiles.

"I didn't know you could play guitar or sing."

"Its not something I usually tell people or do for people." Keith shrugs.

"Then why me?"

"You're just special."

"Special?"

"Yeah."

Their expressions were incredibly soft. Both of them had heart eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

Lance chews on his bottom lip and scoots forward a bit. His knees touching Keith's.

"You- you are really pretty." Lance mutters.

"You're the one talking." Keith chuckles, leaning in.

"Shut up."

"Why don't you make me?"

Lance's cheeks flush as he leans in a bit.

Keith's bedroom door opening has them scurrying away from each other.

"Oh, did I interrupt something?" Shiro tries to hold back a laugh.

"Fuck off Shiro!" Keith shouts, cheeks bright red.

"Who's your friend?" Shiro chuckles.

"Its Lance." Keith sighs.

"Oh! Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Takashi Shirogane."

"Hi." Lance smiles, cheeks flushed.

"I'll let you two uh, get back to it." Shiro snorts, closing the door but leaving it cracked.

Keith groans and lays back, throwing a pillow over his face.   
Lance snorts and sighs.

"What's so funny?" Keith peeks from the pillow.

"Nothing." Lance snickers.

"I'll show you something funny." Keith chucks his pillow.

"And what's that?"

Keith chuckles and sits up, poking his fingers into Lance's stomach.

Lance erupts into laughter and kicks his legs.

"StOP!" Lance squeals, squirming around.

"Tell me what was funny and I will." Keith snorts.

"You! You're funny!" Lance shrieks.

"Stop lying." Keith laughs, stabbing his fingers into Lance's sides and hips.

"KeEEEITH!" Lance laughs harder.

"Hmm?"

"Please stop." Lance whines.

"Oh okay." Keith snorts, sitting back.

"You're mean." Lance pouts.

"Awe don't be like that."

"Fuck you." he huffs.

Keith laughs and sighs.

"I should call Marco."

"Alright." Keith huffs.

Lance grabs his phone and calls Marco. Waiting for him to answer.

_"Where the hell are you?!"_

"Lo siento, I'm at Keith's. Dysphoria got bad so I called him and he left with me."

_"Where's Keith's?"_

Lance looks to Keith.

"What's your address?"

"Lion's Den apartments, apartment 2A."

Lance repeats it to Marco and hangs up.

"So he coming to get you?"

"Yeah." Lance sighs.

"Aw I'm sorry, I wish I could hang out with you some more."

"Maybe tomorrow?" Lance tilts his head.

"Yeah, sounds good."

They both sit up, crossing their legs.

"Could you play another song?"

"Sure." Keith smiles, grabbing his guitar.

_"Hold me close and hold me fast_

_This magic spell you cast_

_This is la vie en rose_  
_When you kiss me, heaven sighs_  
_And though I close my eyes_

 _I see la vie en rose_  
_When you press me to your heart_  
_I am in a world apart_

 _A world where roses bloom_  
_And when you speak, angels sing from above_

 _Everyday words seem to turn into love songs_  
_Give your heart and soul to me_  
_And life will always be_  
_La vie en rose"_

Lance's heart melts at Keith's voice. Smooth and soft. Cracking on some notes.

"That was- Keith that was beautiful."

"That's something you have in common with it." Keith gives a lopsided smile.

Lance's cheeks light up like a Christmas tree. Bright red. He bites his bottom lip and fiddles with his fingers.

Keith's eyes flicker down to Lance's lips. He pushes his bangs out of his eyes and brushes them behind his ear.

Lance scoots forward a bit, knees touching to Keith's. His eyes hooded. He was definitely nervous, but he wanted this.

Keith sits there, looking from Lance's eyes to his lips.

Lance leans in, tilting his head to the side. Eyes flitting shut as he presses his lips to Keith's.

Keith's eyes widen before they shut, kissing back. Lance pulls away, slapping his hand over his mouth.

"Oh God- I'm sorry! I-I just-"

Keith moves Lance's hand, smiling.

"Its fine." Keith chuckles, leaning in. Waiting for Lance to meet him.

Lance cups Keith's face and kisses him. His lips were chapped but slightly soft. Tasted like the coffee they had earlier. He tangles his fingers into Keith's hair and whines when his phone rings.

Keith chuckles against Lance's lips and pulls away.

"You better answer that." Keith smiles.

"Yeah- yeah just- one more?"

Keith chuckles and presses his lips back to Lance's, hands resting on Lance's hips. He pulls away again.

Lance pouts and grabs his phone, answering it.

_"I'm outside the apartment building."_

"Ugh, okay. Be there in a minute." Lance quickly ends the call.

"So does this mean you,, like me too?" Keith whispers, hiding it from the world.

Lance nods.

"Yeah- yeah. Uhm, I-I gotta go."

"Alright, call me later, sweetheart." Keith drawls.

Lance's cheeks flush.

"Alright, babe."

Keith's cheeks flush too, he turns away. Hiding as much as his face as he can.

"Want me to walk you out so you don't have to deal with Shiro?"

"Sure."

Keith stands up and takes Lance's hand. Pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before he walks out of the room with Lance.

"Hey dorks you use protection?"

"We didn't-! Shiro!" Keith groans, cheeks flaming.

"I'm just joshing you. See you later Lance." Shiro smiles.

"Yeah, see ya." Lance smiles.

They head out of the apartment building.

"One more?" Keith asks.

"Please." Lance whispers, standing on his tip toes. Reaching to Keith's lips.

Keith smiles and pulls Lance in, hands resting on his lower back.   
Lance hums and cups Keith's face.

Marco honks. Lance pulls away, pouting.

"Call me." Keith smiles

"I will." Lance smiles, heading to Marco's car. He opens the door and sits in the passenger seat.

"Sooo when did that happen?"

"Shut up!" Lance squeaks, hitting Marco.

"Aw hermano I'm just teasing. You feel better?"

"Yeah. A lot better." Lance smiles, dopey and soft.  
  
  
  



	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of spice in this-   
> OwO but there's cuddles too! UwU  
> That physically pained me-

Lance had started testosterone in the next month. Lance and Keith had established their relationship and Hunk was thinking about visiting.

Keith and Lance were cuddling on Lance's bed. Drifting in and out of sleep. Keith pressing soft kisses to the nape of Lance's neck.

"Keeith." Lance whines.

"Hmm?"

"That tickles!"

"Oh does it?" Keith chuckles, the sound reverberating in his chest.

"Yeah!" Lance laughs.

Keith presses butterfly kisses from the base of Lance's neck to right under his hairline.

Lance's breath hitches and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.

"You okay?" Keith mutters against his neck.

Lance nods, not trusting himself to speak.

"We don't have to do anything y'know." Keith mutters.

"I know."

"Do- do you want to?"

"K-kinda? I dunno."

"Well we can try? And if you don't feel comfortable enough then we don't have to go any further."

Lance nods, turning around so he can face Keith.

"You're so damn handsome, you know that?" Keith smiles.

"Oh shut up." Lance snorts.

"Make- mmph!"

Lance presses his lips to Keith's, hands tangling into his hair.   
Keith groans and kisses back, hauling Lance over his lap. Lance was doing a lot better with physical contact ever since he and Keith started dating.

Lance pulls away, eyes half lidded.

"Fuck- Lance you're so-"

"Shut up." Lance laughs breathlessly.

"Nuh-uh not til I tell you how incredibly attractive you are. Damn, how'd I end up with a guy like you?" Keith chuckles.

"I should be asking that." Lance huffs.

Keith rolls his eyes, reaching up to kiss Lance.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please." Keith breathes, eyes hooded.

Lance smiles and kisses Keith, rocking his hips slightly. Keith gasps and groans, hands gripping Lance's hips.

Lance pulls away again, smirking.

"That your knife in your pocket or you just happy to see me?" Lance teases.

"Shut up." Keith whines.

"I'm just joking Keith." Lance smiles.

Keith huffs and pushes Lance off.

"Babe? Are you mad?"

"What? No. Lance I'm not mad you dummy." Keith laughs

"Oh."

"I dont wanna force you if you aren't ready."

"You aren't forcing me, Keith." Lance huffs.

"You could just be saying that."

"But I'm not! I'm comfortable to do these things with you because I know you won't hurt me." Lance smiles.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Keith. Ill tell you if I feel uncomfortable."

"Thank you." Keith breathes.

"Now~ where were we?"

Keith chuckles and presses his lips to Lance's jaw. Trails kisses down Lance's neck.

"Keith." Lance whispers.

"Hmm?" Keith hums against Lance's neck.

"Nothing- don't stop." Lance mutters.

Keith chuckles and nips at Lance's neck. Lance whines, lip drawn between his teeth.

Someone opens the door and Lance doesn't notice. Keening into the touch, soft gasps falling from his lips.

"Oh dear- I'm sorry." Calliope hides her eyes.

Lance's eyes widen, hitting Keith.

"Its okay! What do you need?"

"Just wanted to know if you two were hungry."

"We're good, thank you."

"Yep." the door creaks shut.

Keith laughs against Lance's neck.

"Its not funny." Lance pouts.

"Kinda is."

"Oh fuck you." Lance huffs, shoving Keith off.

"Awe don't be like that, sweetheart." Keith drawls, nuzzling in against Lance's neck.

"No- Keith, stop."

Keith pulls away.

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"

"I'm fine, we just got caught you ass."

"If you would've locked the door it wouldn't happen, love."

That nickname makes his blood turn cold. Lance pushes away from Keith and curls in on himself.

"Lance?" Keith mutters, placing a hand on Lance's back.

Lance flinches and scoots to the edge of the bed.

"Lance- I'm sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean to upset you."

Lance sobs and pulls at his hair.

"Lance- Lance, its just me. Fuck. Lance, please. I'm sorry." Keith pulls Lance into his arms. He hums and plays with Lance's hair.

Lance's eyes widen, tears falling down his cheeks.

"K-keith- I'm sorry-" Lance hiccups

"Don't you apologize!" Keith sobs, clutching Lance.

"You- you're crying?"

"Hell yeah I'm crying! I'm no better than Lotor with that shit!" Keith sniffles.

"Don't even fucking say that." Lance huffs, wiping at his own tears. He kisses away Keith's tears.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Keith mumbles, fingers running through Lance's hair.

"I might be better if you sing for me." Lance smiles.

Keith groans and smiles.

"Fine." he snorts and complies. Singing quietly to Lance.

"You are wonderful. I don't deserve you." Lance mutters, yawning.

"I should get home."

"Stay?"

"Alright." Keith hums, the two of them laying down.

"You should tell Shiro so he doesn't get worried." Lance mumbles, curling up to Keith.

"I will." Keith smiles, pressing a kiss to Lance's hair.

They both end up falling asleep, Keith forgetting to call Shiro. They wake up in the morning, Keith's phone had at least 100 missed calls.

"Shit." Keith hisses, calling Shiro back.

_"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!"_

"Lance's, I was gonna-"

_"Keith I don't care what the hell you were gonna do. I thought you were dead! Or kidnapped!"_

"We know I can-"

_"SHUT UP KEITH. I'm picking you up right now. You're fucking grounded. No phone, no computer. To school and back."_

"Shiro!"

 _"No, shut it."_ Shiro hangs up.

Keith groans, shoving his face in the crook of Lance's neck.

"What'd he say?"

"I'm grounded." Keith mumbles.

"What?!"

"No laptop no phone. Just school and back."

"I'm sorry." Lance mutters.

"Not your fault."

"I asked you to stay."

"And I could've left, but I didn't."

"Hmph."

"What?"

Lance pouts and crosses his arms.

"What, Lance?"

"Make it up to me when you get ungrounded."

"I will." Keith smiles, kisses Lance's jaw.

"Mm really?"

"Mhm, I'll take you out for coffee and serenade you and buy you roses- ow!"

"Shut up you nerd. We both know you won't do that."

"I might." Keith chuckles, kissing down Lance's neck, nipping at it.

Lance gasps and pinches Keith.

"Stop pinching me!" Keith whines.

"Don't bite me!" Lance huffs.

"Seemed to like it last night." Keith chuckles.

"Oh shut up! Calliope probably told Marco and now we'll have to keep my door open."

"I didn't hear denial?"

"S-shut up Keith!" Lance whines, cheeks flushed.

"I'm right here why don't you make me?"

"Because you sir are getting a call from your brother." Lance smiles.

"Shit." Keith picks his phone up and answers.

_"I'm outside. We'll talk about how long this will last when we get home."_

"Yeah." Keith grumbles, hanging up.

"Now can I have a- mmph!" Lance is interrupted when Keith kisses him. Pulling away a minute later.

"That what you wanted?"

Lance hadn't noticed but Keith's voice was sorta gruff and groggy in the morning. It sent chills down his spine.

"Y-yeah." He squeaks.

"Cool. Wanna walk me out? Or do I get to awkwardly walk past your brother?"

"He's at work. Now, Calliope on the other hand I dunno where she is."

"Come on I wanna spend more time with you."

"Mm fine." Lance sighs, getting out of the bed. He yawns and stretches, arms above his head. His shirt riding up.

Keith stands up too, slipping his shoes on.

"I can't believe you slept in those."

"In my jeans?"

"In your gloves."

"They're my skin fuck you." Keith laughs, picking Lance up. He jabs his fingers into his sides.

Lance laughs, kicking at Keith.

"Put me down!" Lance squeals.

"Nope! You're coming with me." Keith laughs, taking Lance out of the room.

"If I give you a kiss will you put me down?"

"Mm maybe."

Lance huffs, pressing his lips to Keith's. Their lips slotting together like two puzzle pieces. Soft and gentle.

Someone clears their throat. Lance pulls away and Keith lets Lance drop from his hold.

"Keith, I believe you were leaving?" Marco sighs, arms crossed over his chest.

"Oh- uh yeah yeah. Bye Lance. Bye Marco." 

"Bye." Lance smiles, pressing a small kiss to Keith's cheek.

Keith takes his leave and heads out.

"We need to talk." Marco sits Lance on the couch.

"Look I know what its about we didn't go any further than that."

"Zip it. Are you even comfortable with it? Are you ready for those types of things? Do you understand the risk? You've still got all the reproduction parts, you can't rush into things like that without protection or anything, hermano. You've got to be prepared. Is he forcing you into these things?"

"He's not forcing me! We are two consenting teens that know what risks there are! We aren't having sex! Not while I look like this! I can't even stand to look at my own body let alone someone else!" Lance huffs.

"I know, but you're at that age where everyone is doing it. Believe me, I was in your situation. In a relationship, your age. My boyfriend and I had a scare."

"Wait- you dated a guy? And a trans guy at that?"

"Yes, Lance. Jeez your gaydar broken?" Marco laughs.

"Oh shut up." Lance snorts.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"Cafe con leche and toast?"

"Right up. Calliope had to take her cat to the vet."

"Awe, why?"

"Its sick."

"Oh no."

"So if she comes back without it, don't say anything. I'll handle her." Marco smiles.

"Alright."

"You just sit here and watch tv, okay?"

"Okay."  
  
  
  
  
  



	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of implied uhh blowjobs at the end oof

Keith got grounded for 2 weeks. He couldn't do anything. Complete boredom.

"Shiro."

"Keith for the last time, no. Stop asking."

"I can't even have Pidge over?"

"No."

"Wow a couple missed fucking call and I get 2 weeks in the house. 2 weeks of not talking to my friends or my fucking boyfriend outside of school. Way to help someone's mental health asshole." Keith seethes, rushing to his room.

 

The two weeks pass agonisingly slow. Keith going to school drained. Soft kisses in the hallways when he and Lance can. Hushed conversations in the cafeteria.

"Shiro overreacted." Pidge sighs.

"He always does, Pidge!" Keith groans.

"Yeah, I know. Matt is still upset."

"What? Why?"

"Shiro broke up with him and Allura."

"Holy shit, why?"

"Because he apparently thinks Matt and Allura are too immature for him."

"That's bull! He loved them through and through!"

"Yeah. So where's Lance?"

"He's at therapy."

"So a month and a week?"

"Yep."

"Bet you can't wait til his voice gets all nice and his jaw line gets more defined." Pidge teases.

"Oh shut up." Keith huffs, cheeks flushed.

"Awe Keithy loves his boyfriend~" Pidge coos.

"Pidge I'm gonna beat your ass."

"Oooh I'm so scared." Pidge snorts.

"Should be."

The end of the school day Keith goes back home. Immediately going to his room. Laying down in his bed. Not touching his homework.

Three knocks on his bedroom door before it opens. Shiro standing there, leaning against the doorframe

"You here to extend my punishment?"

"No, I'm here to tell you that its up. You had a point about keeping you locked in here. Its not good for you."

"Really?"

"Yes, Keith. Here's your phone and laptop back." Shiro sighs, stepping in the room. He sets Keith's things on the dresser.

Keith stands up and grabs his phone, sitting back down

_> >>Lance>>>_

**K:** you out of therapy?

 **L:** KEITH!!  
hi! yes i'm out!!

 **K:** meet me at the cafe  
see you there sharpshooter

 **L:** be there in 10 <3

Keith smiles and grabs his wallet.

"I'm going to the cafe. Ill call you when I'm on my way back."

"Call me if you stay the night at Lance's again."

"Will do." Keith smiles, pushing past Shiro. He rushes out of the apartment building.

Literally running to the cafe. He waits outside of it, panting. Why the hell did he run?

He hears a familiar laugh from beside him. His eyes flitting over to the sound.

"Lance!" Keith smiles, throwing his arms around him.

"Hey!" Lance laughs, a big smile on his face.

"I missed you." Keith huffs.

"I missed you too, now can you stop hugging me so we can get coffee?"

Keith huffs and reluctantly pulls away.

"You just wanna get coffee to go and then come to my place?" Lance smiles.

"Oh- uh sure. I'll text Shiro so he doesn't freak out." Keith smiles, shooting a quick text to Shiro.

They go in and get their coffee and a few pastries before they head to Lance's.

"So, how was it?" Keith asks, hand intertwined with Lance's.

"Therapy? It was good. We talked about my dysphoria and just hung out I guess?"

"So your therapist is nice?"

"Yeah, she's really chill."

"Well that's good."

"Mhm, Calliope and Marco went out for a fancy dinner with their friends from school."

"Am I even allowed over there without an adult there. Y'know after last time?"

"Course you are. Marco trusts us. I didn't know that he was pan, it was kinda shocking. He and an ex boyfriend had a pregnancy scare once and that's why he was so worried with us doing that. Well and the whole L- I can't even say his fucking name, that whole thing. He wanted to make sure you weren't forcing me."

"That must've been a awkward conversation."

"Yeah." Lance chuckles.

"It's so nice to be able to hang out with you." Keith mutters.

"Yeah when we get to my place it'll be nice. Its way too hot out here."

"Just a bit longer." Keith smiles.

When they get to Lance's apartment they head into Lance's room.

"Where's the cat?"

"Calliope had to get her put down. She was getting real sick."

"Awe. I was attached to that cat."

"From the few times you've come over?" Lance chuckles.

"Oh shut up." Keith huffs and lays on Lance's bed. His coffee had been sat on the dresser. He closes his eyes and sighs.

Lance sets his coffee and the bag of pastries on the dresser. He sits on Keith's thighs and smiles.

"Comfy?" Keith smiles.

"Mhm."

"How long you had your binder on?"

"I didn't wear it to my appointment, just put it on before I came to see you."

"That's good cause if you would've put it on this mornin' you'd be over 8 hours."

"I know, I'm not stupid."

"I know you aren't." Keith cracks his eyes open, hands crossed under his head like a makeshift pillow.

"Do I get a kiss?" Lance tilts his head.

"I dunno, do you deserve one?"

"I think I do." Lance huffs, leaning down.

Keith chuckles and meets him halfway. Moving his hands from under his head, cupping Lance's face.

Lips melding together, Lance's hands resting on Keith's shoulders.

"Keith- Keith I love you." Lance whispers against Keith's lips.

"I-I- I love you too, Lance." Keith smiles. He wasn't good with these types of things, but he knew what he felt for Lance was stronger than a simple liking. He was certain he loved Lance despite having nothing to base the feeling off of.

It was sort of what he felt with Lotor, but stronger. A sense of need. A sense of wanting to protect Lance. A sense of worry for him.

Keith never knew exactly what love was. He didn't understand it. He's loved before, brotherly love for Shiro. Motherly love with one of his foster mothers. Slight romantic love with Lotor.

Lance kisses down Keith's jaw. Shy and soft, barely there kisses down his neck. Keith's breath hitching.

"Lance?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing- keep going." Keith mutters, cheeks flushed.

"You sure?"

"If you are, yes."

Lance smiles and pulls away, hands tugging at the bottom of Keith's shirt.

"Go ahead." Keith smiles.

Lance pulls Keith's shirt up, throwing it to the side. He scoots down, presses kisses down Keith's chest.

"Lance-"

"What babe?"

"Are- are you sure?"

"Sure about what?"

"What you're doing."

"Yes, Keith." Lance huffs, hands resting on the button of Keith's jeans.

"Don't force yourse-"

"I'm not forcing myself! Keith, last time you were here you went to sleep uncomfortable in your jeans because of me. I'm not letting you go home like that too. Unless you don't want me."

"I want you Lance, I do. Just- I don't want you forcing yourself. I want you to do this in your own time. We never have to even go past hugging if you don't want to. I know we've already kissed and what not, but I don't want you forcing yourself to do these things. I care about you and I don't ever want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I'm comfortable, Keith. I'd tell you if I weren't. I love you and I want to do this for you."

"Then be my guest." Keith smiles.

Lance smiles and unbuttons Keith's jeans, pulling them down. Keith lifts his ass up to help Lance pull them down.

"If it totally sucks don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, even if you do give me a sloppy blow job."

Lance laughs and pulls Keith's boxers off.

"And let the fun begin." Lance snorts.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay,, first day of school was wild,,  
> Dude juuled in algebra.   
> Trans dude that worked or whatever in the school bank told me about my guidance counsellors gsa/equality club even tho I already knew,, do i give off gay vibes?? I mean,, im bi but like,, dude took one look at me and was like "lmao they're defo queer" ksjrjsjs  
> Anywho,, I have no friends  
> Talked to someone that has a shrek stick and poke and i wanna be their friend but idk how to do that,,  
> Uhh I went to the wrong 7th period class. 110 instead of 210 ahahah  
> Had to transfer busses like,, 5 times,,  
> God school took all the energy that I didn't fucking have out of me,, I'm so exhausted and its like,,, only a few hours. There's way too many people so I'm on a verge of a panic attack 24/7 now

Marco and Calliope came home soon after that. Keith and Lance curled up to each other and watching a movie on Netflix.

"Why were you so nervous." Keith snorts.

"Which time? When I was sucking your dick or the time my brother nearly walked in while you were tucking yourself back into your pants? Hmm or maybe the time I had cum on my face and couldn't fucking get it off." Lance huffs, crossing his arms.

"Don't be like that." Keith mutters, kissing the nape of Lance's neck.

"Be like what?"

"All pouty and grumpy." Keith smiles.

"Im not." Lance mumbles.

"If I looked at your face right now, you wouldn't be pouting?"

",,,no."

Keith rolls his eyes and chuckles. He leans over Lance and smiles.

"Hi."

Lance's pout doesn't last long, a small smile forming.

"Hi."

"Mind if I steal a kiss?"

"Don't mind at all."

"Cool." Keith presses his lips to Lance's. It was an awkward angle, Keith's neck beginning to hurt. He pulls away and huffs.

"Awe what's wrong?"

"That angle is weird, hurts my neck."

"Then why don't I just roll over?"

"I dunno why don't you?" Keith snorts.

"Rude." Lance huffs and rolls over, pressing a kiss to Keith's jaw.

"Wh- hold on, Shiro is probably calling." Keith sighs, grabbing his phone.

_"Make sure you come home before dark."_

"That's in like,, 30 minutes."

_"Guess you better get walking."_

Keith gawks at the ended call screen.

_> >>_ _Shiro_ _> >>_

**S:** just kidding  
but seriously ill be there in an hour

 **K:** you're an ass

"What'd he say?"

"Tried to tell me to start walking now."

"What the fuck?"

"He'll be here in an hour though."

"What should we do for an hour? We already finished Cars 3."

"Watch another movie?"

"Coraline?"

"Hell yes." Keith smiles.

Lance ends up falling asleep halfway through. Arms wrapped tight around Keith, face shoved into his chest.

"Lance, hey. You gotta wake up." Keith shakes him.

"No." Lance grumbles.

"You still have your binder on, Lance. Cmon get up." Lance groans and sits up, shucking his shirt and binder off without thinking.

"Lance!"

"What?" Lance whines.

"You cant- you can't just take your shirt off in front of me!"

"Why not?"

Keith huffs and closes his eyes.

"Cause I have breasts? Big whoop I'm still a guy, now stop being a pussy and let me sleep."

Lance was grumpy, he flops back down and pulls the blanket over his body. Keith's phone buzzes.

_> >>_ _Shiro_ _> >>_

**S:** im outside

 **K:** give me a minute  
lance fell asleep on me

 **S:** cute

"Lance, Shiro's here. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Okay mamà te amo."

Lance was talking in his sleep.

Keith snorts and presses a kiss to Lance's forehead. Slipping out of the bed, he puts his shoes on.

"Bye Keith." Marco smiles.

"Bye." Keith waves, exiting the apartment.

He clambers into Shiro's car and slams the door.

"So how was your day?"

"Wonderful." Keith smiles.

"Sarcasm or was it actually amazing?"

"It was. Any day with Lance is perfect."

"Awee."

"Shut up."

"You're so mean to your big brother." Shiro huffs.

"Maybe if you weren't an ass that wouldn't happen."

"I'm offended." Shiro gasps, throwing his hands to his heart.

"PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS ON THE WHEEL 10 AND 2 10 AND 2."

"Oh stop being such a pussy, Keith we aren't gonna- woAH." Shiro swerves to the side just to freak Keith out.

"I swEAR TO GOD IM GONNA KILL YOU!" Keith screams.

"OOOH sO SCARY A LITTLE TWINK WITH A MALARIA KNIFE." Shiro shouts, laughing.

Keith grabs his knife and put it up to Shiro's neck.

"I'll kill you right here."

"OWO KEITH WHATS THIS?"

"NO NO NO."

"Does the wittle kitty twink have a knwife?"

"Oh MY GOD THIS HOUSE IS A HELL HOLE!"

"But keef thwis is a caww!"

"IM GONNA JUMP!"

"Keith don't you fucking think about it."

"Sorry I don't speak that."

"Keith if you I'm gonna let you jump outta this car then you're darn tootin' wrong." Shiro says in the most country accent he can muster.

"Good. I speak yeehaw. You have won me over." Keith slips his knife back into his fucking fanny pack and takes his hand off the door handle.

Shiro snorts and rolls his eyes.  
They get home safely despite Shiro's antics to kill them. Keith immediately texts Pidge to come over which results in his door being kicked in

"YOU GOT UNGROUNDED AND WENT OVER TO LANCE'S AND DIDN'T TELL ME??"

",,yes??"

"YOURE SUCH A DICK MUNCH!"

"Actually that's Lance." Keith snorts.

"Wait- wHAT??"

"I've said too much, good night."

"KEITH DID LANCE SUCK YOUR DICK??"

"NO."

"Who's sucking Keith's dick?" Shiro asks from the doorway.

"NO ONE" Keith screeches, cheeks flushed.

"OoH KEITH'S LYING!" Pidge laughs.

"SHUT UP MY GOD!" Keith huffs.

"I'M GONNA TELL HUNK YOU GOT YOUR DICK SUCKED!"

"I DIDNT GET MY FUCKING DICK SUCKED SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FUCKING GREMLIN. BREATHE A WORD OF ANY OF THIS TO ANYONE AND ILL SPLICE YOUR TENDONS." Keith growls, shoving Pidge out of his room.

He slams his door and locks it, collapsing onto his bed.

Lance wakes up panting, skin soaked in sweat. Tears streaming down his cheeks. Throat raw like he swallowed a pack of razor blades.

Scratching at his shoulders he realizes his shirt and binder are off. His eyes widen, when did he take them off? He throws the blankets off, signing in relief when he sees his jeans.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** when did my binder come off?

 **K:** i uh i woke you up   
and told you that you needed to take it off  
so you did,,  
right in front of me  
i didn't look or anything if you're worried about that.

 **L:** no its fine  
so,,  
earlier, was it actually good?

 **K:** yes  
lance you're the first  
i didn't even do those things with lotor  
no matter how hard he tried to get me to  
i saved myself for someone special  
guess i finally found that person

 **L:** you cheesy motherfucker  
i knew you were secretly a closeted hopeless romantic

 **K:** awe you caught me babe

 **L:** knew it from the beginning red

 **K:** damn  
you got a super sniffer   
for hopeless romantics huh?

 **L:** damn right,,  
after i put a shirt on do you wanna call?

 **K:** course babe

 **L:** cool

Lance grabs an oversized t-shirt and slips it on over his head before starting a call with Keith.

"Hey Lance, you hungry?" Calliope asks from outside the door.

"Uh, yeah. Anything is fine."

"Okay, Marco and I are gonna go get something from McDonalds because we're exhausted and don't wanna cook."

"Fine by me. Marco knows what I like."

"Alright."

_"Hey."_

"Hi." Lance smiles.

 _"How'd I get stuck with someone so unbelievably adorable?"_ Keith smiles.

"Dunno Red." Lance chuckles.

_"Narcissist."_

"If you looked like me you'd be a narcissist too."

_"Mhm sure sweetheart."_

"Whatever." Lance snorts, rolling his eyes.

_"I miss you already."_

"You'll see me tomorrow. It's Saturday,, coffee? I'll pay."

_"Yeah, sounds good, but you're not paying."_

"I'll do whatever I want, fuck you."

_"Heh, that an invitation?"_

Lance chokes and his eyes widen. Hands beginning to shake.

"Don't- don't ever say that again- please." Lance whimpers.

_"Shit,, I'm sorry Lance."_

"Its fine you didn't know. You didn't know it's okay."

 _"Still can be sorry."_ Keith yawns, shoving his face into his pillow.

"Sleep babe, I don't wanna keep you up."

 _"No no its fine. I like talking to you."_ Keith mutters.

"Sweet."

_"You're sweet. Taste like sugar and honey. Like those sugar scrub things for your lips. You use those?"_

"I used to."

_"_ _Nm_ _well you taste like 'em."_

"Oh really?"

_"_ _Mhm_ _and you smell good. Can't wait til your start to grow stubble so I can scrunch your cheeks and feel the stubbly feel."_

Lance snorts and smiles.

"You should sleep."

_"No! I wanna-_ _mmm_ _I wanna stay up with you."_

"You're tired though, we'll both sleep. Cmon."

_"Sing to me."_

"Keith- I can't sing."

_"Course you can cmon."_

"Fine."

 _"There's no thoughts on my mind_  
_9 P.M. Eastern Standard Time_  
_Watch the curtains, hear the wind moan_  
_Keep on looking at the telephone_  
_Choking, hoping that you called_  
_Cause it's too quiet in my home_

 _It's time to get home_  
_I've been looking for your hand to hold_  
_You know everything I know_  
_You know everything I know_  
_We both are Florida born_  
_I don't know if it's just chemicals_  
_But the water never left my soul_  
_I still hear it when I'm all alone_  
_I'm alone_

 _I am your moon, you are my sun_  
_I am your ocean crashed down with love_

 _Don't know if it's chemicals_  
_But your voice it doesn't leave my bones_  
_Highly incompatible, I know that for sure_  
_I'm just looking for your hands to hold_  
_Cause this room it's grown too cold_

 _This room's too cold when I'm alone_  
_I miss our home, it's too quiet in my skull_  
_When I'm alone it's too quiet in my skull_  
_Cause I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_Cause I am your ocean_  
_I am your ocean_  
_I am yours..."_

Lance's voice was soft and quiet. Full of emotion, lulling Keith to sleep.

"Buenas noches te amo, mi amor." Lance whispers.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I made a friend?? Idk tho.  
> That dude that came to sit at my lunch table did again and told me once again that I should eat. Then we talked about classes and what career path I'm taking. When I told him I'd be okay without eating he said "I call total bullshit on that" and it made me laugh and made me happy. Sadly, he's a senior so that fucking sucks ass.

Lance felt like shit when he woke up. Freezing, stomach turning, head throbbing. He rushes out of bed and to the bathroom, sliding down onto his knees. He lets the bile rush from his throat and into the toilet, coughing and retching.

"Lance? Sweetie, you okay?" Calliope asks from the hallway.

Lance responds with emptying his stomach. Heaving and panting. Skin pale and sweaty.

"Cal' can you get pregnant from sucking dick?" Lance asks, face miserable.

Calliope laughs, slapping her hand over her mouth. Laughing harder.

"Pfft- no sweetie. You can't get pregnant from that."

Lance sighs in relief before bile rushes up his throat again. Spilling into the toilet. He groans and pants.

"I was s'posed to go get coffee with Keith." Lance whines, slapping his hand down on the flush handle. He cups his face and stands up on shaky legs.

He quickly washes his hands and wait for Calliope to move so he can exit the bathroom.

"Well, you're sick and can't. So go ahead and-" and knock interrupts her. She clicks her tongue and heads to the front door, opening it.

"Is Lance here?"

"Course he is, he's sick though."

"That's fine, I can take care of him if you'd like?"

"Well, I don't wanna be responsible for you getting sick too sweetheart." Calliope mutters, she hums and thinks.

"I'll be fine, I can take care of myself. Really, just let me do this for him."

"Oh alright, just no swappin' spit, okay?"

"Yes ma'am." Keith smiles.

"Oh and Keith?" Calliope leans in.

"Huh?"

"Keep your dick in your pants." she whispers, low and threatening.

Keith squeaks, cheeks flushing.

"Y-Yes ma'am."

"Good. Now, I'm gonna go get some medicine and some sprite, y'all just sit tight."

"Hehe you have a country accent." Lance snickers.

"Hush, go lay down." Calliope tuts, grabbing her keys.

Keith presses a kiss to Lance's head and takes him to his room.

"Stronk boye." Lance smiles.

Lance was a weird type of sick person. He would feel horrible and his fevers would have him borderline delirious. He'd say anything that came to mind.

Keith snorts and crawls into bed with Lance. Wrapping the blanket around the both of them.

"You've- mm you've got a nice chest. It's nice and hard and I can feel your heartbeat. Its a nice- nice one." Lance mumbles, yawning.

"Mkay babe." Keith smiles, playing with Lance's sweaty hair.

"You think Hunk is actually coming to visit?"

"He said he would in the fall, that's a bit away."

"Keith- Keith, I thought- I thought I was pregnant." Lance snorts.

"What?"

"I thought I got pregnant from- pfft from sucking your dick." Lance laughs.

"You're so stupid." Keith laughs.

"Buenas noches mi amor. Mn te amo." Lance mumbles, curled right up to Keith's chest. He basically passes out.

Keith squints, what in the hell did that mean? Maybe Calliope or Marco could help. Well, Marco wasn't there. Nor was Calliope, but she'd be back.

So until then Keith was stuck, wracking his brain. Until it hit him, just ask Pidge or Hunk. So he pulls his phone out and pulls up Pidge's contact.

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**K:** translate something for me

 **P:** why

 **K:** lance said something in Spanish before he passed out on me

 **P:** uh,, okay  
send it?

 **K:** buenas noches mi amor te amo?

 **P:**...  
...  
...  
oh my god

 **K:** what?  
is it something bad?  
oh my god he's dying isn't he?  
piDGE WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

 **P:** goodnight my love. i love you.

 **K:** oh my god.  
HES SO CUTE????   
ew nvm he's fuckin drooling on my chest

Keith's cheeks were flushed, Lance really did love him. Keith smiles, he thinks he loves him too. A lot.

Lance made Keith's heart race, at first he declared it hate. Only because he didn't want to admit the truth. Now that he had Lance, he could just scream it from the rooftops. He could imagine it

"IM KEITH GERALD KOGANE AND I LOVE LANCE CHARLES MCCLAIN. HE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I WANT TO PROTECT HIM FROM EVERYTHING BAD."

Lance was beautiful to Keith. Lance was the sun setting over the water. Lance was a hazy sunrise. Lance was the rain.

All these things being something Keith finds beautiful. Lance surpassed all of them. His eyes bright like stars, smile like the sun, skin smackled with freckles, soft hair, amazing lips.

Keith knew Lance would look even better with Testosterone. He knew Lance would feel better as well. He knew that Lance would start to feel more comfortable with himself and that made him happy.

All he wanted for Lance was for him to be happy. Happy with himself for starters. He wanted to see Lance smile wide with scars where his breasts once were, shirtless on the beach. Shooting finger guns and showing off his 'muscles'

He wanted to see Lance happy in his own skin. All he needed to do was stick around unlike his parents and that would all come true. He wanted to see Lance grow as a person and turn into the person he always has been.

Be the person trapped underneath all the insecurities and 'flaws'. To be the person trapped underneath all that female anatomy. Lance was a male, through and through.

Anyone who didn't think that, would definitely answer to Keith. Or Lance because he can defend himself. Lance was the love of Keith's life.

He didn't know how to handle it all. He couldn't handle losing Lance if it came to it. His heart begins to ache just thinking about it. Leaving. He never liked that word.

What if they didn't come back? What if they decided to abandon him in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. He was beyond terrified thinking about someone else leaving him.

Keith had a lot of trust issues due to his family. Sure, his father died, but his mom just up and left. Her brother Kolivan being the only ties possible.

Keith would find her one day. He was determined to. Determined to know his mother and find out exactly why she left him and his father to fend for themselves in the desert.

But for now, he'd focus on the present. Focus on the soft snoring coming from his boyfriend. Focus on the drool wetting his shirt. Focus on the arms wrapped around his waist. Focus on the head tucked right under his chin.

He'd focus on what mattered most. Lance. The only person besides Pidge and Shiro who have stuck by him and showed that he cared.   
  



	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't go to school today and I'm sad bc I didn't get to talk to my dude at lunch. I just felt so sick this morning and now I feel sick again and my mom is in pain from a headache and she's nervous about it bc her migraines have never been this bad and this constant.   
> Uhhh I'm so emotionally and physically drained its horrible.

Lance's second month on testosterone. His voice had deepened a bit, he had started to grow a bit of facial hair, and his eyebrows darkened. Stomach hair got thicker and his jaw line got a bit sharper.

He got a bit more confident with himself, but not much. No changes in his sex drive.

Lance gets out of bed, it felt like there were two weights on his chest. Just dangling. He rubs at his face and sighs.

"Keith is in the living room." Marco mutters.

"Why?"

"Wanted to see you." Marco shrugs.

"Tell him to give me a minute, I need to change and do my shot." Lance mumbles.

"Alright." Marco closes the door behind him.

What time was it? Lance looks at his phone, 1pm. He blinks and gawks at the time. Shaking his head, he stands up and strips from his shirt and boxers.

He grabs his binder and a new pair of boxers and slips into them. Too lazy to actually put on a shirt or pants, he walks out of his room and across the hall to the bathroom.

He opens the medicine cabinet, pulling a packaged needle and a container of testosterone out. He closes the cabinet and heads back to his room, scratching the back of his neck.

He nearly drops his things when he sees Keith sitting on his bed.

"I told Marco to tell you to wait."

"Im sorry, I just miss you."

"Keith, mi amor, you saw me yesterday at school."

"Yeah but I miss you." Keith pouts.

Lance sighs and sits on the bed, taking the needle from its packaging. He stabs it into the bottle and pulls the needles plunger. Filling it to his dosage.

"What's that?"

"Testosterone." Lance mumbles, putting the bottle to the side. He pushes the needle into his thigh, not reacting to it. He pushes the plunger down and then pulls the needle out.

"How did you not freak out?!" Keith gasps

"Cause it doesn't hurt."

"You are a liar."

"Yeah and you're a pussy."

"Yeesh why are you so moody."

"Possibly because I'm bleeding?? I mean that's one reason. The other being you won't get the fuck out of my ass all day ever day. Is there ever any privacy I can get? Like Jesus fucking Christ." Lance growls, grabbing the needle and its packing, he throws it in a tin.

"I-I'm sorry. I'll- I'll go." Keith mutters, standing up.

"Cool." Lance huffs, laying on his bed.

Keith sighs and exits the room, leaving the apartment.   
When he gets home he heads to Pidge's.

"Pidge, am I a bad boyfriend?"

"Uh,, no?"

"Lance yelled at me because I apparently won't leave him alone."

"Well, you are with him all the time." Pidge shrugs.

"Should- should I give him space?"

"I-i yeah? I don't know, Keith. I've never been in a relationship nor will I ever be in one. Why ask the ace person?"

"I don't know." Keith groans.

"Its cause I'm the only sane one isn't it?"

"Possibly? Are you even sane, you're always borderline sleep deprived."

"Nah, I'm fine man. 3 hours of sleep is good for me."

"3 hours of sleep is horrible."

"And that's why there's espressos with monster and 5 hour energy."

"You're gonna have a heart attack at 17."

"That's my goal, Kogane. That's my goal." Pidge laughs.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go home and brood."

"Okay, come back if you need anything. I'm working on making a new leg for a kitten my dad stole from his work."

"Getting tips from Hunk?"

"Yeah, he's the engineer and I'm just some tech junky, I hope it works."

"Hope it goes good, see ya."

"Bye Texas Kogane."

"That's my dad."

"Bye Texas Kogane Jr." Pidge snorts.

"Bye Samuel Holt Jr." Keith snickers.

"Oh har har."

Keith heads out of the Holt household, fist bumping Matt on his way out. He trudges home and swings open the door.

"Hey Keith."

"Yo."

"You're back early."

"I'm too clingy." Keith shrugs, shuffling to his room. He face plants on his bed and throws the blanket over his body.

"You gonna be okay while I'm at work?" Shiro says from the doorway of Keith's bedroom.

"Yeah, I'll invite Pidge over or Matt. Or the both of them." Keith mumbles.

"Okay, be safe. Did you take your meds this morning."

"Sure."

"Keith, you need to stay on them."

"I'm fine, I haven't been taking them for 2 months and look, I'm happy. I'm not sleeping for hours at a time. C'mon, Shiro, face it medicines won't help."

Shiro sighs and rubs his face, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Whatever, Keith. Don't improve, fine by me. Suffer in your own puddle of self pity and despair."

"Learned it from you and dad."

"Don't bring your dad into this, Keith."

"Y'know, he was so damn desperate to get out of this shitty world he went back into that burning house and saved some bullshit kid over taking care of his own."

"Keith, your father has nothing to do with this."

"Oh, but doesn't he? You bring him up all the fucking time. What would your dad say? What would your dad do? He wouldn't do shit, because face it, he didn't give a single fuck about me. He didn't even care about you." Keith seethes.

"Stop, Keith."

"No! Face the fucking facts Takashi, then come talk to me about doing the right fucking thing." Keith grumbles, shoving his head under his pillow.

Shiro slams Keith's bedroom door and grabs his bag, rushing out of the house and to his car.

  
Lance was writhing in pain on his bed. Clutching at his abdomen, sobbing into a pillow. He nearly screams when a new spike of pain shoots through his stomach and back.

"Lance? Sweetie, is there anything I can-"

"Get out!" Lance shouts through tears, vision blurry. Snot running down his face, mingling with tears.

He pants when the pain eases up, chest heaving before it spikes back up. He screams and whimpers. His period was light but his cramps were horrible.   
It felt like thousands of knives stabbing into him every second.

When his phone begins ringing he throws it onto the floor and groans. Turning over to face the wall. He shoves a pillow between his legs, one behind his back, and one near his stomach. He pulls his blankets over his head and whines.

He wanted to die in that very moment. It all was very clear to him what he was born as and he hated it. Why couldn't he have just been who he was underneath all of this.

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anGST

_> >>Keith>>>_

**L:** hey  
im sorry about yesterday,,  
i ended up having to go to the hospital  
cramps got so bad i was screaming

No response.

Lance sighs and sets his phone to the side.

"You feeling better today?" Marco asks.

"Yeah. I think I may have fucked things up with Keith."

"How so?"

"I- I told him he was being too clingy yesterday and that he never gives me any privacy. Told him he was a reason I was mad."

"Did you message him? Tell him you're sorry?"

"I just did. He hasn't replied."

"Maybe he's busy?"

"I dunno. He usually texts back immediately." Lance sighs.

"Dont think about it too much."

"Okay." Lance mutters.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**L:** jfc this chat is dead

 **H:** true  
its near testing time   
so understandable

 **P:** ,,,  
testing?   
hunk   
testing for us has already passed skdjjsjdjdj

 **H:** oh?

 **L:** well, flight simulations have passed

 **P:** yeah  
you failed  
horribly

 **L:** shut up  
im new to this shit

 **H:** where's keith?

 **P:** beats me  
he hasn't talked to me since yesterday

 **L:** ,,,  
same

 **H:** oh?

 **L:** we  
we kinda got into a fight?  
more so me being an ass than anything else

 **H:** what happened?

 **P:** he told keith he's too clingy

 **L:** in my defense im moody   
and hate life rn

 **H:** you still shouldn't have said that

 **L:** i know  
i tried to apologise but he hasn't looked at my message  
or reply

 **H:** oof  
show up to his place?

 **P:** idk if that's a good idea  
he and shiro apparently got into it last night  
told shiro that his dad (shiros family friend?) never cared about either of them,,  
i shouldn't be telling you guys this  
deleting chat history hold on

 **L:** what  
pidge you can't just tell us shit and then not tell the rest

 **P:** yes i can  
you can ask keith on your own about his family

 **L:** i can't when he's ignoring me

 **P:** hes probably brooding in his room  
if you wanna get stabbed you can go  
but if not then i suggest staying home

 **L:** already being betrayed by my own bodu  
not like itd hurt me  
/sad dab/

 **H:** wkrjisisuha   
no

 **L:** yes  
any who  
talk to y'all later ig

 **P:** y a l l

 **H:** y'all

 **L:** shut up

 **P:** hes definitely been spending too much time with keith

 **L:** bye i can't see these texts through my tears lmao  
watch me run into a car

 **H:** makdkkasmn nO

 **L:** yes  
pls  
its better than bleeding

 **H:** wHAT YOU'RE BLEEDING???  
WhERE LANCE OH MY GOD  
GO TO THE HOSPITAL  
,,,  
wait  
I'M STUPID DJFJHDJSHFHIEIEWOE

 **L:** bye

Lance strips from his pajamas and slips into his binder, a pair of jeans, and a sweatshirt. He grabs his phone and heads out of the apartment.

Both Calliope and Marco were at their classes and had work immediately afterwards. He heads down the road and continues for what feels like forever.

He eventually gets to Keith's apartment building and knocks at the door.

"Oh, hey Lance." Shiro smiles.

"Hey, Keith here?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"His mom reached out to him."

"What?"

"Yeah, he's out with her right now. He should be back soon, if you want you can wait here?"

"I don't wanna impose."

"You're fine, come on in. This gives me an opportunity to tell you embarrassing stories about Keith. And I get to whip out the baby books." Shiro chuckles, pulling Lance inside the apartment.

"Oh, uh. Okay." Lance mutters, taking a seat on the couch.

Shiro exits the living room and comes back with a couple books in his hands.

"These date all the way up to his first year at the Garrison. He threatens me anytime I try to take pictures now."

"So are you and Keith biological brothers?"

"No, we really aren't related at all. I took Keith in when his father died."

"What?"

"Keith's father died. He risked his life going back into a burning building to save a kid."

"I-I never knew that."

"He and I got into a bit of an argument last night. He used his father as an excuse to not take his meds."

Lance chews on the inside of his cheek.

"Lets get to these baby books, huh?"

"Yeah."

They flip through the pictures, all the way up to first year Garrison Keith. The front door opens and Keith steps inside, the door shutting after another person walks in. Keith jumps when he sees Lance on the couch talking to Shiro.

"Oh! Keith, you're home." Shiro smiles.

"Did you fucking touch him?" Keith growls. This situation reminded him of when he came home to find Shiro and Lotor making out on the couch.

"What? Keith-"

"Did you fucking touch him, Shiro?!" Keith was pissed.

"Keith, he didn't-"

"I'm asking Shiro, not you." Keith glares at Lance.

"Is this about the Lotor thing. Dude, I didn't fucking touch Lance."

"Should- Should I leave?" Krolia speaks up.

"No, you're fine." Keith mutters.

Lance sits there awkwardly, his emotions beginning to swirl out of control. Tears rolls down his cheeks and he lets out a shaky breath.

"Lance?" Keith whimpers.

"Im- I'm gonna go." Lance whispers, standing up. He pushes past Keith and Krolia.

"Lance wait!" Keith shouts, grabbing Lance's wrist.

Lance tears away from Keith and rushes back home. Binder making it difficult to breathe as he runs down blocks and blocks of buildings. Once he's back inside his room he collapses in a pile on the floor.

He pants and wheezes, sobbing and hiccuping. He strips from his shirt and binder and calls Hunk.

_"Hey. You okay buddy?"_

"Keith- Keith doesn't trust me- he thinks- Hunk he thinks I'd cheat on him with Shiro."

_"What?"_

"He- he came back after being with his mom and Shiro and I were talking on the couch about- about Keith and looking- at looking- looking at his baby pictures. He started yelling asking if Shiro touched me."

_"Lance, are you okay?"_

"No- I- I ran in my binder and now my ribs hurt." Lance hisses.

Hunk and Lance talk for a little longer until Lance hears a knock on the front door. He hangs up and slips back into his shirt.

Lance pads out of his room, having calmed down an hour ago. He opens the door and freezes. His blood turns cold and his breath hitches.

"Hello, love."   
  
  
  
  
  



	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 updates in 1 day??? Wow I'm throwing my life away

Lance tries to shut the door in Lotor's face, failing when he shoves his foot between the door.

"Aren't you happy to see me? I sure am happy to see you. I missed your vanilla lips and round hips, McClain." Lotor chuckles.

"How- how did you find me?"

"I've got a bit of intel from Axca. She told me all about your bonding in your room. Wells after I beat her senseless or course."

Lance whimpers and backs up, walking backwards until he hits the wall. His eyes widen when he gets boxed in by Lotor.

"Oh princess, you can't be that disappointed to see me, can you? I thought you enjoyed our little visits."

Lance shoves against Lotor, hitting at him.

"Oh love, you don't want me to get violent now. Do you?"

Lance's blood turns cold again. Where the hell were Marco and Calliope? Why were they taking so long to get home.

"You're a horrible host, Lana. Show me to your room." Lotor smiles, breath hot against Lance's skin.

Lana. Lana. Lana.

"That's not my name." Lance hisses.

"But isn't that what your mother named you? You shouldn't just throw that away, Lana. Now be a good pet and lead me to your room like I asked." Lotor chuckles, pulling away from Lance.

Lance reluctantly heads to his room. His heart racing. He had a glass plant pot in his room. He could use that as a weapon.

"There's a good host." Lotor grins, closing the door behind them. He locks it and Lance's heart rate increases.

Lance goes to grab the plant but before he can he's shoved against the bookshelf, books clattering down hitting him in the face. He cries out and struggles against Lotor.

"Were you planning to hit me with that?" Lotor snarls.

Lance shakes his head, silent tears falling down his cheeks.

Lotor makes quick work of shoving Lance face down into the mattress. Ripping the back of his sweatshirt open and throws the tattered cloth to the side.

Lance panics, sobbing and whimpering

"You sound like a wounded dog. Maybe I should shut you up?"

Lance's eyes widen when he hears the distinct sound of a belt coming undone. Lance screams and rolls over, kicking Lotor in the groin.

He takes the chance to grab his jacket and unlock the bedroom door, throwing it open. He races from the room and out of the apartment building.

He feels a hand yank onto his hair and pull him down. Eyes widening when he sees Lotor again.

"You're such a pest!" Lotor growls, kicking Lance in the side.

Lance groans and rolls over, shoving his feet into Lotor's knees, sending the male toppling over.

Lance stands up, nearly falling as he runs. His bare feet pounding against the pavement. Tap tap tap against the hot tar of the road. His lungs scream for air as he runs to the only place he knows.

Bounding up the apartment buildings stairs to Keith's. He shoves through the door and slams it

"Lance?" Shiros worried voice comes from the couch.

Lance's nose was bloodied and his eye bruised. His ribs aching from that kick.

"Shiro, who's here?"

"Its Lance!" Shiro shouts.

Keith is in the living room within a second. Arms enveloping him.

Lance shrieks and shoves Keith away, falling backwards, cradling his sides.

"What the fuck?" Keith hisses.

Lance throws up on himself before passing out.

"Does he have his phone on him?" Shiro asks.

"Uhm." Keith mutters, patting Lance's pockets.

"Well?"

"No. Shiro he's bruised and bloodied. His brother and Calliope wouldn't do this to him."

"Do you have his brothers number?"

"No." Keith sighs.

"I'll call the police, they'll report to his house and ours and talk to us and Lance when he wakes up. For now we need to clean him up and get him new clothes."

"Im gonna ask Hunk if he knows anything." Keith mutters.

_> >>Hunk>>>_

**K:** lance just showed up  
have you talked to him at all?

 **H:** yeah  
he hung up about an hour or two ago because someone was at the door  
it wasn't you?

 **K:** no  
i haven't left my room.

 **H:** pidge?

 **K:** they don't know where Lance's apartment is

 **H:** oh jeez  
is he okay?

 **K:** he's in bad shape  
bloodied and bruised, he only has his jacket and pants on.

 **H:** what the hell,,

 **K:** we called the police were waiting for them now

 **H:** update me asap

 **K:** will do

_> >>Pidge>>>_

**P:** wHY ARE THERE POLICE CARS OUTSIDE THE BUILDING???

 **K:** i'll explain later.

As soon as Lance comes to he's immediately overwhelmed. Kicking out at whatever is next to his legs.

"Jeez! Ouch, Lance!" Keith hisses.

"K-keith?" Lance whimpers.

"Yes, its me. We've got someone here to talk to you." Keith sighs.

A cop is standing by Keith's desk.

"Hello, I'm officer Reya. Mr.Kogane here said you showed up to his and Mr.Shirogane's apartment with a bloody nose and a bruise on your eye. They stripped you from your vomit covered clothes and bathed you and dressed you. Upon undressing you they found you had only your jacket and a large abrasion on your side. Kogane here tells me you use a binder, was that bruise from that or an attacker?"

Lance's head spins. Keith stripped him? And bathed him? Keith had seen his body?

"I- I didn't look. Shiro washed you." Keith mutters

"I- uh- the bruises are from an attacker."

"Can you identify the man or woman who attacked you?"

"Lotor Daibazaal. He's 6'2, long silver hair, tanned skin, a blue maybe violet colored iris. Quiet lanky but has some muscle to him."

"Lotor is here?" Keith growls.

"So you are acquainted with the attacker?" the officer raises an eyebrow.

"My ex and Lance's former classmate." Keith mutters.

"Oh, I see. Lance, could you tell me from start to finish what Mr.Daibazaal had done?"

"Wh-when it started or- or today's incident?"

"Today's incident please. Then I'll send an officer to examine your apartment to find any damages or if anything has been taken. We'll then talk to who you're living with and ask where they were at the time of the attack."

"Uh-o-okay. I was on a call with my best friend Hunk for a few hours when I heard a knock at the door. I thought it was Keith, so I slipped back into my sweatshirt, I had taken it and my binder off due to extreme difficulty breathing. When I had answered Lotor was there. In my shock I tried to close the door and he- he blocked it. He cornered me in the living room when I backed against a wall and told me to take him to my room after threatening to-" Lance shudders, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Take your time, I know how hard it can be reliving these things. Even if they happened minutes or even years ago."

"He threatened to harm me if I didn't take him to my room and cooperate. I tried to grab a potted plant, glass might I add, to injure him to some extent to give myself time. He noticed and shoved me against my bookshelf, books fell and hit me. My nose began to bleed and a bruise began to form on my eye."

Keith was resisting the urge to storm out of his bedroom to go hunt Lotor down.

"He- he harmed a female named Axca who was trying to protect my location. Lotor then- he shoved me face down into my bed and ripped through my sweatshirt. When- when I heard him undoing his belt it sent me into fight mode and I kicked him in his groin. I grabbed my jacket and raced out of my apartment, getting to the hall of the buildings before he pulled my hair and shoved me to the ground to kick at my side. I kicked his knees and ran to Keith's." Lance finishes, wiping at his hair

"I'll send a team to your apartment to search it and talk to your guardians. In the meantime you should stay here, I'll stay posted outside of the apartment to ensure your safety."

"Thank you, Officer Reya."

"Its my duty to serve and protect." she smiles, giving a small salute.

"Lance are you okay?"

"Not really." Lance laughs.

"Do you wanna watch a movie? Keep your mind off it?"

"I-I guess?"

"Okay."

Keith turns on Moana and sits next to Lance. Waiting for him to fall asleep. He feels Lance's head hit his shoulder and he smiles.

"Goodnight Lance." Keith whispers.

He stays up to watch over Lance and make sure he sleeps okay. Waiting for Lance if he has an nightmares. Playing with his hair and watching Disney movies.

Keith eventually passes out, his head laid against Lance's. Lance now tucked tight against Keith, a blanket draped over the two of them.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for being gone for 4 days. I've had a bit of writers block and sensory overload. This school,, its just so much my brain can't keep up. Its like everyday is so exhausting and draining and I can't keep up. I get up around 6/7 am and get out at 3:25 yet the bus doesn't get me home til 4:10 and I'm just so exhausted. Its horrible. I haven't been having many good days. There's only been 5 days yet I just wanna curl and cry because of how overwhelmed I get. I have no friends to the point where my fucking guidance counsellor is talking to people for me. I miss my friends at my old school.

Lance stumbles through the streets, legs numb. He spins around, hearing footsteps. Eyes widening, he runs.

Bare feet slapping down against the concrete. Terrified. Panting. He runs into someone, falling onto his ass. He looks up and his eyes widen again, scrambling backwards screaming.

"HELP! HELP!" He screams loudly.

"No one's coming to your rescue, love." Lotor purrs, picking Lance up. He throws him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Roaming hands, breath down his neck. Lips on his, lips down his throat. Teeth, sharp and fang-like scraping down his neck. Shirt tugged and thrown to the side, pants ripped off.

Lance wakes up screaming and panting. Sweat sheening his body.

"Lance?!" Keith gasps.

Lance's head shoots around, staring at Keith like he just killed his dog. Lance falls out of the bed and scrambles backwards.

"Lance? Shiro! Get in here!" Keith shouts, scrambling out of the bed.

Heavy footsteps, door swings open.

"Don't touch him, Keith." Shiro grumbles, crouched down near Lance.

"But-!"

"No buts! Now shut the hell up!" Shiro shouts.

"Lance, hey, you're okay. Can you look at me?" Shiro whispers, voice soft and soothing.

Lance's breathing was erratic, hands clawing at his arms.

"Shit." Shiro mutters, he grabs Lance's hands and holds them tightly.

"Lance, I need you to look at me." Shiro huffs

Lance's eyes seem to search the room before landing on Shiro.

"Good, good. I need you to breathe with me. Okay? Can you do that?" Shiro smiles, rubbing patterns with his thumbs into Lance's hands.

Shiro breathes, demonstrating for Lance. In. Hold. Out.

"Okay, Lance, who am I?"

"Sh-shiro?" Lance's voice was scared and slurred.

"Yes, that's good. Who's that on the bed?" Shiro shifts to the side, letting Lance look at Keith.

"Kei-Keith."

"Good. I'm gonna let go of your hands." Shiro smiles, pulling away.

"He- he- Lotor- the streets... he-"

"It was a dream, Lance." Shiro smiles.

"It felt- it felt so r-real!" Lance sobs.

"I know, I know. But it wasnt, I promise you that it was all a dream. You've been here all night, curled up with Keith."

"Even- the- the fight,,, was that- that was a dream? Lotor isn't back either..?"

"No, the fight and Lotor weren't a dream. We've got officers searching right now. We think Lotor had a ticket here and back."

"He- he wouldn't just come then leave." Lance whimpers.

"He might have. They're checking and doing as much as they can."

Lance sighs and rubs at his face. This was all too overwhelming for him.

"I'll have Keith walk you home. I've got to be at work." Shiro smiles, ruffling Lance's hair before he stands up.

"Lance?" Keith mutters.

"Yeah?" Lance looks up to Keith, wiping at his eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Lance forces a smile.

They sit in silence for a little while, Lance curled into himself on the floor.

"Lance?"

"Hm?"

"Do you wanna come back in the bed? We don't have to like- oomf!"

Lance is back in the bed in a second, head tucked under Keith's chin. He needed reassurance. He needed something nice. Lance was tired of living in fear.

He wanted to take back what happened to him and use it as reasons not to trust people but not everyone was like that. He couldn't recoil at every single touch. He couldn't live like that anymore.

"Keith."

"Hm?"

Lance presses his lips to Keith's, trying to forget the feeling of Lotor's. Trying to make a new feeling, happier, full of love.

"Keith, help me forget him." Lance whispers, kissing down Keith's neck.

As much as Keith wanted this he couldn't. He couldn't do that.

"Lance, look at me." Keith huffs, putting on a front

Lance pulls away from Keith's neck, looking at his eyes and lips.

"You can't make a good experience by trying to block out a bad one. You don't want this, you simply want to forget what nearly happened. I can't let you do this."

Lance chews on his bottom lip and sighs.

"I guess you're right. I just wanna take it back y'know. I'm tired of being terrified of every little touch. I can't believe he invaded my fucking home, my new home where I feel safe to be myself, and tried that shit."

"I know, but you'll be able to get over this hurdle. I promise you Lance. You'll get through this and you'll be able to be okay again."

Lance hugs Keith, shoving his face into his chest. Sniffling but not crying. He didn't have anymore tears to shed.

"You want me to walk you home so you can get your binder and clothes back on? I'll stay with you tonight if you want me to."

Lance nods and squeezes Keith.

They end up staying at Keith's for a bit longer before Keith walks Lance home. The two of them curling up to watch a movie in the living room with Calliope and Marco. An officer posted outside their door for protection.  
It definitely made Lance feel a lot safer.

He ends up falling asleep sprawled across Keith and Calliope's laps. Keith's hands running through his hair and Calliope rubbing his back. The movie still playing, Marco and Keith making quiet idle conversation.

Marco telling Keith all about Lance's childhood. He used to shove things down his pants. Marco was surprised his mom didn't find out sooner, it was quite obvious.

Lance had struggled with a lot of things when he was younger. From being forced into feminine clothes he'd rip chunks of his hair out as a coping mechanism. Lance always knew there was something wrong and Marco could tell too.

Life just wasn't easy for the McClains. Always something crazy happening.

"So how long have you and Calliope been together?"

"Since I moved out here about 3 years ago. Soon as I laid my eyes on her I knew I wanted to be with her. Kind of like I could tell she was meant to be with me?" Marco shrugs.

"I always thought he was a bit of a flirt. He was always trying to get my attention by showing off." Calliope laughs.

"That's how Lance is. Big goofy flirt. Glad he turned out like you, Marco." Keith smiles, looking down at Lance with a fond look on his face.

"That's the look." Marco smiles.

"Huh?"

"The look. The 'Im stupid in love with you'." Marco chuckles.

Keith's cheeks flush pink.

"He's just playing with you." Calliope smiles, reaching over to ruffle Keith's hair.

Lance whines and kicks out his legs, hitting Marco.

"Shushh." Lance groans, yawning and stretching.

"Maybe you should go to your room and sleep." Calliope snickers.

"No." Lance mutters before drifting back to sleep. Head pushing into Keith's hand.

They continue to talk, just a bit quieter. Marco telling more embarrassing stories about Lance. Calliope telling stories about Marco their first year of college.

It was nice, Keith felt accepted here. He wanted to keep that forever.

 

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm not updating everyday like i used to. School has me stressed beyond the max. I missed a day and I'm behind in everything it sucks. I wish I could just stay home and not have to deal with this stuff bc its not helping my mental health at all. Gender crisis is back haha dab

Keith was sitting in Iverson's class, completely overwhelmed. He didn't know how Lance was. He didn't know where he was either.

Anxiety and paranoia taking over his leg begins to bounce. He looks down at his hands, nails were nubs. Lance hated when he chewed at his nails and cuticles.

He lifts a finger to his mouth, tearing away at the skin around his nails. Nearly wincing at the pain of his skin being ripped open. It was nearly carnivorous, ravenous.

Blood pools and sits there until Keith sucks at the area. Moving on to another finger. Skin lifted and bloodied. His left leg bouncing faster now.

His other hand scratching slightly at his face. He pays no attention to the jumbled words Iverson is spilling out. Zoned out, dead to the class.

"Kogane."

He zones back in, snapping out of the hole.

"Yes sir?"

"Can you tell me exactly what I just said?"

Keith stares blankly, gears turning in his head. Blank. Nothing. Lance.

"Uhh- no, sir. I'm afraid I can't. Could I step to the hall?"

"You've got 2 minutes."

Keith grabs his bag and rushes out of the class. Heading to an exit. He had to see if Lance was okay.

Anxiety eating away at the back of his mind. Everything screaming that this wasn't like Lance. He would've told Keith if he had therapy or if he was sick.

Lance would've texted him. He hadn't gotten any all day and it was nearly the end of the school day. Keith walks faster, pace close to a jog.

He gets to Lance's apartment and knocks. Waiting and waiting for a response. Calliope's figure stands there, a confused smile playing on her lips.

"Keith?"

"Is Lance here? He didn't- he didn't text me and I'm- I-I'm freaking out."

"He's fine, Keith. He had a reschedule with his therapist. Marco took him a bit ago. You're welcome to stay if you'd like."

"No- no I don't wanna impose. I already did- god I really am clingy. I'm sorry Calliope you probably have work or something- I'm gonna go. Thank you for reassurance though." Keith smiles, spinning on his heels.

He heads out of the apartment building and down the main street to get to his. Anxiety still thrumming through his veins. He chews at his bottom lip, skin easily tearing off. Blood spilling across it.

Copper. Keith enjoyed the taste if he were honest. He liked the look of it too. His tongue runs along his lips collecting the thick red liquid.

Once he's home he opens the door. Cursing when he spots Shiro's shoes, along with a foreign pair.

"Shiro?" Keith calls out, padding from the entry to the living room.

It takes a moment but Keith gets a rugged Shiro in the hall.

"What- what are you doing home?" Shiro rasps.

"Uh- Did I interrupt something?"

"No! Yes? I don't know! What are you doing here?!"

"Freaked out at school."

"Are you okay? Is Lance okay?"

"I'm fine, Lance had a therapy appointment that we both didn't know about. Freaked me out cause he hasn't texted me."

"So you felt the need to leave school?"

"Yes?? I care about Lance and I wanted to make sure he was okay. Clearly you don't know what its like to care for a significant other."

"Takashi?" a voice calls.

"I- just a second!" Shiro shouts.

"Who's that?" Keith pushes passed Shiro.

"Keith!" Shiro shouts.

Keith pushes open Shiro's bedroom door, a dirty blonde\light brown haired male sits up.

"Right after Matt?!" Keith shouts, spinning around to face Shiro.

"I was going to tell you Keith!"

"And yet you didn't, good job on hurting people you love." Keith seethes, pushing past Shiro again to head to his room.

His bedroom door slamming behind him. He throws his backpack to the ground and pulls out his phone, collapsing on his bed.

_> >>Losers>>>_

**K:** Shiro already got with someone new.

 **P:** what??

 **H:** i didn't even know him and matt broke up

 **K:** well they did  
and i know matt is still upset isn't he

 **P:** hes doing better  
hes talking to a girl now

 **K:** yea but shiro is FUCKING

 **P:** Jesus

 **H:** ksmdkskskw BAD WORD WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

 **K:** KSKSKS ITS JUSTIFIED IN THIS MOMENT

 **L:** sup hoes  
oh?  
you okay babe?

 **K:** yeah im fine  
come over?  
or i can go over there?

 **P:** or you could come to mine?  
i have a surprise:3

 **K:** surprises from you are always bad

 **P:** not this one  
cmon, trust me this one time

 **K:** fine  
ill go pick lance up

 **L:** i  
im kinda already outside your place

 **K:** wHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME HOLD ON

Keith scrambles out of bed, throwing on new clothes and shoving his feet into his shoes. He shoves his phone into his pocket and rushes out of the apartment.

He runs down the hallway stars and outside, grinning when he sees Lance.

"Hey!" Lance smiles.

"Hey."

"Sleeveless shirt? That's new."

Keith looks down, snorting at the wide cut holes where the arms used to be.

"I forgot I owned this, guess in my hurry I grabbed it." Keith shrugs.

"Makes you look good." Lance smiles, taking Keith's hand. Start out slow. Only hand holding again for the moment. And hugging.

Keith walks Lance across the street to Pidge's house. Knuckles hitting the door.

"Did you bite your fingers and lips again?" Lance sighs.

"Y,,yes?"

"Stupid. Put bandaids over them so you aren't tempted."

"I'm sorry, I freaked out okay."

"What's up losers?" Pidge grins.

"What's the surprise?" Keith sighs.

"Wow, such a peach. So glad to see you Keith. A smile wouldn't kill you." Pidge chuckles.

"Hey Pidge."

"Heya Lance. C'mon in guys." Pidge steps aside, allowing Lance and Keith to step inside the house.

"So, the surprise is in my room. It's big and cuddly. And as sweet as chocolate chips."

"Is it a teddy bear?" Lance squints.

"Dunno, let's go find out." Pidge grins, pulling the two upstairs to their room.

"Now, don't freak out when you see what's in here." Pidge snorts.

"Why would we-" the door creaks open to reveal Hunk sitting at Pidge's desk.

"HUNK!" Lance squeals, rushing into the room.

"Lance!" Hunk smiles, standing up to intercept the hug.

"I can't believe you're here!!" Lance laughs, squeezing Hunk. He felt his problems melting away. Warm and soft. Cuddly.   
The squeeze reminded him of Blue.

Hunk lets Lance down and pulls Keith into a hug as well.

"So what are we gonna do?"

"Anything and everything."

"Sleep over?" Pidge asks.

"Please." Keith laughs.

"No PDA." Pidge snickers.

"We aren't like making out calm down." Lance sighs.

"Oh yeah." Hunk mutters.

"I'm doing fine. Don't worry. Cmon, its fun time. I've got all my pals." Lance smiles  
  



	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, I'll try to update again tomorrow but I can't promise there will be one.

They start off the sleepover by heading downstairs. Hunk and Pidge immediately heading off into the kitchen.

"What are you two doing?" Lance snorts upon seeing Pidge on Hunk's shoulders.

"Mom's mixing bowl is on the top of the cabinets." Pidge mutters, fingers grazing the bowl. They hiss out a curse and sigh.

"Still too short. Lance you got lanky arms you try." Pidge huffs, clambering down from Hunk.

"Uh, okay?" Lance mutters, awkwardly getting on Hunk's shoulders.

Keith crossed his arms over his chest, a small scowl on his lips.

"Awe don't be jealous Keith." Pidge whispers, snickering.

"I-I I'm not!" Keith stutters, face flushed.

"Mhm coulda fooled me." Pidge grins.

Lance's fingers grab the bowl, afraid to lose his balance. His thighs were tight around Hunk, holding the bowl close to his chest. He quickly sets it down and clambers off of Hunk.

"Bet you wish that was you." Pidge teases.

"Will you shut up!" Keith hisses, hitting them lightly.

"I'll fucking bite your arm, test me."

"I'll stab your dog."

"Touch Bae Bae and you die."

"You two okay?" Lance quips.

"Yep!" Keith smiles.

"Peachy." Pidge smiles as well.

They end up making cookies and brownies. Lance crying when he gets a brownie in his mouth.

"What the fuck this is so good." except its more muffled.

"Oh my god, don't cry!" Hunk laughs.

"ITS SO GOOD THOUGH." Lance sits there, silently crying.

Keith smiles and snorts.

"What's so funny Keef?"

"Nothing." Keith laughs.

Lance finishes his brownie before he sends a glare Keith's way.

"Something's funny otherwise you wouldn't laugh."

"Ooh shit Keith's gonna get his ass beat."

Their little squabble ends with Lance tickling the hell out of Keith until he's crying.

"lANCE IM GONNA PUNCH YOU STOP!" Keith screams, barely able to breathe over his laughing.

"Okay okay." Lance snorts, pulling away.

"You're an asshole." Keith pants, rolling over.

"Awe poor baby." Pidge snickers.

"Oh haha." Keith huffs.

The rest of the night is filled with popcorn and horror movies. Surprisingly, Keith was terrified.   
He had his face shoved into Lance's back.

"Pussy." Lance snickers.

"Oh shut up." Keith huffs.

"Nah." Lance snorts

"Shh." Pidge hisses.

"We should watch Heather's or Breakfast Club." Hunk suggests

"Breakfast Club." Lance says.

"Heather's." Pidge and Keith say at the same time.

"Uhhh both?" Hunk asks.

"Yeah." Lance shrugs.

They watch Heather's first then Breakfast Club. Keith mouthing each J.D line in Heather's.

"Bet your first gay crush was on him." Lance chuckles.

"Oh my god, Keith had a shrine dedicated to J.D" Pidge laughs

"Katie! Shut up!" Keith whines.

"Its Pidge and you know that. Seriously, dude was obsessed with him. He even begged for a trench coat like J.D's for his 14th birthday."

"You've got to be joking." Lance laughs.

"Hush!!" Keith whines.

"Poor baby." Lance snickers.

"Shh." Hunk pouts.

"Sorry Hunk." Pidge, Lance, and Keith mumble.

They stay up til 1am, watching old movies and eating sweets. Lance ends up falling asleep, curled across Keith's lap.

Keith smiles and runs his fingers through Lance's hair. Rubbing his back. Hunk and Pidge take pictures and smile.

Keith, still with a fond smile on his face. "If you don't delete those I'll stab you both." he doesn't look up at all.

Hunk chokes and snorts.

"Fucking stab me." Pidge glares, the tv glaring off their glasses.

Everyone else ends up falling asleep an hour or two later. Passed out on the couches and floor. Lance and Keith cuddled tightly together.

The next day they listened to musicals and baked again. They also went out to a coffee shop and to a nearby laser tag/mini golf place.

It was a great 2 days but Lance needed to get home immediately. He hadn't been able to take off his binder, his chest was aching like hell.

"Keith- Keith I've gotta get home." Lance wheezes.

"Did you sleep in your fucking binder?" Keith hisses.

"Yeah!" Lance squeaks.

"Come to the bathroom with me." Keith sighs.

They head into the laser tags bathroom, Lance stepping into a stall. He wrestles out of his jacket and shirt.

Breathless from just doing that. He takes a moment to breathe, pressing his hands to the stall to stretch. He then wrestles out of his binder, shuddering at the frigid air.

Lance could finally breathe, he basically moans at the free feelings.

Keith chokes from outside the stall, cheeks flushed.

"I- I did that didn't I?" Lance whines.

"Y-yep." Keith coughs.

Lance sighs and slips back into his shirt and jacket. Swallowing the feeling of dysphoria down. Today was a day for happiness, not this bullshit. He steps out of the stall and sighs.

"It feels good to be able to breathe, but what do I do with this?"

"I'll put it in my pants pocket."

"Uhh,, okay?" Lance hands his binder over and Keith tucks it into his pocket.

Lance and Keith head out of the bathroom. The two of them heading to where they saw Pidge and Hunk last.

They stay for a bit longer before Keith walks Lance home. Keith presses a small kiss to Lance's cheek before Lance goes inside.

"I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I've got another therapy session and check up tomorrow. They're upping my dosage."

"So, don't get to see you?"

"Sadly, no. You can see me the next day." Lance smiles.

"Okay, well see you then. Wish me luck that I don't walk in on Shiro having sex." Keith snorts.

"Good luck cariño." Lance presses a kiss to Keith's cheek before he heads inside.

Keith smiles and heads back to his apartment. The sun setting making the world seem much more beautiful. When really the world was sick and twisted.

The only things that made Keith look forward to living were Lance, sunsets and sunrises, Pidge, and Hunk. They were the only things that made him truly happy with life. Especially Lance.

He sighs and places his hand on the door knob. Twisting it before pushing the door open. He steps inside and jumps when he sees Shiro and another male on the couch.

"Keith." Shiro sighs.

"I don't want to meet another one of your boyfriends, Shiro." Keith glares.

"No, you're going to sit down, Keith."

Keith rolls his eyes and collapses into a chair. His arms crossed over his chest.

"This is Adam. He and I have been talking for a while, since before Matthew and I had began to date."

"Wait, are you telling me your feelings for Matt weren't true?" Keith's eyes widen.

"What? No! Keith, I loved Matt, a lot. Its just, we couldn't deal with that third party in our relationship, or I couldn't. Keith, I've never been sure of my sexuality, sure I've found women attractive, but its just the aesthetics. I found that out quickly when Allura joined our relationship. So I left and continued talking to Adam."

"You could've just said something to Matt about Allura."

"Its not up for debate! Its done and its been done, Keith. Adam, this is Keith, my brother."

"We aren't even blood related cut the shit Takashi. My dad only brought you in because he was friends with your mom and dad." Keith seethes, quickly getting up. He rushes to his room, slamming and locking the door.

He could hear Shiro crying and Adam comforting him. Keith felt bad for doing something for the first time in his life. He and Shiro's relationship would suffer from that choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I have a calcium deposit in my leg and it hurts like a bitch. I'm tired and need to sleep before school so here's a cute thing.
> 
> My ex started talking to me again so that's,, hhhh. 
> 
> I have 9 friends in total at my new school!!

Keith tried over the whole week to apologize to Shiro. To tell him he was sorry and didn't mean it, yet he couldn't ever find Shiro. He had really fucked up. So, he calls over Lance to figure out what he should do.

"Wait so you're telling me that you said to Shiro that you aren't blood related and your dad only brought him in because of his family?"

"Yes! I know I fucked up Lance! God I pushed one of the only people away that has ever been there for me! He- he hasn't been home in days!" Keith was crying. He shoves the heels of his hands against his eyes in attempt to stop the tears. He felt weak.

"You're not weak, Keith." Lance whispers, pulling Keith into his hold. Taking ahold of Keith's hands, pulling them away from his face.

"You're not weak, you've got feelings. Its okay to cry over these things, Keith." Lance smiles,  running his fingers through Keith's hair.

Keith sobs and shoves his face against Lance's chest.

"Woah-kay!" Lance shrieks, pulling Keith's face away.

"S-sorry! I forgot-- god I'm fucking everything up!" Keith laughs through his tears, pushing his face against the crook of Lance's neck. Sobbing and shaking.

"Its okay." Lance whispers, rubbing Keith's back.

"What do I do?!" Keith hiccups.

"Well, for starters you could call him. Then you could apologize and meet his new boyfriend. He wanted you to be a part of his life and I'm sure that made him feel like you didn't want to be in it. So you tell him you're sorry and that what you said wasn't true, tell him that you love him and that he is your brother. It'll take a while for you two to have what you had, but it will be okay."

Keith takes a minute to calm down then goes to wash his face. Splashing cold water against his skin. He takes a look at his dark circles and chapped lips.

"Lance?" Keith ask, walking back to his room.

"Hmm?"

"Do- do you still do that facial care shit?"

"Yeah, I started back up again when the acne started. Why?"

"Could- could we do some? Not that- not that I care if my skin is soft or whatever." Keith clears his throat.

"Pfft, sure Keith. Do you wanna stay at my house too? We could watch movies and whatever."

"If its not too much."

"Its fine, you need a break from being here. C'mon we'll have a nice little boyfriends day."

"Pfft, okay." Keith snorts, grabbing his backpack. Dumping his papers and books out. Shoving clothes in it.

"Can I steal a hoodie?" Lance mumbles.

"What's that?"

"C-can I steal a hoodie?" Lance mutters.

Keith snorts and stands up, plucking a black hoodie with roses on the sleeves from his closet.

"Should smell like me if you're worried about that." Keith chuckles, tossing the hoodie to Lance who catches it with his face.

"Shut up." Lance groans from behind the hoodie.

"Nah." Keith snorts, shucking his backpack strap over his shoulder.

Lance shoves the hoodie on over his t-shirt and takes Keith's hand. The two of them walking to Lance's place. They stop at a gas station to get snacks which results in Lance saying that he's the only snack Keith needs.

"Are you saying you want me to eat you???" Keith tilts his head.

Lance snorts and pats Keith's back.

"Silly. C'mon, we've got Disney movies waiting for us."

When they get to Lance's they immediately head to Lance's room. Lance setting up his bed to be comfortable, getting a stack of movies, and arranging the food on the bed.

"Now, you stay here I'm gonna get the face masks, a wet rag, and a bowl." Lance smiles.

They had gotten comfortable in their pajamas and turned on Keith's favorite princess movie. Brave. He doesn't even know how it got to be his favorite.

Lance returns with his hands full, shoving the things onto his side table. He wets Keith's nose with the damp rag.

"What's that?"

"A pore strip, I'm gonna put it on your nose and rip the shit outta it."

"Ouch???"

"Beauty hurts babe." Lance chuckles, planting a small kiss to Keith's lips. Lance was having a good day and that was rare now. After that whole Lotor thing he sorta shut down with touches.

But once again he was getting better, apparently the officers had apprehended Lotor at the airport. So things were taken care of and Lance and Axca were talking quite regularly.

They wait a bit before Lance rips the pore strip from Keith's nose, Keith letting out a shriek.

"Ow!" a couple tears stream from the sides of his eyes.

"Oh you baby." Lance laughs, kissing Keith's nose.

"What's next?" Keith huffs.

"Just a nice rose clay mask. Which means I need to tie your hair up turn around." Lance smiles.

Keith shifts, careful not to knock over anything. Lance hums and gathers Keith's hair up, tugging it into a ponytail. The tug drew a gasp from Keith, his cheeks flushing.

"Sorry!" Lance hisses. He thought he had hurt Keith.

Keith relaxes, thank God. When Lance is done he turns back around. Cheeks still a light pink.

Lance hums to a song Keith didn't recognize, squeezing some of the rose scented clay mask onto his fingers. He rubs it over Keith's face, making sure to coat it evenly.

"What song is that?"

"Uhm. Seigfried by Frank Ocean?" Lance mumbles.

"Sing it?"

"I-I can't sing?!"

"Course you can, c'mon." Keith smiles.

"Ugh." Lance huffs.

"Please." Keith pouts.

"Fine.." Lance sighs.

He picks up where he was humming. 

_I'd rather live outside_  
_I'd rather chip my pride than lose my mind out here_  
_Maybe I'm a fool_  
_Maybe I should move_  
_And settle, two kids and a swimming pool_  
_I'm not brave (brave)_  
_I'm not brave_  
_I'm living over city_  
_And taking in the homeless sometimes_  
_Been living in an idea_  
_An idea from another man's mind_  
_Maybe I'm a fool_  
_To settle for a place with some nice views_  
_Maybe I should move_  
_Settle down, two kids and a swimming pool_  
_I'm not brave_  
_I'd rather live outside_  
_I'd rather live outside_  
_I'd rather go to jail_  
_I've tried hell_  
_(It's a loop)_  
_What would you recommend I do?_  
_(And the other side of a loop is a loop)_  
_This is not my life_  
_It's just a fond farewell to a friend_  
_It's just a fond farewell to a friend_  
_This is not my life_  
_It's just a fond farewell to a friend_  
_It's not what I'm like_  
_It's just a fond farewell (brave)_  
_Speaking of Nirvana, it was there_  
_Rare as the feathers on my dash from a phoenix_  
_There with my crooked teeth and companions sleeping, yeah_  
_Dreaming a thought that could dream about a thought_  
_That could think of the dreamer that thought_  
_That could think of dreaming and getting a glimmer of God_  
_I be dreaming a dream in a thought_  
_That could dream about a thought_  
_That could think about dreaming a dream_  
_Where I can not, where I can not_  
_Less morose and more present_  
_Dwell on my gifts for a second_  
_A moment one solar flare would consume, so I nod_  
_Spin this flammable paper on the film that my life_  
_High flights, inhale the vapor, exhale once and think twice_  
_Eat some shrooms, maybe have a good cry, about you_  
_See some colors, light hangglide off the moon_  
_I'd do anything for you_  
_(In the dark)_  
_I'd do anything for you_  
_(In the dark)_  
_I'd do anything for you_  
_(In the dark)_  
_I'd do anything for you_  
_(In the dark)_  
_I'd do anything for you, anything for you_  
_(In the dark)_  
_I'd do anything for you, anything for_

"And you say you can't sing." Keith huffs.

"Shut up I can't."

"If I didn't have this mask on I'd kiss you."

"Do it anyways." Lance challenges.

Keith chuckles, pressing his lips against Lance's, clay mask rubbing onto Lance's face. Keith's hands tangled into Lance's hair.

Lance pulls away, huffing. He wipes at the part of the mask that got on his face.

"You told me to." Keith grins.

"Shut up." Lance huffs, popping a milkdud into his mouth.

"Gimme one."

Lance presses his lips to Keith's and pushes the candy from his mouth to Keith's, pulling away.

"Gross, but thanks." Keith laughs around the candy, sucking at the chocolate covered caramel.

"Rude." Lance laughs.

"Shut up. Can you wipe this off?"

"Mhm." Lance takes the wash cloth, wiping Keith's face down. Putting the rag into the bowl when he's done.

"Cuddles?"

"Sure." Lance smiles.

They move the candy and trash. Laying down, Keith spooning Lance. Lance ends up falling asleep, taking his binder off before he does. Thanks to Keith.

Keith was happy, calm. He'd talk to Shiro tomorrow. For now he'd live in the moment. Hand running through Lance's hair, the other wrapped around Lance's stomach.

He eventually falls asleep, not even waking to the door creaking open. Marco and Calliope whispering and taking pictures.

"You think they'll wake for dinner?"

"Probably not. Should we wake them when the time comes?" Calliope asks.

"Yeah. We'll make something nice."

"You will, I can't cook." Calliope laughs, closing the door.

"That's true, you tried to make spaghetti without water." Marco laughs.

"Oh hush it." Calliope snickers.

"I love you~" Marco coos, pressing his lips to Calliope's.

Calliope smiles and kisses back, pulling away a moment later.

"I love you too."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna fail my first algebra test yay
> 
> There's a bit of hinted nsfw at the end. Keith is,,, hormonal. And that'll start happening on Lance's end as well ;)

Keith called Shiro when he got home, patiently waiting for an answer.

 _"What do you want?"_ Shiro's voice was cold.

"I- come home. If I apologize over the phone it doesn't mean anything." Keith mutters

_"I really don't wanna hear anymore of you saying what you said last week."_

"Im not- I wasn't gonna say that shit anymore. Just please- come home."

 _"Im bringing Adam as well in case you make me cry again."_ Shiro sighs, ending the call without a bye.

Keith sighs and paces, the bandages on his fingers stopping him from chewing at the nails. He clenches his fists and unclenches them, breathing in and out. He had to calm down.

He heads to the living room and takes a seat in a chair. Leg bouncing insistently. The door opens and Shiro and Adam head into the living room. Taking a seat on the couch.

Adam was glaring at Keith, cold and bone chilling. It was a well deserved look. Shiro looked like he had been crying for days, nonstop.

"Say what you need to say." Shiro mutters.

"I- I know what I said was wrong now, in that moment I hadn't realized. It's just- you bring so many people into my life and expect me not to get attached, Matt barely talks to me anymore and it's upsetting because he and Katie are well- my best friends. I shouldn't have said that you aren't my brother, because you are. You're my brother no matter if there isn't a blood relation. You're also my best friend and my support system, you've had so many problems but yet you continue to support me over yourself. I need to support you and your relationships, its my turn to give back. So, Shiro- please, I love you." Keith's voice breaks, tears eventually falling down his cheeks.

Shiro is on his feet in seconds, leaning over to wrap his arms around Keith. Tears falling from his cheeks onto Keith's shirt. Sobs coming from both of them.

Keith repeats that he's sorry like mantra.

"I love you too, Keith." Shiro mumbles, rubbing at Keith's back.

They end up having a little 'family' dinner. Keith finally giving Adam a chance. Learning more about it. Apparently he worked at the Garrison, Keith shocked that he had never seen him.

"How the hell have I never seen you??" Keith raises an eyebrow.

"No clue, Keith. But I do have Pidge and Lance in one of my classes. Lance is- he's something." Adam chuckles.

"Sure is." Keith smiles, lovesick and dopey.

Shiro smiles, watching the two people he loves most talk and actually get along. Even if its only about Lance.

Later that night Keith and Lance skyped. Keith had literally just gotten out of the shower so his hair was soaked and he was only in boxers.

 _"You just get out the shower?"_ Lance asks, cheeks flushed slightly.

"Yeah, I didn't just wanna ignore your call or whatever."

_"How'd it go with_ _Shiro_ _?"_

"He accepted my apology and uh Adam is gonna come over more."

_"Adam?"_

"He's one of your teachers, last name starts with a W."

 _"Oh! Mr.W! No one can pronounce his last name so he just uses W."_ Lance laughs.

"Yeah. So how's your day been?"

_"Mm been good. I talked to_ _Mamà_ _, Ronny, and Luis. Oh! And_ _Nyma_ _, she called me earlier."_

Keith chews on his cheek.

"That's nice. What'd you talk about with Nyma?"

_"She said she misses me and hopes I come back soon. I told her I'd go back home at Christmas time."_

"And with your mom?"

_"Luis broke his arm. Again. Ronny has a girlfriend now! I didn't even know she was a lesbian, I was shocked all to hell._ _Mamà_ _and Papi aren't doing to well,_ _mamà_ _is still pissed at him for kicking me out."_

"He- pfft- broke his arm again?? " Keith laughs.

 _"_ _Mhm_ _! I can't believe it!"_ Lance laughs.

They sit there talking for hours. Marco and Calliope bringing Lance dinner in the middle of the call. Lance literally shoves 4 garlic knots into his mouth, basically moaning around them.

 _"Marco makes really good garlic knots and I envy him."_ Lance says through a stuffed mouth.

That's 2 times Lance had moaned around Keith and it was really getting to him. Obviously he wasn't just gonna admit it. He was a guy, it happened y'know.

 _"You okay?"_ Lance tilts his head.

Heat rises to Keith's cheeks.

"F-fine! I'm fine!" Keith's voice shoots up an octave, cracking terribly. He cringes at it and covers his reddening face.

 _"You sure?"_ Lance asks.

"I'm fine, Lance." Keith mumbles. Trying to get the blush to go down.

_"Okay,,"_

Keith could suddenly remember the feeling of Lance's mouth hot around- nope not going there. He shudders and huffs.

"D-do you mind if I get- er god do you mind if I hang up? I'm getting tired?"

 _"Oh sure,_ _te_ _amo_ _cariño_ _,_ _buenas_ _noches."_

"I love you too babe." Keith smiles, hanging up. He slams his laptop shut and shoves his hand under his boxers.

Lance was honestly confused. He texts Pidge.

_> >>_ _Pidge_ _> >>_

**L:** keith was acting shady

 **P:** boner

 **L:** whAT

 **P:** probably got a boner  
y'all fine he ain't gonna cheat if that's what you're worried about

 **L:** nO SKDMMSMD  
IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT THAT  
IT'S JUST WOW

 **P:** watch he'll text you again in a bit

 **L:** he said he was going to bed

 **P:** nah  
that boy gonna nut to some mothman porn or smth

Pidge was right. Keith called back, claiming he couldn't sleep. His cheeks flushed.

_"You need your adorable boyfriend to sleep?"_

"Psh no."

 _"Mhm okay."_ Lance chuckles.

"Have you taken your binder off?"

Lance hums and nods.

 _"Yep, it's wash day for that thing."_ Lance yawns, shoving his face into the hoodie he had received the day before.

"Tired?"

_"Mhm."_

"Then sleep you goof ball."

 _"I'm planning to, hush."_ Lance huffs, turning around, hiking a leg over an extra pillow. Holding it closely.

Keith rolls his eyes. Lance did have a nice ass, Keith wouldn't deny that. And really nice, soft thighs. Keith wanted to bury his head between them and-.

Keith shakes the thought and image out of his head. Sighing, he shoves his face into his pillow and eventually falls asleep. Blanket shucked up to his neck, nearly covering his head.

Tomorrow would be better. And hopefully more pg.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Kuzu Mellow- Sunflower Feelings
> 
> Big ol' fluffy mess so I can have smth to smile about bc I cried 3 times yesterday

Adam came over a lot more than Keith thought he would. It was a shock to him that he'd come over nearly every night. Although it was a good thing because Shiro couldn't cook for shit.

"Slow down Keith." Shiro laughs, watching his brother shove forkful after forkful of food into his mouth.

"Its so good!" Keith was nearly crying, his words coming out muffled.

"Don't talk with your mouth full."  Adam sighs.

Keith chokes and hits his chest with his balled up fist.

"Is- Adam is- oh my god he's choking." Shiro scrambles from his chair and rushes over to Keith.

Keith laughs and tips back in his chair, yelping when it falls over. Adam snickers and covers his mouth as giggles fall from it.

"Its not funny!" Shiro huffs, taking his seat.

"Oh but it totally is." Keith laughs, finally picking himself and his chair back up.

"Go call your boyfriend or something."

"Can I go over to his place? Lance and I wanted to watch a movie and hang out at the park."

"Yeah, be home by dinner tomorrow. Unless you wanna stay there two nights." Shiro shrugs.

"Ew. You're kicking me out." Keith grimaces.

"I- wha- Adam back me up here."

"No, Keith has the right idea." Adam laughs.

"Gross." Keith groans, leaving the table. 

"Have a good two days with Lance!! Don't do anything Shiro would!" Adam shouts.

Keith rolls his eyes, packing up some things. He quickly calls Lance.

_"Hey."_

"Hi, Shiro and Adam are kicking me out. Adult shit, y'know?"

_"Gross. Come on over loser."_

"Cool. Thanks."

_"Love you."_

"Love you too." Keith smiles even though Lance couldn't see.

"Have a safe walk." Shiro says as Keith walks out the door.

"No, I'll make sure I get ran over just because of that." Keith snorts, shutting the door behind him.

Keith pops in his earbuds and turns his music up all the way. He smiles when he sees the sun setting, beautiful hues on the horizon. It was times like this he wished he could paint well.

He takes a few quick pictures and continues his walk. Shoes hitting the cracked pavement, eyes ahead looking around. He's tempted to hum along to the music, or sing.

Deciding against it so he doesn't look weird, he walks faster and turns the corner. By the time he had reached Lance's it was dark as hell outside.

He shoots a text to Lance to tell him that he's here. He scrolls through instagram for a few minutes, not noticing Lance until he's suddenly knocked onto the grass.

The wind gets knocked out of him and he wheezes, taking his earbuds out.

"Hi!" Lance smiles.

"H-hey." Keith coughs.

"Sorry, I'm just really happy to see you! Do you like- do you wanna stay out here and look at the stars for a bit?"

"Sure."

"Cool." Lance smiles, rolling off Keith so he can lay on his back and look at the stars.

"Wait, Lance."

"Hmm?"

"Do you know how to dance?"

"Uhm not really." Lance mutters.

"That's alright, I'll teach you. Stand up." Keith smiles, shucking his backpack off as he stands up. He offers his hand to Lance.

Lance takes it and lets Keith pull him up.

"There's a song I wanna sing." Keith laughs softly.

"Gosh, maybe you're the loverboy." Lance chuckles.

"No, that's still you. Uhm- can I- can I put my hand on your hip?"

"Yeah."

Keith places his hand on Lance's hip and takes Lance's left hand.

"Put your other hand on my shoulder." Keith smiles.

"Okay." Lance whispers, he felt like if he talked too loud it would ruin the moment.

Keith clears his throat and starts singing.

" _We've been dancing for so long under the stars_  
_I feel as the grass will cut through my skin_  
_All the pills we take have seem to prolong_  
_Our existence but I don't feel alright_  
_I would rather be alone than have you_  
_Every time I speak I feel myself fall_  
_Do you wish to find the truth in my lies_  
_Sorry darlin there's no truth here_  
_No_

 _It's just the two of us, my dear_  
_Listen to me don't you hear_  
_I only fell for you_  
_I only fell for you baby_  
_Don't you let them see your fear_  
_Promise not to shed a tear_  
_I only fell for you_  
_I only fell for you baby"_

Lance had ended up crying, unable to continue dancing.

"I- did I so something wrong?"

"No! No- Keith it's- it's just too perfect! It doesn't feel real to have someone so- so- god so fucking perfect!" Lance sobs, burying his face into Keith's chest.

"I'm far from perfect." Keith mumbles, playing with Lance's hair.

"Shut up that's a lie. You- you're fucking gorgeous, you've got an amazing personality, you can sing and play guitar. You've just got the ability to make me feel calm no matter what and I- you're just perfect Keith." Lance mumbles.

"So are you."

"Doesn't feel like it."

"Lance, look at me."

Lance sighs, looking up at Keith.

Keith smiles and cups Lance's face, looking into his eyes. Soft, full of love.

"You're amazing. You're perfect too and whoever says you aren't is completely wrong. If you can't see how perfect you are then you're blind." Keith laughs softly.

Lance's cheeks flush and he tries to decide between looking away and kissing Keith.

Keith seems to make that decision for him, leaning down to capture his lips. Thumbing over the stray tears.

Lance smiles into the kiss. He was so happy, he wanted this moment to last forever. Wanted to stay in Keith's arms longer, but it was getting cold.

"We should head inside." Keith whispers.

"Yeah." Lance smiles.

Keith pulls away and grabs his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder. They head into the apartment building and to Lance's.

"Marco and Calliope are watching the breakfast club, do you wanna watch?" Lance asks.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Cool because they're having and old movie marathon and I wanna watch with them but I didn't wanna 3rd wheel." Lance snorts, pulling Keith inside.

"Well look what the cat dragged in." Marco laughs.

"Hey Marco, Calliope." Keith smiles.

"Hey Keith." Calliope smiles.

Lance drags Keith to the couch and they sit down together. Curled up, Keith ends up falling asleep this time. Head resting atop Lance's.

"Look how cute he is." Lance whispers.

"He certainly is." Marco snorts.

Calliope elbows Marco which gets a flick to the head.

"You already know I'll fight back Cal' don't think about elbowing me again."

"Oh bite me." She laughs.

"Where?"

"Gross!" Lance shrieks.

Keith shoots up with a snort, clearly startled.

"I'm awake!" Keith grumbles, rubbing at his eyes.

Marco laughs along with Calliope and Lance.

"You're fine, Keith. Go back to sleep." Lance snorts.

"Mmkay." Keith mumbles, curling up to Lance like a cat.

Lance smiles and plays with Keith's hair. Dull nails scratching at his scalp.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so late. I haven't been motivated at all and school is killing me. I go home, eat, space out, and sleep. So sorry this took like a week.

Lance woke up to Keith curled tightly around him, smile spreading across his face at the sight. It soon disappears when he realizes he had to use the bathroom.

"Hey, Keith." He mutters, shaking him lightly.

"Mm 10 more minutes Takashit." Keith grumbles.

"Keeeith!" Lance whines, shaking him harder.

Keith eventually tumbles off the bed, landing with a loud snort and thump. He sits up and his eyes fly open.

Lance rushes to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He whimpers when his stomach cramps.

"I thought this was over with.." Lance mumbles before calling for Calliope.

"You okay sweetie?" She asks from behind the door.

"Can you come in here?" Lance mumbles, crouched on the ground, cradling his stomach.

The door creaks open, Calliope stepping in.

"What's wrong hon'?"

"I thought this was over with." Lance mumbles.

"Oh dear, you wanna watch a movie on the couch? Order some pizza and eat ice cream?"

"No, I don't eat ice cream! I want this to be over!" Lance sobs, digging the heels of his palms against his eyes to try and stop his tears.

Keith is in the bathroom within seconds, pushing passed Calliope. He crouches down to Lance's level and pulls him into his arms, playing with his hair.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Keith whispers.

"Everything!" Lance hiccups.

"Well, how 'bout we curl up on the couch an' watch a movie? So I can take care of my Prince."

"I'm not a dann prince! They don't bleed like this! They don't cry over minor inconveniences. They have dicks, Keith!"

"I- Lance, I can't help if you don't let me."

"I don't want your fucking help! I want to be alone!" Lance growls, pulling away from Keith. He rushes back to his room, throwing Keith's bag into the hallway before he slams and locks his door.

Keith stares at the place where Lance just was. Hands shaking, he chews on the inside of his lip.

"Um- thank you Calliope, for letting me stay. He- uh he'll be okay, right?"

"He'll be fine, Keith. Don't worry, he didn't mean what he said, y'know."

"I know." Keith mumbles, standing up. He grabs his things from the hall and exits the apartment.

Keith holds back tears as he storms down the concrete, vision blurring. He growls and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes before he speeds up his pace.

"Are you okay?" Someone asks.

Keith shoves passed them, speed picking up to a sprint. Tears begin to fall, he stumbles as the ground below him blurs. He falls into the street, eyes widening as a blurry semi speeds his way.

He's yanked out of the street by someone. He pants and wipes at his tears. He looks up and scrambles back on the concrete, trying to get away from the person.

"Aren't you happy to see me, Kogane?"

"No! There's- no you can't- they- they caught you!" Keith shrieks.

"Afraid not. Tis a pity, I was going to pay Lance a visit. Did he dump your pathetic ass already?"

Keith stands up, picking his speed up again. Running across the street, he hears thundering steps behind him. His heart beating loudly in his ears.

This couldn't be real. It had to be a dream. Keith pants, running faster, barreling through the apartment building to his and Shiro's.

He busts the door open, falling into the floor. He kicks the door closed and quickly locks it. Staring wide eyed at the door, scrambling backwards.

"Keith?" Shiro asks.

"Don't unlock that door- Shiro- he- Lotor-" Keith feels bile rushing up his throat. He runs to the bathroom, nearly falling over a rug. He heaves and coughs as vomit spills from his lips.

He clutches the toilet, panting, sweat dripping down his forehead. He was delirious, he could hear Lotor's laugh. The last thing he hears before he passes out.

He wakes up an hour later in his bed, drenched in sweat, yet he was freezing.

"Hey kiddo." Shiro smiles.

"What- uurgh- what happened?"

"I should be asking you that. You came home freaking out about Lotor."

"I- he yanked me out of the road- I swear he did. I- I fell because I was crying- Shiro what the hell?"

"You've got a fever, we wanted to wait for you to wake up until we took you to the hospital." Adam mutters.

"I- no I can't be sick. Shiro, Lance needs me!" Keith sits up, immediately regretting it. He groans and lays back down, vision spotty.

"Hey, just lay down. Adam, get him some water."

Adam nods and exits the room.

"Why were you crying?"

"I- Lance-"

"Did he break up with you??"

"No, Shiro. He just- urrgh- periods, he didn't want me there."

"Well its kind of understandable, Keith. You shouldn't get upset because of that. I know you just wanna be there for him, but sometimes people do need a bit of space." Shiro smiles

Keith nods.

"Get me a bucket.." He mutters, feeling sick all the sudden.

Shiro rushes to get the trashcan out of the bathroom, running back in just in time.

Keith heaves and clutches the bin, panting. Adam comes back in with water and a cool rag.

"Hey, you feel better?"

"Hell no." Keith rasps, taking the water. He takes a sip and lays back down.

"We should get you to the hospital."

"No."

"Keith, dont even start arguing." Shiro sighs.

"Please don't make me go."

"You don't have a choice."

Keith groans and throws an arm over his eyes. Today sucked.

When they get to the hospital they wait for a bit before they get taken to the back. Keith laying on the white bed, bright light nearly blinding him.

"Hello, I'm your nurse, Reya. What's bothering you today?"

"Uh- nausea, fever, cold chills, stomach pain."

"Mmhm. Well, I'm going to go ahead and take some blood and the doctor will be in shortly." She smiles, gathering the things she needs before padding over to Keith.

"He- he's not good with needles, be careful." Shiro warns.

Reya sends a smile over to Shiro.

"I can handle a brat like him." She says jokingly.

"Haha." Keith mutters.

She ties the tourniquet around Keith's upperarm and cleans the crook of his elbow. She readys the butterfly needle and holds Keith's arm.

"Stay still."

Keith rolls his eyes, looking away as the nurse sticks the needle into his skin. He whimpers and chews on the inside of his cheek. He didn't understand how Lance could stick himself in the thigh all the time.

The doctor comes in shortly after Reya leaves. He sits on the stool and slides over, taking Keith's temperature.

"Are you two the parents, or?"

"I'm his brother." Shiro mutters.

"Ah." The doctor nods, blue gloved hands grabbing the thermometer.

"101.2° I'm going to push down on your abdomen, I need you to tell me if it hurts." The doctor starts on the left side, slowly traveling over.

Keith shoots up in pain when he reaches the right side. He whimpers and shoves the doctors hand away.

"We'll wait for the blood test results, give us a few moments and I'll get back to you."

"Shiro 'm dyin' ain't I?" Keith drawls.

"No, you're not dying Keith." Shiro snorts.

"It's probably appendicitis." Adam mutters.

Keith ends up having to get his appendix removed. The doctor telling him to rest for at least 10-15 days. He also prescribes some pain medicine.

"Pidge I'm dying." Keith mumbles, still slightly high from the anaesthesia.

 _"Youre fine, Keith."_ Pidge laughs.

"Nuh uh- holy- pidge it's mothman."

Pidge busts out laughing at this point.

"Shh!! You'll scare him!" Keith hisses, eyes as wide as saucers.

_"Man, get some sleep."_

"Im not tired!"

_"Yeah sure. Lay down and get nice and warm under your blankets, Keithy."_

"Ugghh." Keith groans, hanging up, he stalks over to his bed and resists the urge to throw himself on it. He carefully gets in bed and curls up.

He missed Lance. It felt empty and cold without him. He missed his voice, his scent, his touch. He groans and tries to sleep.

Hours later he was still wide awake, staring at the ceiling. He nearly crawls out of his skin when the Skype tone goes off. He grabs his phone and answers.

Voice raspy and scratchy.

"Hello?"

_"Did I wake you?"_

"No, I couldn't sleep. Now my pain meds are wearing off." Keith mumbles.

_"Meds?"_

"'m sick. Well, was. Appendicitis." Keith mumbles.

_"Oh my God. Are you okay?"_

"'m fine, how're you?"

_"Doesn't matter."_

Keith yawns, hearing Lance's voice put him at ease.

_"I can hang up if you're tired."_

"No!" Keith says a bit too loud.

"No- please, keep talking."

_"Uhh, okay?"_

Lance talks about his family until he hears Keith snoring slightly. He smiles to himself and wishes Keith sweet dreams before going to sleep himself.   
  
  
  



	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another delayed chapter. Sorry. School is eating my ass again and my mental health is declining as usual. I suck at writing rn and I kinda just wanted to write porn so here's a bit

Keith's stitches had finally come out and he was safe to do things. He chambers out of bed and hastily gets dressed.

_> >>Lance>>>_

**K:** meet me at the coffee place  
asap

 **L:** uhh  
okay?

Keith hitches a ride from Adam who is on his way out to work.

"You going on a date?" Adam teases.

"Yeah yeah." Keith hops out of the car while it's stopping. Slams the door behind him and rushes to the flower shop across the street. Cheesy, yes, but it was their 6 month and Keith wanted something special.

Lance was right, Keith was a closeted hopeless romantic. He loved to make the most of things.

He buys two roses and rushes back across the street. Nearly getting hit as he hops over the curb.

He takes a seat and waits for Lance. Leg bouncing, fingers tapping against the table.

"This seat taken?" A familiar voice asks.

Keith chuckles and looks up.

"Not at all."

"Surely a man like you wouldn't be here all alone."

"Mm I'm not now that you're here." Keith smiles.

"How sweet." Lance snorts, sitting down. He reaches across the table and takes Keith's hands.

"6 months and hopefully many more to go." Keith whispers, pulling his hands away so he can hand Lance the roses sat in his lap.

"See! You are a hopeless romantic!" Lance laughs.

"Yeah yeah. You feelin' better since last time I saw you?"

"Mhm, thighs a bit sore from my shot though."

"Want me to kiss it better." Keith teases.

Lance's face immediately turns red and he tries to hide it.

"Maybe later." Lance mumbles under his breath.

"Hmm?"

"I said let's get coffee!" Lance squeaks from behind his hands.

"I'll get it. Cafe con leche?"

"Yeah, thank you." Lance smiles.

Keith orders his and Lance's regulars as well as a couple cookies.

He grab the things off the counter and heads back to the table.

"Here you go babe." Keith hands Lance the coffee, taking a seat.

"Thanks cariño."

They chat idly for an hour before they decide to go to Keith's.

"So what uh- what do you wanna do?" Keith asks, lounging on the couch. Lance sitting with his legs resting over Keith's thighs.

"Netflix?"

"Mary and the witch's flower?" Keith tilts his head.

"Sure." Lance smiles.

Halfway through the movie Lance had made his way closer to Keith. Head tucked in the crook of his neck. Keith's arm wrapped around his waist, hand wresting on his thigh.

Lance presses butterfly kisses up Keith's neck. Light and feathery until he reaches Keith's lips.

"Mm what are you doin'?" Keith drawls.

"Nothin'" Lance snorts, pressing a kiss to Keith's lips.

Keith smiles and kisses back, thumb rubbing circles against Lance's hip.

Lance hums and kisses with more force, tongue brushing over Keith's bottom lip.

Keith pulls away, cheeks flushed.

"Lance?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you- are you sure?"

"Yes." Lance mutters, pressing his lips back to Keith's.

Keith hauls Lance into his lap and holds onto the back of his thighs. He bites lightly at Lance's bottom lip.

Lance shudders and lets out a soft sigh, parting his lips. Hands cupping Keith's face, he hums.

"I love you." Keith whispers against Lance's lips.

"Mm I love you too." Lance smiles, resting his forehead against Keith's.

Keith cups Lance's face, kissing him again. It quickly becomes heated, Lance gasping when Keith kisses down his neck. Teeth grazing the skin.

"Keith~" Lance moans, eyes widening as his cheeks flush bright red.

Keith stops, hands shaking against Lance's lower back.

"I- uh- shit." The movie had long been stopped. Silence heavy in the room.

"We- uh we got carried away, huh?" Lance chuckles.

"Oh uhm y-yeah." Keith stutters, Lance sure as hell could feel the hard on he was sporting. There was no way he couldn't.

Lance clears his throat, awkwardly clambering off of Keith.

"Should I- should I leave?"

"Uh- i- I dont know? Do you want to leave?"

"N-not particularly. P-plus- m-my thigh still hurts and you said y-you'd kiss it better." Lance mumbles, cheeks flaming.

"Oh did I now?" Keith chuckles.

Lance huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

Keith crawls over to Lance, placing his hands on either side of his head. He sits himself on Lance's lap.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" Keith whispers, soft kisses along his jaw. Teeth nipping lightly.

Lance lets out a shaky breath and tilts his head to the side, revealing more skin.

"Y-yes."

"Then we should head to my room." Keith mumbles.

Lance chews on his bottom lip. His hormones were driving him crazy and he wanted Keith yet he didn't want to undress at all.

"Just- if I say stop please-"

"Lance I would never do something you wholeheartedly wouldn't want." Keith smiles, looking Lance in the eyes.

"I want to but- I just- Keith I-"

"Shh you don't have to explain. We can just cuddle and watch movies."

"But you've got to be uncomfortable." Lance huffs, gesturing toward the bulge in Keith's pants.

"Sure I'm uncomfortable but I dont want you to be uncomfortable with anything." Keith sighs.

"I'm not uncomfortable per say I'm just- ugh- my body."

"Your body is just fine Lance and I would love to show you that. Even with all that shit you're still a man. You're my strong and handsome prince." Keith smiles.

"Cheesy ass." Lance laughs lightly.

They do end up heading to Keith room. Keith turning music on quite loudly. The neighbourhood plays through the speakers, crackling slightly. 

_Vacancy was lit, the guests were checking in_  
_The concierge was cold,_  
_The water pipes had mold all over them_  
_The room was fit for two,_  
_The bed was left in ruins_  
_The neighbor was knocking, yeah_  
_But no one would let him in_

Shirts had been shed, Keith's hands were splayed across Lance's back. Lips moving along his neck, teeth scraping along the skin. Soft moans filled the room along with the music.

 _Touch me, yeah_  
_I want you to touch me there_  
_Make me feel like I am breathing_  
_Feel like I am human_

Keith chuckles at the lyrics, breath fanning along Lance's throat.

"Where should I touch?" Keith whispers, breathless, raspy.

"Anywhere- god just keep your hands on me." Lance sounded wrecked and they hadn't even started.

Keith brings his hands down from Lance's back to his upper and inner thighs. He pushes them apart and settles himself between them.

"This okay?"

"Yes, Keith. Let me-" Lance trails off, grabbing at the bottom of his binder.

Lance laughs when he gets stuck.

"Need help?" Keith snorts.

"Yeah." Lance mumbles. Sure he felt self conscious and could feel dysohoria wrapping his mind but he wasnt going to let it ruin things. Not now.

Keith helps Lance from his binder and smiles.

"Did I ever tell you how handsome you truly are?"

"Mhm all the time."

"Cause you are." Keith whispers, kissing down Lance's neck. Licking and biting at his collarbones.

Lance lets out a soft noise, arching into the touch.

 _Dancing through the night_  
_A vodka and a sprite_  
_A glimpse of the silhouettes_  
_A night that they never forget_

"Wait, Keith."

Keith pulls away, ready to help Lance back into his binder if needed.

"Yeah?"

"Shirt- take your shirt off." Lance breathes.

Keith chuckles and tugs his shirt off, tossing it to the side.

Lance shudders and runs his fingers over the exposed skin. Scars along Keith's body.

"Where'd they come from?"

"They uh- they're from me." Keith whispers, chewing at his cheek.

"Oh.."

"Yeah."

"You're still beautiful."

"Thank you."

"Now let me-"

"Keith?!" Shiro's voice was loud. It had to be, Keith's music was blaring.

Keith's eyes widen same as Lance's. Lance grabs one of Keith's hoodies shoving it over his head.

"We'll have to do this at my place when Marco and Calliope are at work." Lance whispers, hiding his shirt and binder.

Keith slips on a shirt and turns down the music before his bedroom door opens.

"Why was the music so loud? Hey Lance."

"Because I wanted the music loud?"

 _Touch me, yeah_  
_I want you to touch me there_  
_Make me feel like I am breathing_  
_Feel like I am human_

Shiro squints, a face that Keith knew well. The doubtful dad look.

"Shiro I swear I just wanted my music loud."

"Well keep it down. We've got neighbors y'know."

"Sorry Shiro."

The door closes.

Lance laughs, falling back onto the bed.

"You're still between my thighs!" Lance laughs louder.

"Oh my God! No wonder he gave me the look™" Keith snickers.

"Mhm. Maybe I could give you a taste of your own medicine." Lance chuckles, referring to the splotchy bruises blossoming on his neck.

"Mm maybe." Keith chuckles.

Lance and Keith switch positions, Lance straddling Keith's waist as he attaches his lips to Keith's neck.

Teeth grazing the skin. Sucking and biting bruises into the pale unblemished skin.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for neglecting this story. Uhh I went to a party on Saturday. Also I'm developing a crush so thats amazing. Heres this,, sin.  
> I'm failing 2 classes hahaha

Shiro had ended up leaving with Adam sometime in the middle of the night. Which was honestly not the best idea.

"Mm my lips hurt." Lance whines.

"Awe poor baby." Keith teases.

"Shut."

"Hmm you want anything to eat?"

"Sure." Lance shrugs.

"Are chips okay? I can't really cook." Keith snorts.

"Mhm thats fine."

Keith gets out of bed and heads to the kitchen. He grabs a bag of chips and two water bottles before heading back to his room.

"Its oddly quiet in here." Keith mutters to himself as he closes his bedroom door.

"Huh?"

"Its quiet." Keith says again, sitting at the edge of his bed.

"Wanna watch a movie then?"

"I guess."

They turn on some random movie. Keith wasn't very interested in it, some weird romance movie. He never was one for romcoms.

Lance didn't seem interested either. He was just staring blankly at the screen and eating chips.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Im bored." Keith whines.

"'m sorry." Lance mumbles.

"Why?"

"Cause you're bored."

"Mm its fine." Keith chuckles.

Lance presses a kiss to Keith's jaw.

"My thigh may not be sore anymore but you can still kiss it better." Lance teases.

"I- are you- are you sure?"

"Positive." Lance smiles.

"Lance I don't- I dont want you to feel as if we have to do these things. I don't want us to rush into things if you-"

Lance presses his lips to Keith's then pulls away.

"You saying these things shows me you care and you aren't going to leave me as soon as we get done. I trust that if I ask you to stop you will. I love you Keith, and I'm ready for this. You have my consent, do I have yours?"

Keith nods.

"I need you to say it." Lance laughs softly.

"Yes- Lance, yes you have my consent."

"Good." Lance smiles.

"Are we- Lance, are we going all the way?"

"If you want."

"Do you want to?"

Lance bites his bottom lip, cheeks flushing. He turns his face to avoid eye contact and nods.

"Dont be embarrassed- Lance I've been wanting to for a while." Keith mutters.

"R-really? Even though- even though my body is like-"

"Shut up. I don't care about that. I care about you, I love you."

"O-okay we uh- hah- we need protection."

"Shiro should have some."

"I'll be here."

Keith gets out of bed, heading to Shiro's room. He roots through the side table and finds a box of condoms. He chews on his lip, hoping they're the right size.

Keith closes the drawer and pads back to his room, closing and locking the door behind him.

"I- I really hope this is the right size." Keith mumbles, cheeks flushed.

"Test it out." Lance shrugs.

"Close- close your eyes."

"Ill see you anyways." Lance snorts.

"J-just close your eyes." Keith huffs, waiting til Lance closes his eyes to turn around.

He slips his pants and boxers off, wrapping his hand around his cock. Pumping it a couple times so it hardens, letting out quiet huffs.

He opens the condom and rolls it on his length. He snorts and covers his mouth.

"Shiro or Adam must have a little dick."

"What? Oh my god- is it too small?"

"Y-yeah." Keith stutters.

"Do- do you want me to go buy one?"

"Should I go with you?" Keith asks, rolling the condom off. He slips his pants and boxers back up before turning around.

"Unless you can hide that."

"Ill just have to tuck it in my waist band." Keith shrugs.

"Ow?"

Keith shrugs, turning away. He tuck his cock into the waist band of his boxers.

"Okay- lets go then." Lance gets up from Keith's bed.

They awkwardly go buy a condom. The lady at the counter giving them a weird look.

Lance tugs Keith up the stairs of the apartment and back into Keith's room. Keith chuckles and pushes Lance lightly against the wall, tugging his head aside.

"Marco is gonna kill us." Lance laughs.

"Yeah." Keith snorts, marking up Lance's neck.

Lance shudders, tilting his head to reveal more of his neck. He moans when Keith sucks at his pulse point.

Keith chuckles against his neck. Hands tight on Lance's hips, teeth dragging against his neck.

"Keith~" Lance whines.

Keith pulls away, slipping his hands down to the back of Lance's thighs. He hauls him up, wrapping Lance's legs around his waist.

"God- you- you could seriously benchpress me." Lance laughs.

"Mmhm." Keith snorts, pressing his lips to Lance's.

Lance kisses back, fingers tangling into Keith's hair. He tugs at the roots of his hair and kisses harder.

Keith groans against Lance's lips, shoving him against the wall harder.

"Lance- fuck." Keith pants.

"Turn the music- Keith turn the music back on."

Keith nods, letting Lance down. He turns the music back up, words crackling through the speakers.

Lance pushed Keith onto his bed, straddling his waist.

"Where were we~?" Lance teases, fingers dancing at the bottom of his hoodie.

"Mm before we were interrupted by Shiro?"

"Mhm~"

"I think we both had our shirts off, yeah?"

"Yeah." Lance chuckles, slipping the hoodie off.

Keith's breath hitches and his fingers twitch. What was he supposed to do with his hands.

"Touch me." Lance mutters.

"W-where?"

Lance chuckles again, breathy. He grabs Keith's hands and places them on his waist.

"That is your decision." He smiles, cocky and lopsided.

Keith trails his fingers up, dragging them lightly across Lance's skin making him squirm.

"If it's my choice then I suggest you take your pants off so I can mark and kiss those pretty thighs of yours."

Lance shudders at the tone in Keith's voice. Pure unadulterated lust. He nods and slips off of Keith.

Shucking off his pants, he then tosses them to the side. He felt exposed.

"Take yours off too."

Keith nods, slipping from his shirt and pants.

Lance sits back on top of Keith, running his fingers along the scars littering his skin.

"Don't do this again." Lance whispers.

"I- I can't promise you that."

"Please."

"I can't.." Keith mutters.

"Just- try, okay?"

"Okay." Keith smiles, pushing Lance off.

"Where you going?"

"Cant kiss your thighs if you're on me." Keith chuckles.

"Oh." Lance lets out, soft.

Keith smirks and situates himself between Lance's legs. Teeth grazing the skin, tongue running over the supple flesh.

Lance's breath hitches and he shudders at the sensation.

"This the shot?" Keith mumbles.

"Mhm."

Keith kisses at it, smiling.

Lance smiles and looks down at Keith. His heart stops and then speeds up with Keith looks up at him. Tongue sliding up his inner thigh.

"Fuck, Keith~" Lance groans.

Keith chuckles.

"That what you want?"

Lance's cheeks flush.

"Y-yes."

"Be patient."

"Please?" Lance breathes.

Keith's cheeks flush, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Fine." Keith huffs.

 

30 minutes later Keith collapses next to Lance. Chest heaving.

Lance's face was bright red. The two of them curled under the blankets.

"T-that- wow-" Lance whispers, voice hoarse.

"Yeah.." Keith pants, kissing Lance's forehead.

Keith's bedroom door opens and Keith's eyes widen.

Shiro stands there for a minute, processing. He then curses and slams the door.

Lance's face flushed dark red.

"Shit." They both mutter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably end this soon and make a second part called Blue and set it in college? It'll end around chapter 45 or 50 I suppose. There's so much I could write in this so its like hhh I'm reluctant to end it but I dont want it going until like 300 lmao. But yeah does a 2nd part college thing sound good?  
> Also I need to stop thinking of new books bc I have like 2 others i wanna make.   
> A tattoo artist au which I'm trying to decide if I wanna make is shance, klance, sheith, or literally any other voltron ship. Also a pornstar au lmao not sure if I'll go through w it bc my smut isn't that good and actual porn is highkey cringe haha but yeah!! Those are some ideas!!

Shiro had ended up driving Lance home, an extremely awkward ride at that.

"Uhh- thanks?" Lance gives an awkward smile.

"Yep.." Shiro mutters, not making eye contact.

Lance steps out of the car and rushes to Marco's apartment. He slams the front door closed behind him and winces. Running wasn't a wise idea.

His hips hurt like a bitch.

"Where have you been?" Calliope gasps.

"Keith's?" Lance wheezes.

"We've tried calling you! I thought you were coming home after your- what the hell is on your neck?!" Marco trails off, shouting the last part.

"I- uhh- would you believe me if I said I'm having an allergic reaction?" Lance laughs nervously.

"Cal' can you give us a moment?" Marco sighs.

"Yeah, I'll be in the room." She smiles, exiting the living room.

Lance takes a seat on the couch and bounces his leg.

"Please tell me you didn't." Marco mutters.

"And if I did?"

"Lance, please just- tell me you didn't."

"I did! Okay?"

"Did you- god- did you use protection?"

"Of course I did!"

"Oh thank God. Keith didnt force you did he?"

"No! God- no, Marco!"

Marco lets out a breath of relief.

"I'll- Lance is this going to be a regular thing? Should I get you things?"

"I-I dont know?"

"I- uh I'll get things just in case then." Marco sighs.

"Can I go to bed now?"

"I suppose."

Keith got tore into.

"Keith what the hell?!" Shiro shouts, slamming the front door.

"What?" Keith huffs, arms crossed over his chest.

"You're only 17! What the hell were you thinking?! Lance can get pregnant- you- urrh! Keith I can't with you!" Shiro shouts.

"We used a condom."

"Thats not enough! What if there was a hole? What it I broke? Keith, you cant rush head first into these things!"

"You do it." Keith mumbles.

"I am an adult! You aren't, Keith."

"Im at the legal age of consent, and I'll be 18 in a month then I can get out of your hair. You care about yourself and thats all!"

"I- I care about myself? I ONLY CARE ABOUT MYSELF?! Keith I didnt have to fucking take you in! I didn't have to let you live here! I didnt have to drop out of college and take up 3 jobs to cover the bills! AND I CARE ONLY ABOUT MYSELF?!" Shiro scoffs, anger showing in his body language and face.

"Why are we even talking about this? Weren't you just grilling me about sex?"

"You're the one who turned it into this. I'll get Lance the morning after pill and you'll take it to him tomorrow then you march your ass home and you are grounded!" Shiro growls, shoving passed Keith. He heads to his room and slams the door.

Keith sighs, heading to his room.

_> >>Lance>>>_

**K:** so I'm grounded  
uhh Shiro is gonna buy the morning after pill for you  
and he wants me to bring it to you so  
uh yeah

 **L:** he seriously grounded you again?

 **K:** yeah  
i blew things out of proportion a bit anyways  
i told him he only cares about himself which was stupid and irrelevant and he got pissed

 **L:** im sorry cariño

 **K:** its fine, kitten

 **L:** that nickname again?

 **K:** do you not like it?

 **L:** i do

 **K:** then i'll keep calling you it  
remember when you called me red?

 **L:** course i do rojo

 **K:** what uh  
what were you saying while we were,, y'know

 **L:** ,,,  
nothing

 **K:** c'mon lancey lance

 **L:** fuck you

 **K:** when

 **L:** uHHhH  
i tHINK MARCO IS CALLING ME  
B Y E

Lance's cheeks flush bright red, bottom lip tugged between his teeth. He remembers the feeling of Keith's teeth dragging over his shoulder. Keith's fingertips dancing along his heated skin.

Lance shudders, running his hands over the places Keith had touched. His phone rings by the time he's got his hand in his pants. He groans and pulls it out, breathless, he answers the call.

"Hello?"

 _"Oh- is this- is this a bad time?"_ Nyma asks.

"Nyma! Hi! No this is fine!" Lance sits up, fingers curled around his cell tightly.

_"You just- you sounded like- nevermind. How are you? Your voice has gotten deeper, its sounds good."_

"Ah- thanks. Uhm, I'm good. How are you?"

_"Im good. What'd you do today?"_

Lance chuckles nervously.

"I- uh- Keith and I hung out."

_"Oh really? You two a thing now?"_

"Six months today." Lance smiles.

_"So what'd y'all do?"_

Lance laughs nervously, fiddling with his blanket even though Nyma couldn't see him.

 _"Oh my god! You sly dog!"_ Nyma gasps.

"Shut up!" Lance huffs.

_"So how was it?"_

"Ny'!" Lance squeaks.

_"Oh c'mon I'm just trying to see if he's treating you like a king."_

"Pfft- uh we went to the café here and he bought me some flowers. Then we went to his house and watched netflix for a while. Uh- heh- making out while watching Mary and the Witch's flower was interesting. But- it- uh the sex was good. He was slow and kept asking if I was okay. He's- Nyma, he's so nice. He's the prince charming I wished for in elementary." Lance laughs, wiping at tears.

_"Are you crying?"_

"Yeah.." Lance laughs softly before it develops into sobs.

_"Hey,, you don't need to cry, Lance."._

"What if he realizes how disgusting I am- Ny' what if he leaves me?"

_"Then he's a blind asshole. Lance, he won't leave you. If he just wanted sex he wouldn't have been so caring with you. Believe me when I say you're amazing and anyone who'd do that is a fool."_

"Its just- everyone sees me as someone else but I- I can't get over Lana.. Ny' it's so hard to get over that part of me. Im always going to know what I look like under all of it. I'm always gonna know how I looked before all of this." Lance mutters, weeping. He digs his nails into his upper arms.

_"Lance, you are who you are. Lana is a thing of the past- hell Lana didn't even exist. You were always Lance, from birth. You should see how everyone else views you. For me you're amazing, brave, a- heh- a wonderful kisser, you're so much more than you know. You're funny, sweet, handsome._ **_You_ ** _are Prince Charming."_

Lance hiccups and curls into himself further.

"I- I'm- I'm gonna go-" Lance whispers, pressing the end call button. He tugs his blanket over his head and shoves his face into his sheets.

Loud sobs being muffled by the mattress. He's basically screaming at this point, hands ripping at his hair. Scratching over parts he knew didn't belong. He wanted to rip his skin away.

Tear it all away and leave the scraps for vultures and other scavengers. He was hopeless. He bites into his fist to try and stop his crying, shouting when his teeth dig in too far.

Blood beads and runs down it. He uses the same fist to punch the headboard of his bed. Blood sticking to the pearl colored board.

He does it again and again. Screaming when he hears a crack. That's when Marco and Calliope both rush into Lance's room.

"Lance?!" Marco shouts.

Lance cradles his hand blood from his knuckles on the headboard and his lips. He whines and whimpers. Kicking at Marco when he tries to reach out and touch him.

"OUT! GET OUT!" Lance screams, kicking Marco in the stomach, tears blurring his vision.

Marco doubles over, clutching his stomach.

"Marco- he wants to be alone c'mon.." Calliope mutters, pulling him out of the room.

It takes 2 hours for Lance to calm down. Even then he's still upset. He eventually falls asleep, a few final tears slipping down his cheeks.

Both his lips and eyes were puffy from crying. His hand ached, but he didn't care. It was something and right then he needed it.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of alcohol and recreational drugs!! 
> 
> Hi!! Sorry for scattered updates school is eating my whole ass and I've been sleeping a lot. Sunday I have my dads bday so I'll try to update again before that? I want to get back into my update schedule of every other day? But it's not working lmao. I write almost every day but it's not much bc I have homework most of the time and then go to sleep at 8 bc of Nyquil. I've been sick but im getting better so lets hope I update more soon!
> 
> Also! Keith gets his scar!!

Lance wakes up in the afternoon, fist aching. He groans and cradles the bruised and swollen hand. He stumbles out of bed and out of his room.

"Marco?" Lance whimpers.

"Living room."

Lance pads to the living room, fist clutched to his chest. His eyes puffy from crying, lips bitten and chapped.

"Hey." Calliope gives a small smile.

"Sorry- uh sorry about last night." Lance mutters.

"It's fine." Marco smiles.

"Should we wrap your hand?" Calliope asks.

"Uh yeah probably. Nyma was talking to me last night- and I just- I broke? Its like- I'll always know what I was before this, I'll always know what's under this-" Lance pauses, tugging at his binder.

"I'll always be Lana inside. I just- I want to be- I want to be okay. What- god what if Keith leaves me? I seriously dont know what I'd do without him. Marco- I-I love him so much." Lance was crying again, shoving the heels of his palms against his eyes to try and stop the tears.

Marco is quick to get on his feet and pull Lance into a hug, being careful of Lance's hurt hand.

"Lance, he's not gonna leave you hermano. I promise you, he loves you. I can tell with how he looks at you, especially when he thinks no one is paying attention. I don't think he would leave you, now lets get that hand wrapped and ice it. Yeah?"

Lance nods, wiping at his tears.

"Cal' can you go get the first aid kit?" Marco mutters, pulling Lanfe to the couch.

"Mhm."

Calliope comes back and carefully wraps Lance's hand. Marco places an ice pack on it and they end up watching a movie.

Near dinner which was around 7 because Marco was being lazy, a knock sounds at the door. Lance excuses himself to go answer it.

As soon as he does, Keith is there. Stumbling a bit, soaked with rain. He reeked of alcohol and weed. He had a bruise blossoming on his right eye as well as a deep cut cut up his cheek.

"Keith?!"

"Mm shh shh- Adam 'n Shiro will hear you." Keith mumbles falling against Lance.

"Marco!" Lance shouts, holding Keith up. He shudders when Keith kisses at his neck sloppily.

He huffs and pushes Keith's face away. Marco had made his way to the front door.

"What-" Marco is immediately hit with the smell of alcohol and weed, nose turning up at it.

"Marco what do we do?" Lance whimpers, shifting on his feet.

"He needs water." Marco mutters.

Lance snorts when he hears loud snoring, he shuffles to the couch with Keith drapped over his shoulder. Carefully sitting down with Keith.

"Mm Lance?" Keith drawls, nuzzling his nose against Lance's neck.

"Keith- pfft- stop!" Lance laughs.

Marco and Calliope come back, Calliope holding a glass of water, Marco calling someone.

"Marco who are you calling?"

"Shiro?" Marco raises an eyebrow.

"What?! No! Shiro will kill him."

"Yeah and if we don't call him he'll worry. So I have to." Marco sighs at the tone of the answering machine. He hangs up and calls again.

Calliope hands Lance the glass of water and he holds it to Keith's lips.

"Hey, cariño. Take slow drinks for me." Lance whispers, kissing his forehead. 

"Mm anythin' for you, darlin'" Keith slurs, taking a sip of the water.

Lance wanted to laugh at Keith's accent poking through, but he holds it back.

"Hello?" Marco asks.

_"Uhh- hello?"_

"Is this Takashi?"

_"This is his boyfriend, Adam. Who are you?"_

"Marco, Lance's brother. Uhm- we- we have Keith here? He's- he's heavily intoxicated, so I think- I think we'll keep him here for tonight so you two don't have to cancel your plans."

_"Oh- uh- 'Kashi, Lance's brother is on the phone."_

_"Oh god- is- is Keith there?!"_

"Yeah,, Sir, he's heavily intoxicated. If it's alright by you I'd like to keep him here so you two dont have to get out and cancel your plans or whatever."

_"That's fine.. He's getting his ass chewed when he gets home. Thank you, Marco, we'll get him tomorrow morning."_

"You- you're very pretty- your eyes are like- mmm they're like little- hehe they're swimmin' pools." Keith laughs.

Lance snorts and rolls his eyes.

"You drink your water."

"You gots it pretty boy." Keith takes another drink.

Lance chuckles, pressing a kiss to Keith's forehead. He runs his fingers through Keith's hair.

Keith hums and nuzzles into it, revelling in the feeling.

"Keith, how you feeling honey?" Calliope asks, voice soft as she sits down next to him and Lance.

"Mm feel- feel good. Real good." Keith smiles, eyes hooded.

"Babe.." Keith thinks he whispers.

"Hmm?"

"Can we go- hhnn- your room?"

"'course cariño." Lance smiles.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Lance." Marco warns, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It'll be fine, Marco. I can take care of him." Lance huffs, setting the water down before he helps Keith off the couch.

Lance winces when he hears Keith gag. Marco is quick to help Keith to the bathroom. Lance follows and holds Keith's hair back.

Keith empties the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Hands clutching the toilet as he heaves and pants.

They clean Keith's cut along his cheek and bandage it. Lance pressing a soft kiss to it.

Lance uses his other hand to rub Keith's back, whispering softly to him.

After that they help Keith to Lance's room, Calliope bringing a bucket and the glass of water along with some Advil.

Keith passes out at soon as his head hits Lance's pillow. Lance rolls Keith onto his sides and waves Calliope and Marco out, closing the door after they leave.

Lance hums and takes his shirt and binder off. Slipping into a hoodie, careful of his hand. He keeps his sweatpants on and crawls in bed, spooning Keith. 

The next morning Keith groans, cradling his head as he sits up. Lance's arms tight around his waist. He eyes the Advil and water and unwraps Lance's arms from him, spotting his wrapped hand.

Lance groans and huffs, using his good hand to sit up.

"Hey.." Keith mutters.

"Hi." Lance smiles.

"What happened to your hand?" Keith asks as he grabs the water and Advil, taking two. He quickly drinks the water and chases the pills down.

"I uh- I bit into it then punched my headboard a bunch of times."

"Why??"

"Nyma called me. We got to talking about- about things and I got upest. Its no big deal." Lance shrugs, slipping out of bed.

He shrugs his shirt off and grabs his binder from the floor.

"Can you help me?" Lance asks shyly.

"'Course." Keith stands up, padding over to Lance. He helps him into his binder then spins him around. A playful smirk on his lips.

"Pfft- what are you doing?" Lance laughs.

"What you don't wanna dance with me?" Keith chuckles, swaying with Lance.

"Of course I do." Lance smiles, leaning into Keith.

"Mm do I get a kiss?"

"Nope, you're smelly. You nearly vomited on me last night."

"Oh- I-I'm sorry."

"So you gonna tell me why you show up at my door around 8pm drunk and high with a cut up your cheek?"

"I- no?"

"You gotta tell me c'mon."

"I was an ass to Shiro once again. I felt bad, okay?"

"So you apologize, not drown your liver. How much did you drink anyways?"

"Like- like a bottle?"

"A bottle of?"

"Shiro's good wine..."

"Oh my God." Lance snorts, pulling Keith to the bed.

"Shh don't remind me."

"And the cut?"

"I guess I got in a fight on the way here and someone cut me." Keith shrugs.

"Oh my- Keith you bad boy." Lance teases, laughing.

"Whatever." Keith huffs.

"Broody boy." Lance chuckles, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.

"Mmph don't do that."

"Awe why not?"

"Because it feels nice."

"Mhm. So, you think my eyes look like little swimming pools~" Lance snickers.

"Oh my God- what else did I say."

"Not much darlin'~" Lance exaggerates the southern accent, chuckling afterwards.

"I dont sound like that." Keith whines.

"You called me pretty boy." Lance smiles.

"Cause you are pretty."

"See! You do sound like that! Cause you are pretty." Lance mocks a heavy southern accent.

"Shut up!" Keith whines.

"You'll have to make me darlin'~" Lance snorts.

Keith growls and smashes his lips against Lance's. Lance's eyes widen before they flutter shut, hand wresting upon Keith's cheek.

"I love you." They both whisper against each others lips.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so my aunt is fucking h o r r i b l e.  
> Anywho sorry if ANY translation is wrong I'm very limited with my knowledge of Spanish and Korean. I should use Duolingo instead of fucking Google translate but I'm stupid lmao.

The cutesy dancing didn't last much longer. Keith's phone rang from Lance's desk.

"I- I better answer that." Keith mutters, padding over to it. He picks it up and places it to his ear after pressing the accept button.

_"Ill be there in 20 minutes. We'll be having a long talk and you'll be grounded longer."_

And the call ends.

Keith sighs and sets it down.

"Guess we'd better make the most of the 20 minutes cause I have no idea when I'll see you." Keith mutters, taking a seat on the bed.

Lance sits next to him, taking Keith's hands into his.

"Hey, he lets you go to Pidge's so I'll just come see you like that if they're chill with it. Plus I miss that gremlin." Lance smiles.

"I don't think he's gonna let me do anything which isn't a good idea." Keith mutters.

"Don't- don't talk like that, Keith." Lance mumbles, squeezing Keith's hands.

"I'm sorry. It just seriously isn't and sure- I'm sure he's gonna force me back onto that shit. Its just- its like he doesn't listen to me about everything."

"I know, but you also dont listen to him, cariño. He's only doing this because he cares."

"I know that but- he just- ugh. Lance he's difficult."

"Babe, see his side of things too and help him to see your side." Lance presses his lips to Keith's.

Keith pushes forward, moving his hands from Lance's so he can cup his cheeks.

Lance smiles against Keith's lips, running his hands through Keith's hair.

Keith hums, running his tongue teasingly over Lance's lips.

Lance parts his lips, allowing Keith to slip his tongue in. Their kiss gets heated quickly, Keith helping Lance lay back. Caging him in with his arms.

Lance pulls away, panting slightly. Cheeks flushed pink.

"M-more." Lance mumbles.

Keith eagerly complies, sitting on Lance's waist. He surges forward and kisses Lance. Nibbling lightly at his bottom lip.

Lance moans softly, the sound being swallowed up by Keith. He balls a hand in the sheets and places the other on Keith's hip.

As soon as Keith has his shirt off and Lance has his binder off Keith's phone rings. He groans, burying his face into the crook of Lance's neck.

"You gotta go, cariño."

"I know." Keith sighs, he grabs his phone and answers.

_"I'm here."_

"Ok-" the other end clicks end.

Keith growls, slamming his phone against Lance's bed. He kisses Lance again, full of love. It felt like goodbye to Lance.

"I- I really dont want you to go." Lance mutters, allowing Keith to help him back into his binder.

"I know. I dont wanna go either." Keith sighs, another kiss. That leads to another. And a couple more.

"Just- go before I cry." Lance laughs.

"Fine. I love you. So much."

"I love you too, jerk. Stop getting grounded."

"Walk me out?"

"Of course." Lance smiles.

When they get out of the apartment building Lance leans up, cupping Keith's face.

"Mantente seguro para mí cariño. Te quiero mucho."

"I have no idea what you just said." Keith laughs.

"Keep safe for me darling. I love you so much." Lance smiles.

"Sarang-hae." Keith smiles.

"Hmm?"

"I love you." Keith laughs, forehead pressed against Lance's.

"I'll miss you." Lance mumbles, tearing up as he presses his lips to Keith's.

Keith kisses him, pulling away a minute later. He thumbs away Lance's tears and smiles.

"Its not goodbye you goof."

"Sure in the hell feels like it." Lance laughs bitterly.

"Its fine, darlin'" Keith chuckles.

"Fucking southerner." Lance teases.

"You fucked this southerner." Keith snorts.

"Pfft- you can leave now."

"Do you regret it?"

"Of course not babe. Now- I love you but I can see Shiro give me the death eye. Get your sweet ass in his car before I drag you back inside and-"

Keith's cheeks heat up.

"Okay! Going! I'm going!" Keith squeaks.

"When you get back I'll teach you some Spanish and you can figure out what I said that night." Lance winks.

"Oh my God- don't fucking- I hate you."

"I love you too cariño~!" Lance smiles, pushing Keith. As he walks off Lance wolf whistles, a wolfish grin across his face with Keith turns around glaring with his cheeks bright red.

Lance laughs and waits for Shiro to drive off with Keith to go back inside.

The rest of the day he talks to Hunk, Pidge and Nyma.

_"Hey, are you better from the other night? I didn't mean to make you cry."_

"You didn't make me cry, Ny' I just got worked up." Lance shrugs, computers camera focused on him.

_"You've filled out."_

"Shut up." Lance laughs, shoulders shaking.

 _"Im not joking! Damn I jealous of that Kogane kid."_ Nyma laughs.

"Pfft-"

_"So how are things?"_

"They're good. We- we almost ended up... doing it again."

_"Damn, Lance."_

"Hush. I really do love him." Lance sighs.

_"I know. He loves you too, Lance."_

"I know." Lance smiles.

_"When are you visiting?"_

"Just a couple more months. 3."

_"Christmas?"_

"I- I wanna bring Keith, but- papa." Lance mutters.

 _"Fuck your dad. Not- not literally."_ Nyma laughs.

"Obviously. I just- Mami- what if she doesn't like him?"

_"Then she sucks. I don't know this Keith dude, but he loves you and that should be enough to accept him."_

"Thanks Ny'"

 _"No problem._ " Nyma smiles.

They have idle conversation the rest of the night until Lance nearly passes out. Only jolting awake when his phone chimes.

_> >>Keith>>>_

**K:** so shiro is letting me keep my phone  
but he's grounding me from your house for a month which is bullshit.

 **L:** at least we can Skype.

 **K:** heres the other thing  
he says you can come over during the month but only if him or adam are here.

 **L:** okay?

 **K:** and I can't close my door

 **L:** poor baby~

 **K:** shut up  
teach me Spanish :(

 **L:** tomorrow  
im so tired i fell asleep on call with Nyma.

 **K:** thats our thing

 **L:** you were offline :((

 **K:** im sorry babe

 **L:** its fine  
im gonna call you on my laptop.

 **K:** okay  
beware i dont have a shirt on

 **L:** even better

 **K:** gross

Lance laughs, calling Keith. He gets an immediate answer, Keith's face and chest in the video.

"Sweaty."

_"Yeah, sorry."_

"Why?"

_"I was working out."_

"Mm pays off."

_"Can you teach me a little Spanish?"_

"Mm a little."

 _"Okay. Hold on- I wanna write it down."_ Keith moves his laptop from his lap and reaches to grab a pen and paper.

Lance wolf whistles, watching Keith's muscles roll.

_"God- you are literally a ball of years of pent up-"_

"Shut up. The testosterone fucks with me. I'm literally going through a second puberty. You're acting like you're not just as bad." Lance huffs, cheeks flushed. .

 _"I'm just playing with you babe."_ Keith laughs, getting comfortable again.

"Hmph."

_"So we starting with the basics or we getting straight into-"_

"Hola, como estas."

_"Uhh- I remember that from Spanish 1. Hello, how are you?"_

"Bien."

_"Good."_

"Buen chico." Lance smiles.

_"Did you just-"_

"Te amo cariño."

_"_ _G-good boy. I love you darling."_

"Buenas noches mi amor."

_"G-good night my love?"_

"Yes. Now I'm going to sleep." Lance laughs.

_"Laaance."_

"Nope, night cariño."

_"You're insufferable."_

"Love you too babe."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so there's a time skip bc I'm lazy??
> 
> But like yeah its near Christmas now.
> 
> Also possibly correct Spanish wowie

"¡Hola mamá!" Lance grins, talking to his mother over the phone.

_"Marco, why do you have Lance's phone?"_

"Mamá it's me, Lance." Lance laughs.

_"¡Dios mío! ¿Cómo estás hijo?"_

"Muy bien Mamá. ¿Y tu?"

_"¡Bien! Te extraño hijo."_

"I miss you too Mamá."

_"You're coming to see me right?"_

"¡Sí, por supuesto!"

_"Good! And Marco?"_

"Yes mamá. Is it alright if I bring someone home?"

_"A boy? A girl?"_

"A boy mamá. His name is Keith."

_"Of course you can bring him hijo."_

"Thank you mamá."

_"Don't thank me, I want to meet this boy."_

"Okay, you will. I've got to tell him and get packed." Lance smiles.

_"Okay hijo, be safe!"_

"I will mamá."

_"Te quiero."_

"Te quiero también. Bye mamá." Lance ends the call, setting the phone down.

"What was all that?" Keith asks.

"I was calling my mamá while you were taking a hundred years in the shower."

"Mm and?"

"She wants you to come over to celebrate the holidays."

"Really?" Keith asks, drying his hair with one hand. Muscles rippling under the taught skin.

"God put a shirt on." Lance huffs, cheeks flushed.

"You enjoy it any other time." Keith chuckles tossing the damp towel into his clothes hamper.

"Shut up."

Keith smiles and presses a kiss to Lance's lips. Lance chuckles, hands resting on Keith's chest.

Keith hums and cages Lance in with his arms. He presses soft kisses all around Lance's face before trailing down his neck.

"Pfft- don't get carried away mamá will kill me if I show up to her house covered with hickeys."

Keith smiles and pulls away from Lance's neck, leaning in close to his face. Eyes hooded, lips parted and barely touching Lance's. Warm breath fanning over Lance's lips.

He grabs a shirt from the bed and pulls away before Lance has the chance to kiss him.

"You ass." Lance whines.

"Te quiero~" Keith coos.

"I shouldn't have ever taught you Spanish." Lance huffs.

"Why? 'Cause now I know what you're saying when I'm- mmph!"

Lance surges forward, kissing Keith to get him to shut up.

"Shut the hell up." He growls low against Keith's lips, shoving him backwards to his desk.

Keith's eyes widen and he chuckles, stumbling backwards until his backside hits his desk. Holding back a grin so he can kiss Lance back.

Lance pulls away, a smirk on his face.

"Better get to packing, Kogane. We'll pick you up tomorrow." Lance whispers low near Keith's ear, grabbing his messenger bag from the desk.

He presses a soft kiss to Keith's cheek and heads out of Keith's room.

"Bye Takashi, bye Adam!" Lance smiles, waving to the couple on the couch.

Keith sits there, dumbfounded and starstruck.

"H-hey!" Keith squeaks, rushing from his room the the living room to see Lance gone.

"Lovesick fool." Adam snickers.

Keith huffs, heading back to his room.

"By the way Lance invited me to his home for the holidays."

"Uhh? Okay?" Shiro calls from the living room.

"Not here, like his home home." Keith shouts.

Shiro squints, getting up from the couch.

"Let him go Takashi. They'll be around adults, his brother Marco. His girlfriend, Lance's mother, Lance's siblings."

"...Fine. You can go, but you have to call me every day." Shiro sighs.

"Wait- really?" Keith's eyes widen as he exits his room, checking to see if Adam has Shiro at gunpoint or some shit.

"Yes, really."

"W-wow I didn't- I didn't expect you to say yes. He said they'll pick me up tomorrow."

"Jeez- so you'll be there for what- a week?"

"Yeah. Can I like- borrow some money for the plane and a present?"

"Of course, only cause you're doing what's right."

"I'll pay you guys back." Keith smiles.

"Uh huh." Adam laughs.

"Hush nobody asked for your snide remarks." Keith jokes.

"Mhm." Adam snorts.

Shiro hands a card to Keith.

"I was going to wait for college to give this to you, but you're responsible now so you can have it." Shiro smiles.

"Thank you." Keith smiles, hugging Shiro.

Shiro's eyes widen in shock before he smiles, hugging back.

"No problem." He ruffles Keith's hair.  
  


Keith was restless. What if Lance's family didnt like him? What if they didn't actually want him there?

So many thoughts run through his head, he sits up and opens his laptop. A skype call comes through as he does. He answers and gives a small smile.

_"Hey."_

"Can't sleep?"

_"Nope."_

"Yeah, me too."

_"Any particular reason?"_

"Nope."

_"You lying?"_

"Psh- no."

_"Mhm."_

"Whatever, just talk to me." Keith smiles.

 _"I am talking to you."_ Lance laughs.

"You're so mean babe."

_"Me? Mean? I would never."_

"You are the meanest!"

_"Mhm suure."_

Keith smiles.

_"Sing for me."_

"I don't have anything to sing." Keith laughs.

_"Sure you do babe. Use that amazing brain of yours."_

"Pfft- amazing?"

_"Mhm~ Amazing, beautiful, intelligent, wonderous, sexy-"_

"You suck up." Keith laughs.

 _"illsucksomethingup."_ Lance mumbles quickly under his breath.

"What?"

_"I said play me a song you butt."_

"Mhm, sure. Let me grab my guitar."

_"Wait wont you wake Shiro?"_

"He's at Adam's."

_"Oh fun. So you had to make dinner yourself? Did you burn anything down?"_

"Does it look like I burned anything down." Keith laughs.

 _"No, but I could be wrong. Okay- play for me pretty please~"_ Lance coos.

"Fine." Keith clears his throat, before he begins to strum on the guitar. He takes a deep breath and lets it out.

_I guess you don't need it_  
_I guess you don't want me to repeat it_  
_But everything I have to give I'll give to you_

 

_It's not like we planned it_  
_You tried to stay, but you could not stand it_  
_To see me shut down slow_  
_As though it was an easy thing to do_  
_Listen when_  
_All of this around us will fall over_

 

_I tell you what we're gonna do_  
_Hey, you will shelter me, my love_  
_And I, I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_

 

_I left you heartbroken_  
_But not until those very words were spoken_  
_Has anybody ever made such a fool out of you_

 

_It's hard to believe it_  
_Even as my eyes do see it_  
_The very things that make you live are killing you_  
_Listen when all of this around us will fall over_

 

_I tell you what we're gonna do_  
_Hey, you will shelter me, my love_  
_And I, I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_

 

_Listen when_  
_All of this around us will fall over_  
_I tell you what we're gonna do_  
_Hey, you will shelter me, my love_  
_And I, I will shelter you_  
_If you shelter me too_  
_I will shelter you_  
_I will shelter you_

When Keith opens his eyes Lance has the fondest smile on his face that he's ever seen. And in that moment Keith knew, 100% that he was whipped, head over heels in love with Lance McClain. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¡Dios mío! ¿Cómo estás hijo?: my god! how are you son?
> 
> Muy bien ¿Y tu: very good/well and you?
> 
> ¡Bien! Te extraño hijo: good/well I miss you son
> 
> ¡Sí! Por supuesto: yes of course
> 
> Te quiero: I love you
> 
> Te quiero también: I love you too


	43. Chapter 43

Shortly after the song they talk a bit more before Lance starts to nod off.

"Why don't you just sleep, babe."

_"_ _Mmgh_ _I'm up."_

"No you aren't." Keith laughs, smiling at Lance.

 _"Quit being so- so bright."_ Lance grumbles, shoving his face into his sweater.

"Did you take your binder off?"

_"Its been off."_

"Good."

_"Oh god-_ _Abuela_ _is going to be at my_ _Mamás_ _."_

"Is that- is that bad?"

 _"That's fucking horrible- Keith- Keith she doesn't fucking know."_ Lance had shot up, hands making their way into his hair. Tugging harshly at the brunette locks.

 _"Oh god- this is- Keith- Keith what do I do? My voice- my-"_ Lance felt like there was a weight on his chest. An anvil crushing his lungs.

He felt like there were hands wrapping around his throat. He sobs and hiccups.

"Lance- Lance look at me." Keith sits up, fingers itching to hold him.

Lance's eyes snap to Keith's face, hands still tugging at his hair.

"It's going to be okay- who cares what your abuela has to say. You're you, you're not some- some stranger. If she can't accept you for who you are and for who you have _always_ been then she- she just doesn't deserve you. She doesn't deserve to be called family and be told that she's loved by you."

_"I'm not only worried about that! You! I'm worried about you.. What if- what if_ _mamá_ _doesn't accept- or papi? Is he- is he even still with_ _mamá_ _?"_

"Lance, its going to be okay. Just- I'll be there in 15."

_"What? Keith- no- no it's- fine- it's 3am- you cant- no-"_

"Shush. I'm coming over. You need me- and- I'm nervous too. Believe me." Keith smiles, getting out of bed.

 _"Keith- no- no you- that's dangerous, you can't walk around at 3am!"_ Lance squeaks, mind taken off of the fact of his family.

"I can handle my own. Will it make you feel safer if I have a knife with me?"

_"Yes? No? I don't- Keith.."_

"Nope. You can't change my mind. Now you be safe and don't do anything stupid." Keith says, slipping into pants and a shirt.

_"Keith. Stay, please."_

Keith huffs, getting back in frame.

"You need me.."

_"I can live with seeing you through a screen."_

"I wanna hold you."

_"Keith- respect my wishes, please."_

Keith sighs, stripping from the jeans and shirt he had put on, slipping back into bed.

_"Thank you.."_

"Mhm."

It takes a while for Lance to fall asleep. Keith rambling on about Shiro and Adam to help him sleep.

When he sees Lance asleep with a smile on his face, he then lays down and falls asleep.

The morning was hell.

"Keeeith! Get up I wanna hang out with you before you leave!" Pidge whines, shaking Keith.

"Fuck off." Keith groans.

"Hang out with me!!"

"You're acting like a child." Keith grumbles, sitting up so the gremlin would stop shaking hin.

"Shut up. Come to the ice cream parlor with me." Pidge huffs.

"Okay can I get dressed." Keith groans.

"Yeah yeah." Pidge sighs, heading out of Keith's bedroom.

Keith rubs his face, smiling at Lance who's somehow still asleep.

"Lance?" Keith mutters.

_"_ _Mmh_ _10 minutes_ _mamá_ _."_

Keith laughs and chuckles.

"Wake up, Lance."

 _"_ _Urgh_ _\- what do you want."_ Lance grumbles, voice groggy from sleep.

"I'm going out to the ice cream parlor with Pidge and Matt, join if you feel like it."

_"Mkay."_

"Ill see you later." Keith smiles.

_"_ _Mhm_ _"_

Keith's ends the call and shuts his laptop. He slips into a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, he grabs a jacket too and his beanie.

Slipping his beanie on his head. He shoves his feet into his boots and grabs his phone.

Keith opens his door and steps out of his room.

"Ready?" Keith sighs.

"Yep! We're gonna eat ice cream til we puke." Pidge grins.

"You are, I'm not."

"You're no fun, Keith." Matt pouts.

Matt had grown some. His hair had gotten some length to it, he got taller, and he definitely had more muscles than he used to.

In that moment Shiro and Adam had walked through the door.

"Oh." Shiro mutters.

Matt's cheeks heat up and he bites the inside of his left one. He fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

"So! That ice cream!" Matt says awkwardly, voice cracking in some places. He sounded choked up like he was going to cry.

"Yeah, Matt. I wanna say hi to Shiro and,,"

"Adam." Adam smiles.

"God this is awkward, Adam, do you wanna- do you wanna go like- right now?"

"No, I wanna get to know Keith's friends. He only brings Lance over."

"Pidge, Keith, we should really get going, yeah? I mean there's 32 original flavors just waiting for us at the parlor! And Keith- y'know he's leaving on that uh- that plane in just a couple hours. How you gonna get yourself to puke if we don't go immediately!" Matt squeaks, clearly uncomfortable.

"Fine by me. Bye Shiro, Adam." Keith shrugs.

Matt doesn't visibly relax until he has walked past Shiro. But he immediately tensed when a prosthetic hand had grabbed a hold of his arm.

"Can I talk to you."

"I dont know can you? I mean thats what you asked right before- y'know what- Takashi, I don't need this." Matt sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

"Matt, please."

"No! You- you ruined things! I dont understand how you can- can just- just fall out of love with someone! Were you- were you talking to him while we were dating? Is that why? Is that why- that why I'm-" Matt swallows the lump in his throat and pulls his arm away from Shiro.

"Nope! Not- not doing this- nope nope- I'm gonna eat ice cream with my two favorite cryptids and its all gonna be cool! Gucci! Amazing." Matt rambles on, pulling Pidge and Keith by the arm.

"Are- are you okay?" Keith asks.

"Fine." Matt smiles.

Pidge glances at Keith and Keith shrugs.

"Ice cream." Matt mutters.

"What was all that about." Adam laughs.

"That- That's my ex." Shiro sighs.

"Oh." Adam mumbles.

"He- he was my best friend and I- I fucking threw that away- I pushed him aside." Shiro whispers, voice shaking.

"You didn't-"

"I did! I fucking- Adam, can I be alone right now?" Shiro sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah.. Ill be at my place." Adam mutters, patting Shiro on the shoulder as he leaves.

Shiro finally lets out the sob he had been holding as soon as the front door shuts. He walks to his room with shaky legs. Wrapping himself under his blankets, he sobs and shakes.

What did he do?

Meanwhile Matt and Pidge had every flavor in the parlor. Matt was shovelling rocky road and vanilla into his mouth while Pidge was working on some peanut butter one.

Keith simply eats his vanilla ice cream. He was never one to be extravagant with his ice cream. He liked how plain vanilla was.

Matt shrieks when he gets a brain freeze, women and men turning to their table.

"Sorry he has Tourettes." Pidge says to them.

Mat snorts, choking on his ice cream. He gags and places his hand over his mouth.

"No! Matt don't throw up without me!" Pidge huffs.

"Its happening-" Matt mutters before rushing to the bathroom.

"Why do you guys do this."

"Its fun you should do it again."

"I'd rather not." Keith laughs.

"Buzz kill." Pidge huffs, going back to shovelling her 15th flavor into her mouth.

"Okay I'm back!" Matt sits back down, going straight back to shovelling the ice cream down his gullet.

This was a frequent thing between the Holt siblings. They'd see who could eat ice cream the fastest then throw up. They were also lactose intolerant so that probably wasn't the best idea.

20 minutes later both Matt and Pidge are finished with their ice cream.

Pidge pants, burping a few times.

"We gotta go home." Pidge laughs.

"Why?"

"We're lactose you fucking numb nut."

"Shit."

"Shit is right now c'mon I'm gonna throw up in Mrs.Rideout's yard." Pidge snorts, scooting Keith out of the booth.

"We'll see ya in a couple days Keithy boy." Matt smiles, patting him on the back.

They leave Keith to walk home alone. He sighs and leaves after picking up Matt and Pidge's styrofoam bowls. Trashing them before he heads home.

"Shiro?"

"'m in my room." Shiro groans.

His nose sounded like it was running and his voice was scratchy.

"Well I wanted to tell you Lance will be here soon."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Watch a movie with me before you leave." Shiro huffs.

Keith opens the bedroom door, slipping inside.

"Have you been crying?" Keith asks.

"What- Pfft- no? I have- allergies.."

"Shiro you have literally no allergies."

"Man then- god I must be getting sick."

"Shiro, what's wrong?"

"Nothing I can't just pour my feelings out on you." Shiro laughs.

"Course you can."

"No it's fine just watch a movie with me, its gonna be quiet here." Shiro huffs.

"Sorry."

"It's fine." Shiro smiles.

They end up watching Scott Pilgrim vs the World because it's Shiro's favorite movie. That and it had been released on Netflix and Shiro was watching it non-stop. He knew all the words to the movie.

At the end of it a knock sounds at the front door.

"I guess youve gotta go." Shiro sighs.

"I guess."

"Ill see you soon." Shiro ruffles Keith's hair.

Keith smiles and hugs him.

"Thanks, I needed that." Shiro laughs.

"No problem." Keith slips out of the bed and to the living room so he can open the door.

"You ready?"

"Yeah let me get my bag." Keith smiles, heading to his room.

Shiro smiles as a couple tears slip down his cheeks, his brother was all grown up.   
  



	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof Trigger warning dysohoria and scratching!!

The plane ride was annoying. Crying babies, snoring women and men, loud music.

"Are planes always this horrible?" Keith groans.

"Probably." Lance snorts.

"The flight I took home for your birthday was horrible, hermano." Marco laughs.

Calliope was unusually quiet.

"You okay Cal'?"

"Uhh- nervous." She smiles.

"About the plane or meeting mamá and papi?" Lance asks.

"Both?" She laughs.

"They'll love you." Marco smiles.

"What if they don't?"

"Then fuck 'em Cal' I love you and that's all that matters." Marco kisses her temple.

They were lucky to all have gotten seats in the same row.

Keith yawns and lays his head on Lance's shoulder.

"Tired?" Lance chuckles.

"Very." Keith smiles, laughing softly. Little puffs of air hitting Lance's neck.

Lance's cheeks heat up, stupid testosterone fucking with his sex drive.

"You tired?" Keith asks

"No. Quit breathing on my neck." Lance huffs.

Keith laughs again, blowing a steady stream of air right against his pulse point.

"Okay thats enough." Marco sighs.

"Its not my fault!" Lance whines.

The plane finally lands an hour later. They wait in the airport for Camilla to pick them up, Lance sitting nervously in a chair.

"Hey, its gonna be okay." Keith whispers, playing with Lance's hair that had grown out a bit. He really needed a hair cut.

The back of it had grown steadily down his neck. His face had also grown a bit of hair, eyebrows thicker. His jawline was more defined and squarish.

Lance had also started to work out, growing a bit of muscle. Swimming got his legs looking good and he also did push ups a bit.

"I look completely different, Keith. I can't- I can't face them." Lance whimpers.

"You can. Who cares if you look different? You look amazing, and you are finally getting comfortable with yourself. Don't let someones opinion change you." Keith smiles, pressing a kiss to Lance's lips, soft and passionate.

"C'mon lovebirds quit sucking face, mamá is here." Marco chuckles.

Lance and Keith's faces both heat up. Lance stands up first and then Keith. Grabbing their bags from the floor they head out of the airport with Marco and Calliope.

"Im nervous." Lance whispers.

"Its your family babe."

"Exactly." Lance whimpers.

Keith grabs Lance's free hand and squeezes it.

"I'm here for you m-mi amor?"

Lance smiles and nods his head, squeezing Keith's hand as well.

"¡Hijos!" Lance's mom sobs as she sees them approaching the van.

She takes Lance and Marco into her hold, hugging them tightly.

"Hey mamá." Marco laughs.

"Hi mamá." Lance says shyly.

"¡Te he extrañado tanto!" She cries.

"Mamá." Lance whines.

"Lo siento lo siento mijo. Who's this?" She asks, releasing the two from her hold.

"Mamá, este es Keith, mi novio."

"Ah- hola Sra.McClain."

"Just call me Camilla mijo." She smiles before she turn to Marco and Calliope.

"And who's this wonderful lady?"

"Hah- I'm Calliope." Calliope smiles, nervous.

"Its nice to meet you. Marco been treating you well?"

"Very, hes a good man."

"Good to hear."

"Is- is abuela there?" Lance asks.

"She's coming in a couple days, she doesn't know about you yet."

"Ah okay."

As soon as they reach the house and Lance gets out of the car he's tackled into a hug. Nyma to be exact.

"Lance!" She laughs, smiling wide.

Lance's breath is knocked out of him when he hits the grass. Keith stands to the side with a scowl on his face. Nyma was straddling Lance's waist.

"Ny' hey can you-" Lance grunts.

"Sorry." She gets off of him and helps him up.

"Its so good to see you!" Nyma grins, hugging him tightly.

"Good to see you too Ny' uhm- wanna meet Keith?"

"Oh right." Nyma mutters, releasing Lance from her hold.

Lance smiles and grabs Keith's hand.

"Keith, Nyma. Nyma, Keith."

"Hi, I've heard a lot about you." Nyma smiles.

"Heard some about you too." Keith says coldly.

"Keith, be nice." Lance sighs.

"Well I better let you spend time with your family, you're welcome down at my house later if you wanna swing by." She smiles before heading off.

"I don't like her." Keith mutters.

"I know, but she's my friend." Lance sighs.

"I know. She's give me bad vibes." Keith mutters

"You'll just have to put up with it hon'" Lance chuckles, pulling Keith inside the house.

"Let's go see if we can find Blue." Lance smiles, walking backwards up the stairs.

"How are you walking backwards- Jesus i can't even walk facing forward." Keith laughs.

"Memory of the house I guess." Lance shrugs.

"You think he's in your room?"

"Hopefully. I dont wanna go into Luis' room while he's not here." Lance snorts, opening the door to his bedroom.

He turns around and the color drains from his face. Everything was how he had left it. Femininity in all its glory.

"Hey, you okay?" Keith asks.

Lance swallows hard and nods, looking at Blue's habitat.

"Hey baby." Lance coos as he walks over to it. Opening it up he lets Blue wrap around his arm and slither up.

"I missed you, did you miss me?" Lance whispers, pressing a kiss to Blue's midsection.

Keith takes a seat on Lance's bed and yawns. Jetlag was a bitch and Keith was just now experiencing it for the first time.

Lance sits next to him and Blue slides across Lance's lap and onto Keith's.

"I'm tired." Keith whines to Lance, placing his head in the crook of his neck.

"Then let me put Blue up and we can take a nap." Lance smiles, picking Blue back up. He lets him slither into his habitat and then closes it up tight.

Keith kicks his shoes off and waits for Lance to do the same. Lance clambers into bed and gets under the blanket. Keith does the same and pulls Lance close to him.

"I love you." Keith smiles.

"I love you too." Lance hums

  
Lance wakes up about an hour later and decides to take a shower. He grabs his clothes then heads to his bathroom. Slipping from his clothes he throws them in the dirty basket and sets his clean ones on the sink.

Lance takes a deep breath and looks in the mirror. His skin crawls and he shudders. This was not his body.

He wished he could just be comfortable with himself. The longer he looks at himself the more flaws he finds. He feels bile rushing to his throat and he rushes over to the toilet. Emptying the contents of his stomach.

He wipes at his mouth and flushes the toilet. Lance sighs and starts the shower, hot water only. He climbs in and allows the water to scorch his skin as tears fall freely.

He doesnt allow himself to sob. He wanted to wash away everything. Scrub at himself until his skin rubbed off and washed down the drain.

This house wasn't good for him. He tries as hard as he can to ignore dysohoria that's slowly tightening around his mind. Taking up all the space there for any rational thoughts.

He claws and scratches at his skin, wishing it felt normal. He felt like he was walking around in someone elses body.

Around 30 minutes later when the water goes cold he steps out and dries himself off. Wiping at the fog on the mirror, he sighs.

Red indents where his nails had made long scratches. He slips into his clean clothes and throws his towel in the laundry basket.

Whimpering at the way his shirt was rubbing against his arms and where he had rubbed raw with his rag.

"Stupid." He mutters as he exits the bathroom.

Keith is sitting up, his hair messed horribly. He rubs at his eyes and yawns.

"Hey." Lance smiles. He couldnt wear his binder right then. He was uncomfortable and wishing he hadn't taken a shower.

"You okay?" Keith asks

"Yeah- yeah- fine." Lance sits on the bed and flinches when the door opens.

"Mamá says come down for dinner." Veronica smiles.

"Alright, just a minute Ronny." Lance smiles.

"You ready?"

"As I'll ever be." Lance sighs.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay um this chapter could be triggering to some people I think? I'm not sure on what will trigger people so I'm going to go ahead and add this warning.   
> If any of the following trigger you I urge you not to read the dinner scene and basically Lance's panic attack. I'll put spacers between or at least try. 
> 
>  
> 
> So these are the following that could be potentially triggering: dysphoria, homophobic and transphobic slurs, homophobia and transphobia, vomiting, scratching as a means of self harm during panic attack, pulling hair as a means of self harm during panic attack, also there is use of Lance's deadname and the incorrect pronouns which triggers his dysphoria further and thus triggers his panic attack after dinner.
> 
>  
> 
> Afterwards there is cuddling and a movie, the dinner part is crucial to show Lance and his father's relationship, the only good part out of it is Keith standing up for Lance, but please don't read the parts if those warnings bother you. 
> 
> There will be a summary at the end it's quite vague but its better than nothing.

There had been 2 chairs moved to the family table for Calliope and Keith. Keith sits next to Lance holding hands underneath the table.

His father reeked of alcohol and cigarette smoke. Lance grimaces and tries to breathe through his   
mouth.   
  
  
  
  


  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_**!DINNER SCENE HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, SLURS, USE OF DEADNAME AND INCORRECT PRONOUNS.** _   
  


"Lana pass the bread." Lance's father grumbles.

"Its Lance." Lance sighs, handing the basket of bread to his dad.

His dad scoffs and takes a swig of the whiskey sat on his right side.

"The hell did you do to your voice?" And your body. You're just following a trend, Lana."

Lance bites on his tongue and squeezes Keith's hand tightly.

"At least you finally don't like girls. Couldn't handle my daughter bein' a faggot and a tranny."

Lance sighs, picking at his food.

"No offense sir, but what the hell is your problem?" Keith growls.

"My problem? My problem is that I raised her to be better."

"Him! You raised him to be worse than he is. You are manipulative, disgusting, a drunk! You have no right to say these things to your son who is going places and doing things with his life rather than making people feel shitty about themselves. You are nothing better than a pig. A disgusting pig headed bigot."

"Keith thats enough." Lance whispers.

"It's not enough, Lance. He doesnt deserve to be loved he doesn't deserve to be called father. He is disgusting and blind to happiness. He drowns his sorrows in alcohol and hopes that he dies! I've seen this before, Lance. Dads are nothing but pigs." Keith growls.

The table is silent.

"You don't deserve an amazing son like Lance." Keith's voice had been shaking, it finally evened out.

"You said that better than anyone of us could." Marco mutters.

The rest of dinner was awkward. It was quiet besides the clinking and scraping of silverware on the plates, the chewing and swallowing.

"So, Keith you live with.."

"My brother."

"Oh, what does he do?" Camilla smiles.

"He's a police officer, just graduated from the academy with his boyfriend."

"So you're home alone a lot?"

"I usually spend a lot of time at Marco's so I can be with Lance."

"You two fuck yet." Veronica chuckles.

"Veronica!" Camilla shouts, slapping her upside the back of the head lightly.

"Mamá!" She whines, rubbing the spot that had been hit.

Both Lance and Keith's faces were bright red.

"Lance!" His mom gasps.

"We used protection!" Lance shouts, cheeks bright red.

"That isn't any better mijo!"

"¡Lo siento mamá!"

"Just- be careful, please. We don't need any grandbabies yet." Camilla laughs.

"We don't need anymore faggots either."

"Will you stop it." Camilla hisses, staring her husband down.

Keith digs his nails into his thigh, biting his tongue.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_**!AFTER DINNER SCENE, POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING PANIC ATTACK!** _   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


After dinner Lance tugs Keith back to his room and flops onto the floral patterned comforter. Keith follows suit, the two of the staring up at that ceiling that had glow stars scattered on it.

"God I hate him." Lance sighs

"Hes such a prick!" Keith says exasperated.

"I know."

"I wanna fucking punch him." Keith growls

"Who doesn't." Lance laughs bitterly.

"You okay?"

"I just- I wish he wouldn't be like that." Lance whimpers.

"Some people just cant accept that people are happy with these things." Keith mutters, pressing a kiss to Lance's forehead.

"I know but you'd think my own father would support me!" Lance whimpers.

"I know- I know. I feel the same, Lance. I wish he'd support you and accept that this is who you are, but you cant change some peoples mindsets."

Lance sighs, still feeling the hold of dysphoria. It tightens and drowns out any rational thoughts.

"Keith- I'm- I'm never gonna pass." Lance whispers.

"What? Lance- you're- you're passing right now."

"Look at my body Keith." Lance's voice cracks.

"Your body is perfect."

"Quit lying to me..please. I'm never- I'm never gonna look masculine enough. My hips are too wide, my chest too big. Keith- there's too many feminine attributes to me to look masculine."

Keith didnt know what to say. He isn't good with feelings. He doesn't know the right words to reassure Lance.

Lance begins to tug at his hair. Breath quick and heart rate up. He allows tears to fall as panic sets in.

He feels bile burn the back of his throat and he can't make it to the bathroom. Vomit spilling from his mouth and nose.

He pants and heaves, nose and throat burning. He sobs and sniffles, hands running down from his hair to his shoulders  
Nails sighing roughly into them.

Lance stands up on wobbly legs before Keith can grab him and runs into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind him. He locks it and begins scratching away at his skin.

Picking and peeling the skin from his fingers and lips. He hiccups and feels bile rush up his throat again.

Scrambling to the toilet he empties his stomach and clutches the white bowl of the toilet. Panting harshly, hair sticking to his forehead. Sweating horribly.

Lance lays against the cold wall and floor and tries to calm down. Failing horribly. He panics badly and ends up passing out.   
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Here's the only scene that won't be triggering.**   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He wakes up 30 minutes later in Keith's arms.

"H-how." He stutters.

"I- I picked the lock." Keith mutters, fingers carding through Lance's hair.

Lance chews on his cheek, humming slightly. He felt a bit better, but not by much. A small yawn escapes his lips.

"You tired, babe?"

"Think so." Lance mutters.

"Then lets get into pajamas and turn on a movie."

"Okay."

They both get out of the bed and head over to their bags. Throwing off their jeans and t-shirts. Keith grabs a new shirt and slips its on, grabbing his laptop from the bag as well. He heads back to the bed and waits for Lance.

Sure he'd get hot in the middle of the night with his shirt on but he didnt need Camilla to think something happened.

Lance slips into a shirt as well and gets back in bed. Looking through Netflix with Keith.

Keith pulls Lance as close as possible and plays with his hair, both of them deciding on Breakfast Club since Keith liked it so much the last time they watched it.

Lance yawns and hums, eyes fluttering as the intro of the movie begins to play. He still could feel the hold of dysohoria, but it had began to weaken.

"Goodnight baby." Keith whispers.

"G'night cariño I love you."

"I love you too." Keith smiles.

They both end up falling asleep way before the middle of the movie. Keith waking up in the middle of the night to move the laptop off the bed so he can spoon Lance.

Face buried in the back of his neck and an arm thrown lazily around his waist. Lance presses back and hums, enjoying the close proximity. Keith was warm and nice and Lance loved it.   
  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, Lance's dad still dislikes the idea of Lance being- well being Lance. He refuses to call Lance as his name and pronouns. Still referring to Lance as Lana, she/her, daughter. Well, this triggers his dysphoria that had been spiking up last chapter during his shower. He keeps quiet as his dad is calling him these things and sliding out slurs with each thing.   
> There's one funny scene during all of that and it's when Veronica asks if Lance and Keith had sex yet. Obviously Camilla slaps her upside the head but then it takes a turn because of Lance's father.   
> Keith keeps his mouth shut this time, after defending Lance, he still couldn't change this guys mind.   
> Well, this brings us to the panic attack. Lance begins to talk to Keith, dysphoria warping his thoughts so he says what is being pushed into his mind by it. Saying he'll never look masculine enough, etc. His panic attack becomes sorta like mine do, I dont get to the verge of passing out, but I do occasionally feel like vomiting. I know its possible to do these things simply because I've gotten to the point of lightheadedness where I thought I would pass out. I also get very angry during my panic attacks, but I'm not gonna put that there. So Lance gets extremely upset, vomits on the floor on accident and runs to the bathroom. He vomits again and passes out after hyperventilating.   
> Keith picks the lock and well,,, y'all know the rest.


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi this is another chapter that I'll be putting a trigger warning on. 
> 
> Keith has an attack, homophobic language and use of incorrect pronouns and dead name.

Lance's morning was hectic. He was searching through his luggage to find something nice all while his mother was nagging him to help downstairs.

"I gotta get dressed mamá!" Lance shouts, grumbling to himself afterwards.

"Hey.." Keith whispers, rubbing at Lance's bare back.

"Jesus fuck your hands are cold- grab my binder?"

"Already have it." Keith smiles, handing Lance his binder.

"Thanks, you're the best." Lance smiles, standing up straight. He slips into his binder and then continues looking through his clothes.

He finally finds his dark blue button up and a pair of black pants to go with it. He slips into them and then heads downstairs.

"What do you need help with mamá?"

"Set the table will you?"

Lance sighs, adding the extra chair to the table. He then goes around placing plates, glasses, and sliverware.

"Anything else?"

"No, go spend time with Keith. Oh, and your snake needs to be fed. Luis has been doing it but since you're back this week you can."

Lance sighs, padding into the kitchen. He grabs a frozen rattie and holds it by the tail. He heads upstairs and allows the rat to unthaw.

"The hell is that?"

"It's for Blue." Lance sits on his bed, sighing.

"You okay?"

"Just drained." Lance mutters.

"Im sorry honey." Keith presses a soft kiss to Lance's jaw.

"Mm if you're trying to start something you better stop mamá could walk in at anytime and she doesn't knock."

"Not tryna start anythin' babe just tryin' to take your mind off the impending doom of your abuelita." Keith chuckles, butterfly kisses down Lance's neck and to the collar of his shirt.

Lance keens, bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

"C'mon- you can't- _haah~_ you can't do that- my hormones are fucking everywhere." Lance pants, fingers digging into the sheets.

"Oh really?" Keith whispers, hot and heavy near Lance's ear.

"We can't- Keith I need to feed Blue.." Lance whines as Keith pops the buttons of his shirt open with his teeth.

"Keith!" Lance yelps, shoving against him.

Keith suddenly realises what he's doing and slinks off of Lance. Rubbing at his face.

"Jesus... Fuckin- I'm sorry, Lance. I didnt mean to. I just- ugh I dont know what's wrong with me." Keith sighs.

"Its okay babe. Just- not at my mamá's." Lance mutters.

"Im sorry." Keith mumbles again.

Lance stands up and buttons his shirt back up. Rolling his sleeves up he goes and prepares the shower with towels for Blue. Placing the rattie to the side he then goes back to grab Blue.

"Hey beautiful, you hungry?" Lance coos, opening the habitat. He picks Blue up and carries him to the bathroom, placing him on the towels in the shower.

Keith sits there, thinking about how he's fucked up. So many thoughts fill his head and his wrists begin to itch. Skin feeling as if something was crawling inside of it. He felt like there was too much blood inside of his veins and he couldn't do shit about it.

Keith shudders and tugs at his hair. He couldn't do this, not now. He stands on shaky legs and feels like he's watching himself from a tv.

Stumbling to his bag, he falls onto his knees and searches for his meds. Hands shaking wildly as he picks up the bottle.

"Keith?" Lance asks.

Its all muted and distorted like Keith is underwater. He felt like he was drowning. He fails to open the bottle multiple times and growls in frustration.

"Hey- hey." Keith whimpers when he feels Lance's arms wrap around him. Shaking horribly against Lance.

"Shh you're okay Keith." Lance whispers, pressing soft kisses to his head every now and then.

Keith looks down at his wrists and sees all the scars but they aren't scars anymore they're busted open and blood is pouring out.

Keith lets out a mortified scream and presses his hand to them, pushing down so the blood would stop flowing.

"Lance?!" His mom asks, eyes wide.

"We're okay mamá! Just get out!" Lance shouts.

"Keith- baby, I need you to breathe." Lance whispers, panic was setting in and he didn't know why Keith was pushing at his wrists.

So he grabs Keith's hands and then rubs soothing circles with his thumb along the scars.

Keith hisses and tries pulling away, growling when he can't.

"It hurts!" He croaks, tears evident in his voice.

"Keith what's wrong? Baby you gotta talk to me.." Lance whispers.

"I'm bleeding!" Keith rasps, frantic to get his hand back on his arm.

"What? Baby- you're fine. Keith- Keith look at me."

When Keith looks at him his heart shatters. Keith looked so scared, his eyes were wide and red with tears. Lance had never seen Keith this upset.

"Please Lance! You cant- you can't tell Shiro- he'll- he'll send me back and they'll- they'll put me on meds again I cant!" Keith sobs.

"Keith breathe with me. C'mon, you can breathe." Lance whispers, breathing in to show Keith.

Keith takes in a shaky one and holds it, breathing out.

"Good- good job babe, again.." Lance breathes with Keith, whispering in between.

It takes an hour to completely calm Keith down but he finally does.

"You were trying to take your medicine?" Lance asks.

"Thought that it would help." Keith mutters, he was exhausted but Lance's grandmother would be there any moment.

"You thought you were bleeding too?"

"Its fine- don't dig too deep into it." Keith mutters, head resting on Lance's shoulder. Eyelids falling shut.

"Hey, is he okay?" Marco asks.

"He- he freaked out. Wont tell me why, but I think he's okay." Lance whispers.

The front door opens and Lance stiffens. Abuelita was home.

"Camilla did you finally get that girl some braces? Where is she anyways?" Those are the first words she spoke.

"Keith, hey. Wake up." Lance whispers, shaking him.

"Mm I'm up." Keith mutters rubbing at his bloodshot eyes.

"Actually Lana-"

"I think... Lana would like to do that..herself." Marco mutters, feeling horrible for calling Lance by that name.

"What about her?"

Lance stands up and chews at his cheek, turning around to face his grandmother.

"Abuela- I- I'm not- I'm not a girl.." Lance whispers.

"What- What did she do? Camilla what did you let her do?! You're going to hell Lana what's next you're gay? You have a girlfriend? Why would you do that to your voice- and your body! You- you don't even look like yourself!"

"The thing is abuela I _do_ look like myself. I'm not going to hell and I'm not gay. I like both men and women. Right now I, Lance McClain am in a relationship with an amazing boy. And you- you can't do shit about it because this is who I am abuela, you can't change me." Lance felt a sudden spike of bravery and he wanted to rub this in his grandmother's face.

"Keith stand up."

Keith raises an eyebrow, standing up anyways.

Lance grins and pulls Keith close, pushing his lips to Keith's. Keith's eyes widen but he melts into it nonetheless.

"Wanna get outta here?" Lance whispers.

"Sure." Keith chuckles.

"We're gonna ditch on dinner and go on a date, see ya later mamá." Lance chuckles,pulling Keith to the door.

They slip their shoes and jackets on and head out. Walking down the streets of Lance's hometown.

"Well that was something." Keith laughs.

"I just- I got brave all the sudden y'know? I just wanted rub it in her face that I can love someone of the same gender." Lance smiles kissing Keith's cheek.

"I can't wait to go back home." Keith sighs.

"Why?"

"I actually- I miss Shiro and Pidge. This is the longest I've ever been away from home and its just- it's weird."

"We leave in a couple days can you survive til then?"

"As long as your grandma doesn't try to kill me." Keith laughs.

"If anything she'll kill me." Lance snorts.   
  
  
  
  
  
  



	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there's talks of a suicide attempt

"Wanna go to this amazing diner we've got here?" Lance asks, hand squeezed tight in Keith's.

After leaving Lance's house they had been walking for a bit, Lance showing Keith around his hometown.

"Sure, didn't get to eat much."

"Sorry. Dinner is- dinner is always hectic with them."

"Yeah, I'll bet." Keith laughs.

"Hey- can- can you believe we're graduating soon?"

"Yeah, its pretty crazy huh?"

"What- where are you going for college? Are- are you gonna leave Arizona?" Lance asks, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.

"I-Im not sure. I haven't really put much thought into this. I never thought- I never thought I'd be alive this long, Lance. Before- before we met I-I had planned to- Lance I had tried to kill myself so I wasn't such a burden on Shiro. I fucked his life up, he- he could've been happy and married- for- for fuck sake he could've gone to college." Keith's voice trembles as he speaks, stuttering and stumbling over his words.

Lance's eyes widen, hand shaking in Keith's.

"You-you were- K-Keith..."

"Don't! Don't- I don't need pity." Keith whispers, pausing before he speaks up again.

"I was- Lance I took my pills, all of them. S-Shiro found me- he found me in-in the bathroom with- fucking hell... He fucking found me drowning in my own- I was fucking foaming at the mouth and I had blood- just- that's what- thats what those two big jagged scars are... Lance- I shattered the mirror in the bathroom- I fucking- I slit my wrists and took my pills because I couldn't stand to- couldn't- I fucking couldn't ruin Shiro's life anymore." Keith was holding back tears and that was obvious. He had looked down and his hair had fallen over his eyes.

He bites on his own tongue, tears just threatening to spill. Even Pidge didn't know this. His own best friend.

"They- they almost didnt make it. I- I stopped breathing Lance. They did cpr and pumped my stomach and sewed me up and everything. Death was- Lance it was so quiet. There- there isn't anything- it's cold-it's-it's-it's-"

"Shh. Shut up. Stop- stop fucking talking." Lance whimpers, taking Keith into his hold. He had started crying as soon as Keith had said he tried to kill himself.

"Please... Let me talk to you about this- Pidge doesn't even know. I- I freaked out so bad back there because I thought- I thought I did it again. I thought I fucking slit them- there- I could see the blood I could feel it. Lance I wake up in a cold sweat and checking my arms and meds because of it."

Lance holds him tighter, shushing him. Running his fingers through his hair.

"But- Lance, you- you've given me some hope that- that the world isn't so- so fucked. You've shown me that I can be loved and not be a burden on someone. You've showed me life isn't just- that relationships don't just have to be relentless sex and taking from the other party. You- you showed me that I- that I am a good person. That- that I shouldn't just give up hope because of something small. You've fought through hell and look- look at where you are. Youre so strong and that makes me want to- to be a better person and be strong. You- you are amazing Lance."

"Dont- dont fucking say that." Lance whispers, tears streaming down his cheeks. This all sounded like some fucked up marriage proposal.

"I love you Lance- You are _my Blue._ "

"And you're my red." Lance whispers.   
  


After sitting on the sidewalk crying for 20 minutes they had made their way back to Lance's house, dismissing the idea of the diner.

"Lance! Mijo- I thought- I thought something happened! Are you alright?" Camilla was worried, she had cupped Lance's face and was frantically searching for any blemishes.

"Yes mamá, I'm fine." Lance sighs, pulling away from her hands.

"I wouldn't have let anything happen to him, Camilla." Keith smiles.

"You two look like shit." Veronica snickers.

"We cried." Lance huffs

"He doesn't look like a crier." Veronica chuckles, an eyebrow raised suggestively.

"Veronica!" Camilla shouts, going to take off her chancla.

"SHIT." Veronica screeches, running towards the stairs.

"Veronica! Get back down here!"

"No way! You'll beat me with your chancla!" Veronica shouts.

Camilla sighs and puts her slipper back on, smiling at Keith and Lance.

"I'm glad you two are alright." She pulls the two boys in for a hug and presses kisses to each of their heads.

"It was pretty emotional mamá I think I need some of your cookies you make." Lance kicks Keith slightly.

"O-oh uh yea- e-emotional." Keith tries not to laugh.

"You could just ask for cookies mijos." She tuts, releasing them from her hug.

"Thanks mamá." Lance smiles.

"Don't be misbehaved like your sister. Just go lay down, yeah?"

"Alright, thank you." Keith smiles.

"Its my pleasure." Camilla smiles, waving them off as she heads into the kitchen.

Lance pulls Keith upstairs and Marco stops them.

"You two better not go do what I think you're going to."

"We arent Marco! Jeez- can't we just cuddle and wait for mamá to bring us cookies." Lance huffs.

"Mamá is making cookies?"

"Yes, are you dull?"

"Rude!" Marco whines.

"Pfft whatever go spend time with Calliope, she looks terrified. Abuela is pinching her cheeks." Lance snorts, tugging Keith up the stairs.

Keith hums when Lance lets go of his arm, taking a seat on the bed. Lance closes the door, leaving it cracked ever so slightly. He could smell the faint scent of cookies and...what else was there?

"Hey, Keith?"

"Hmm?"

"Does it smell like- it smells like weed." Lance whispers.

"Uhh, okay?" Keith raises an eyebrow.

"Did- did you bring weed to my mamá's?!"

"No! Lance- I haven't smoked since that night. Plus my clothes would reek of it if it were in my bag."

"I guess you're right." Lance mutters.

"Maybe its Veronica or Luis?"

"Probably Luis." Lance mutters, closing his door the rest of the way, he pauses and speaks again.

"Mamá said she'd kill him if he did that again." He sighs.

"Well thats his problem, not ours babe." Keith mutters, laying back. He lets out a long breath.

Lance sits himself on Keith's thighs and Keith immediately tenses.

"Le-lets not." Keith whispers, fingers itching to touch Lance.

"Please-just a little?"

"Lance your mom could come up here anytime and I don't- I don't wanna do that here plus we don't- we don't have any condoms." Keith whispers, careful to not be heard.

"Who said anything about sex?"

"Lance please dont get me riled up." Keith whines, voice trailing off.

"Fine, but when we get home-"

"When we get home I'm going to take you on a nice little date and we're going to have quality time and I'm gonna show you how truly amazing you are." Keith whispers, pushing Lance off his thighs when he hears the floor boards squeak on the stairs.

"Here you two are." Camilla smiles, handing the plate of cookies to Lance.

"Thanks mamá."

"Bring it down when youre done." She smiles, closing the door on her way out.

Keith and Lance eat until their stomachs hurt, watching videos on Keith's phone until they pass out.

Camilla comes up and takes their plate, tucking the two of them and turning out the light. She hasn't known Keith long but she loves him as her own.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late, I've had horrible writers block and I went on a small hiatus. Mental health isn't too good rn.

When they got back Lance and Keith both went to their own houses. Lance, bored out of his mind, sleeps. Keith talks to Shiro and Adam about college.

"So, you want to go to college?" Shiro asks, hopeful eyes.

"Yeah- its just, I never thought- I'd be alive, y'know?" Keith mutters, staring down at his feet.

"Keith, don't be ashamed of that." Adam sighs, wrapping his arms around Keith.

Shiro chews on the inside of his cheek and wraps his arms around Keith. Holding back tears as he remembers the sight of Keith in a puddle of his own blood and vomit.

"I'm sorry, Shiro." Keith's voice shakes and then his body does. Pushing completely to Shiro as he breaks into tears.

"I'm sorry!" Keith wails, this was worse than the last time Keith apologised for it.

"Shh- Keith, its okay.." Shiro whispers, letting out a few tears of his own.

"I- I fucked your life up! You- you could've gone to college- you could've g-got married- yo-you could've had so many things, but then this fuck up get dropped on your doorstep.. I'm sorry!" Keith sobs, the only thing grounding him was the steady squeeze of Shiro's hand on his shoulder.

"You're not a fuck up, Keith. I volunteered to take you, y'know. You weren't just dropped off on my doorstep, I wanted you Keith. I didn't want you to be put in the system, you're my brother." Shiro laughs through his tears, hugging Keith tightly. Keith hiccups and sobs. He was truly an ugly crier. 

"So, where you wanting to go?" Shiro asks a week later.

"Oh- uhh, I've been thinking about the art school in Florida. Lance is planning to go to college down there so I thought I'd move down there so we dont have to do long distance."

"Are you sure you're ready to move away from home?" Shiro asks.

"I- I wanna try it. I'll come visit, of course. I wouldn't ditch ya." Keith smiles.

"Better not."

"So, I think I'm gonna start putting together a portfolio so I can send it off to one of them."

"Sounds good. Got a muse?" Shiro teases.

"Shut up. Course I do."

"Cute." 

Weeks fly by and Keith is mailing his portfolio off. Anxiety pooling in his stomach. Lance didn't know he was planning to go to an art school. He wanted to make it a surprise. Well, if he got in.

"Keith, I'm bored." Lance whines, laying on his back. Legs dangling off Keith's bed.

"Do something." Keith laughs.

"There's nothing to do though."

"I could name about 10 things."

"Bet you could."

"We could watch a movie, cook, go on a walk, get coffee, go see a movie. Hmm, we could go to a park, a dog park, we could go to the shelter and look at the pups. Ive been planning to adopt, Shiro said I could. It'd be a support dog though." Keith shrugs.

"Dogs?"

"Wanna go see some?"

"Hell yeah." Lance grins.

They head to the animal shelter and ask if they can see the dogs. Led into the back, Lance races around. Keith smiles fondly, looking at the dogs.

Ranging from color, breed, hair length. He spots a husky and grins. Padding over to it, he smiles. It was a small pup.

Keith looks at the tag on the cage, Kosmos. Sure fit the dog. He looked blue almost. The pup sniffs at Keith, wagging its tail wildly.

"Oh my God- you have to call Shiro." Lance gasps.

"What, you think he's cute?"

"Uhh- duh!"

Keith laughs, pulling out his phone. He shoots a quick picture to Shiro and gets an immediate response.

>>> _Shiro_ _> >>_

 **K:** img.attached

 **S:** im on my way

Keith laughs, pocketing his phone.

"Hey, Kosmos. You wanna come home with us?" Keith coos, soft and high.

Kosmos tilts his head to the side, panting.

"You're so cute." Lance smiles.

"Thanks babe." Keith snickers.

"Im talking to Kosmos." Lance huffs.

"Awe."

A couple hours later they have Kosmos at Shiro's. He's passed out on his little bed, stomach fat with food. Keith hums, scratching at Kosmos ears.

"We should lay down, its late y'know?" Lance hums.

"Mkay, meet me in there?" Keith asks.

"Yeah." Lance smiles, padding to Keith's bedroom.

Keith presses a kiss to Kosmos head and heads to his room. He nearly chokes upon seeing Lance laid out on the bed. One of Keith's hoodies down to his thighs.

"Hey." Lance smiles.

"Hi." Keith whispers.

"Flustered~" Lance teases, chuckling.

"Shut up."

"You're acting like you haven't seen more of me." Lance laughs.

"I can't help that you're amazing." Keith mutters, stripping from his shirt and jeans.

Lance hums, eyes trailing up Keith's body.

"You should lay down."

"Can I get dressed first?"

"Mm you look fine to me." Lance snorts.

Keith rolls his eyes, turning around. He pads to the bed and lays next to Lance. Lance sits up and straddles Keith's thighs.

Keith hums, running his hands down from Lance's hips to his thighs. A noise in his throat as he realizes the soft thigh highs tight around Lance's thighs.

"Hmm?" Lance hums.

"Thigh highs?"

"Soft, huh?"

"Y-yeah."

Lance's sex drive was out of whack again. Completely fucked up from the testosterone.

"Can I kiss you?" Lance asks.

"Yeah 'course you can." Keith whispers.

Lance leans down, capturing Keith's lips. Tongue sliding over the bottom one. Hands tangling into his hair.

Keith groans, opening his mouth to allow Lance's tongue to slide inside. His fingers slip under the bands of the thigh highs. Snapping them against Lance's thighs.

"We should just watch a movie." Keith mutters against Lance's lips.

"Mmph- why?" Lance pouts, pulling away.

"Well, for one, Shiro is in the other room and we don't have protection."

"You're right. Fuck- sorry."

"Its okay, I understand how frustrated you feel. You're literally going through a second puberty, you're feeling a bunch of built up hormones."

"I fucking hate it. You're just- urgh- you're so good, Keith." Lance huffs.

Keith smiles and presses a small kiss to Lance's lips.

"C'mon, we can watch a nice movie and fall asleep together."

"Mkay, sounds good." Lance hums, slipping off of Keith's lap. He curls up under the blanket and cuddles him.

"I love you." Keith whispers.

"I love you too, babe." Lance smiles.   
  



	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm me bringing back a certain silver haired guy?? Yes. Bc I love angst and any issue I can think of uwu. 
> 
> Also this book will end next chapter but start up again with a series called Blue. It'll be about their life in college and I'll probably only make it 5 chapters

Lance wakes up to Kosmos licking at his face and Keith nowhere to be found. He grunts and smiles, pushing the hyperactive puppy away from his face.

"Kosmos, calm down." He giggles, petting him lightly as he gets up.

He finds a pair of Keith's sweatpants and slips into them. They were a bit big, but he couldn't walk around without pants on. Heading out of Keith's bedroom, he hears humming.

Smiling when he realizes its Keith. He pads into the kitchen where the humming is coming from. He wraps his arms around Keith's waist and kisses the nape of his neck.

"Mm hey." Keith mutters, focused on making sure the eggs in the skillet don't burn.

"Morning." Lance smiles.

"Wanna apply to colleges with me today?" Keith mutters.

"You're going?"

"Mhm, think I'm gonna go for art."

"Oh really? I didnt know you draw."

"I did for a while, haven't drawn in years." Keith hums.

"Why not?"

"Not happy with any of it."

"How do you know if you haven't drawn in years."

"Dunno, just feel like I wont be happy with it." Keith shrugs.

"Maybe you should try? C'mon I'll be your muse. Your Rose to my Jack? Is that how it goes? Your Rose to your Jack? I dunno."

"Paint me like one of your French girls, Jack." Keith says dramatically and high pitched.

Lance snorts, letting Keith go so he can put the eggs on plates. They eat in silence for some reason. Just the disgusting sound of chewing and forks scraping against plates.

"So,, what art school are you gonna go to? There's a lot down in Florida.." Lance says, thinking it's subtle.

"Uh- not sure yet." Keith mutters.

"Oh."

"Do you want me to go to Florida?"

"No! Yes? I-I don't know.. I don't want you to uproot your whole life for me."

"It's not uprooting my whole life. Lance, I've moved around a lot. Especially before Shiro." Keith shrugs.

"So you want to go..?"

"I'd love to." Keith smiles.

"Really?"

"Yes. It was gonna be a surprise, but you ruined it." Keith huffs.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"You wanna like- go out and do something?"

"Hmm like what, babe?" Keith smiles.

"I dunno- just something. We could take Kosmos out?"

"Yeah, sounds good. We should get dressed though."

"Mhm."

  
Everything felt perfect. Lance sat on a bench at the dog park watching Keith wrestle with Kosmos. A fond smile on his lips, all of his love for Keith showing.

"Shit- ow! Kosmos!" Keith laughs, swatting at the dogs mouth playfully.

"He nip you?"

"He more than nipped me! Little ass!" Keith laughs as he lays on the grass. Kosmos taking the opportunity to pummel him.

Lance laughs, standing up to walk over. Kosmos takes note of the motion and stands up from attacking Keith's face with slobbery kisses. Tilting his head, he looks at Lance before running full force at him.

Lance's eyes widen and he lets out a mortified yell as Kosmos tackles him. Licking at his face and neck. Basically, Kosmos covers his face in slobber.

"K-Kos-Kosmos!" Lance finally gets out, shoving him off.

"Awe, you ruined his fun." Keith snickers.

"I like when you kiss my face, but not slobbery dogs." Lance huffs.

"Awe~ you want me to kiss you?" Keith asks, heading over to the brunette laid out against the grass.

"Never said that."

"You implied it though, kitten."

"Mierda- you always bring that name up at the worst times." Lance mutters.

"You dont like it?"

"Quite the fuckin' opposite."

"Mm wanna go back to mine then?"

"No- just- I wanna spend time with you, y'know? Like- not making out or nearly having sex. I wanna have fun- go on dates. I know we do a lot, but I wanna be with you today. I just feel- clingy? I dunno- I'm stupid."

Keith cups Lance's face, looking him in the eyes.

"You're not stupid for wanting to be with me. You're not stupid for wanting to do something else for a change. We'll go out, okay? Wanna go skating? We can take Kosmos back home and we can go out."

"Mkay."

"I love you so much more than you can imagine." Keith smiles.

"I love you too, cariño." Lance smiles as well, leaning in to kiss Keith.

It wasnt one of those heated, 'I wanna suck your face off' types of kisses. It was a 'I love you so much I could die'. It was full of love and fondness. So soft and pure.

Kosmos ruined it by licking a stripe up both of their faces. Both of them pulling away laughing.

  
They go skating a while later, walking around the park some more before they leave to take Kosmos back. Lance was extremely happy, nothing could ruin his mood in that moment.

Until something did. Freezing, he notices long silver hair. His heart racing as they pass. He looks from the corner of his eye as they pass to see if it was who he thought it is.

"Hey, you okay?" Keith asks.

"Yeah- just thought- nothing.. Nevermind."

"Okay."

  
It couldn't be a coincidence. He spies that silver hair at the roller skating rink as well. Swallowing down the anxiety, he turns to Keith.

"Keith- I know this sounds stupid but- I think L-Lotor is here.." Lance mutters.

"What?"

Lance could practically feel the anger rolling off of Keith. His head snapping around to look for the silver haired male. Eyes searching each and every person before they land upon blue violet eyes and a disgusting grin.

Keith wanted to walk over there, but those damn skates. Lance picks up on what he's thinking and shakes his head.

"No- I'm not letting you risk that.. C'mon we can just go to mine and cuddle on the couch- watch Coraline."

"Fuckin- Lance I wont let him ruin your damn life anymore. Its bullshit!" Keith growls.

"If you go over there I will personally kick your ass." Lance growls back.

"Fine. Whatever. Just- c'mon.."

Keith keeps a protective arm around Lance. Looking over his shoulder every so often. Making sure they arent followed as they take their skates off and return them.

They head out and Lance is shaking like a leaf. Clinging to Keith as they walk to Lance's.

"Hey, I won't let him hurt you again." Keith whispers, kissing Lance's cheek.

"I know, but- what if he hurts you?"

"He won't."

"You can't assure that."

"The hell I can." Keith laughs.

"Just- dont do something stupid." Lance mutters.

"Can't promise." Keith hums, kissing Lance's forehead.

 


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. 
> 
> It feels so,,, amazing? that this is done. Surreal? I dont know.   
> Ive gained so much support with this book and I'm very surprised. I never thought I'd get this far with my writing. Theres so many amazing people that I've talked to in the comments of this here and on wattpad. I love you all very much and I can't wait to write 'Blue'. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for staying with me though the slow updates and whatnot. This truly has been a journey and I've come to terms with the confusion in my gender and I've been working toward getting a therapist because this book was very eye-opening and therapeutic for me to write. 
> 
> I hope you all continue to stick with me through Blue and any other books I continue to write. Once again, thank you so much. <3

A couple months had passed and that one time they saw Lotor multiplied. It was like he was taunting them. Teasing them.

Lance was paranoid. He'd either stay with Keith or make Keith stay with him. He was always on edge and he wasn't getting much sleep. Every little noise had him jumping awake.

"Lance, babe." Keith groans, holding Lance's waist.

"I heard something.."

"Its nothing. Bedroom door is locked as well as the front door. Go back to sleep." Keith moves one hand to play with Lance's hair.

Lance sighs, sitting there until Keith's breath evens out. Soft snores. He then slips from the bed and unlocks his door. Hands and legs shaking as he walks out of the room.

"You okay?" Calliope asks.

"Oh- hey." Lance breathes a sigh of relief.

"You seem paranoid." She mutters.

"I'm fine." Lance smiles, slipping back into his room. Locking the door after him, he lays back in bed and curls up to Keith.

He gets a fitful night of sleep like usual. Tossing and turning, waking in the middle of the night.

"Hey, Lance."

"Mm?" Lance groans, rolling over to face Keith.

"We gotta start packing today. We're heading to the apartment."

"Mm I don't wanna get up yet." Lance groans.

"Well Pidge and Matt wanna hang out with us before we leave. They wanna do their fucking ice cream thing." Keith laughs.

"Fine.." Lance whines, clambering out of the bed.

It takes them about an hour or two to get their things packed up. Lance meets Keith at his house and they head down to the ice cream parlor with Pidge and Matt.

"Keith, Lance are you gonna participate?" Pidge asks.

"Participate?"

"They're eating ice cream until they shit and puke their brains out." Keith snorts.

"Its fun! C'mon, join us Lance." Matt grins.

"Doubtful, but okay." Lance smiles.

"I guess I'll do it too." Keith sighs.

"Oh my god!" Pidge grins, hugging Keith.

"Yeah yeah." Keith laughs.

They're not even 15 minutes in and Keith feels like dying. He's gotten like 20 brainfreezes and he's not even done with his 5th flavor.

"You're weak babe." Lance snickers, moving on to his 10th.

Pidge and Matt are toe to toe on their 8th. Trying desperately to catch up with Lance.

Lance gags and coughs. Placing his hand over his mouth when he spots silver.

"I'm gonna throw up.." He mutters, nudging Keith out of the booth.

"Awe man! Laaaance!" Pidge whines.

Keith rushes after Lance and finds the stall hes in.

"Hey, you okay?" Keith asks.

"Lotor..  Fucking- hes ruining everything we do!" Lance sobs.

"Open the stall babe." Keith mutters.

"I dont understand his obsession with us, Keith." Lance hiccups as he unlocks and opens the stall door.

Keith pulls him into a tight hug, one arm around Lance's waist, the other cupping the back of his head.

"I know, baby. We just gotta keep pushing through the bullshit though. I'll protect you with everything in my body. I love you, Lance."

"I love you too, Keith.."

After Lance completely calms down they head back to the table. Pidge and Matt both have devious grins on their faces.

"The hell are you two smilin' about?"

"Oh nothing.." Pidge snickers.

"Uh huh.. Sure." Keith snorts, sitting down. Lance sits next to him and leans his head on Keith's shoulder.

"You seem a little exhausted, Lance." Matt snorts.

"Yea..?"

"What did you guys do in there for 20 minutes." Pidge implies something.

"I- what?" Keith sputters.

"You heard me Keithy. What were you two doing~" Pidge coos.

"Nothing?" Lance was confused.

"They thought we were- uhh- doing innapropriate things."

Lance's face heats up, the flush rising from his neck to the tips of his ears.

"We- no! What- we wouldn't- we never did that!" Lance sputters.

"You sure about that?" Matt snorts.

"At least not in public.." Keith mutters.

"Keith!" Lance's blush deepens, if possible.

"Oh hoh hoh?" Pidge grins.

"Oh my God- I'm gonna fucking walk home." Lance huffs, hiding his face in his hands.

"We gotta walk back soon anyways." Matt snorts

"Oh right." Pidge huffs.

"Maybe you shouldn't spend life ruining your stomach." Keith laughs.

"Nah, it's fun." Pidge smiles.

"I think we're gonna have to go sooner than planned." Matt mutters.

"Pfft- oh my god." Pidge snorts.

"Yep definitely." Matt whispers, his stomach gurgling. Just as soon as he says that both him and Pidge book it out of the ice cream shop.

Lance laughs, head resting on Keith's shoulder.

"Why do they do that to themselves?"

"They think its fun at the time." Keith shrugs.

"I guess. Do you mind if I spend the next hour with Marco and Calliope?"

"Not at all, you dont have to ask. You can just say you wanna spend time with them. C'mon, I'll walk you there." Keith smiles, gathering the trash up at the table.

"Mkay." Lance smiles back.

After dropping Lance off, he heads home. Deciding to spend time with Shiro and Adam before he leaves. It wasn't easy leaving home, but he needed to grow up sometime.

"Shiro, I'm back." Keith calls through the apartment.

"Just a minute!" Shiro calls back.

Keith makes a confused face and shrugs, taking a seat on the couch. Shiro and Adam come out of Shiro's room a couple minutes later. Shiro's face slightly flushed from,,,previous activities. Keith doesn't catch on.

"So what do you guys wanna do until I leave?"

"That's today?" Adam raises an eyebrow.

"Uh huh, we gotta get down to Florida. I think Lance wanted to drive so we didn't have to deal with planes and all that shit." Keith shrugs.

"Where are you guys even gonna be staying?" Shiro asks.

"Lance's mom offered to help us get a house down there, or at least an apartment."

"Are you sure they aren't gonna make you stay on campus? Or at least Lance since he's going to a public college. They make freshman stay usually, so you two might get split up. They might- they might put Lance in a dorm with a female due to his birth certificate." Shiro mutters, not sure how to get the last part out.

"And we know that, if it happens then it happens. I just hope if it does happen his dysphoria won't kick in terribly. I dont know what I'd do if he hurt himself or if he-" Keith chokes up, tears forming in his eyes. A lump in his throat.

"I never wanna lose him, Shiro." Keith sobs.

"Oh, Keith.." Shiro whispers, hugging him tightly.

"He clearly loves you too, don't think for a second that he's gonna leave you. You haven't seen the way he looks at you, the way his face lightens up when you tell him you love him."

Keith shakes in Shiro's arms, another sob.

"I don't know what to do, Shiro. I don't wanna get split up- it feels like- it feels like my heart is tearing in two when he isn't around me. I just- I love him so much, I love him to the point where my heart can't handle it. I don't want to lose him ever." Keith hiccups, clutching onto Shiro now.

"Keith, you need to calm down." Shiro mutters, rubbing Keith's back.

"I cant!" Keith cries.

  
After 30 minutes Keith has managed to calm down. His breathing had evened out, eyes drooped shut.

Adam gets up from the couch when someone knocks on the door. Shiro looking down at Keith with a smile.

"Who is it?" Shiro asks softly.

"Lance." Adam says back.

Adam and Lance head into the living room and Lance smiles.

"He asleep?"

"Yeah." Shiro snorts.

Keith makes a noise, eyes blinking open.

"Mm time to go already?" Keith mumbles, rubbing at his bleary eyes.

"We can wait a minute babe."

"Mkay.." Keith mutters, sitting up.

"You have everything packed?" Shiro asks.

"Mhm."

"Do you need anything?" Adam asks, clearly suggesting something.

"No." Keith huffs, cheeks flushed slightly.

"You be safe back in Florida, okay?" Shiro hugs Keith tightly.

"I will." Keith smiles, hugging back.

"God I feel like a mom watching her kid leave." Shiro laughs, tears filling his eyes.

"Shut up." Keith snorts.

"My baby brother- my baby bird." Shiro laughs harder.

"Youre actually the worst."

"You love me though."

"I guess." Keith sighs.

"Ill take it." Shiro snorts.

  
They wait 30 minutes. Just sitting there and talking until Keith and Lance really have to leave.

"I'll see you when break starts, Shiro. Adam dont break his heart." Keith snorts.

"I won't." Adam smiles.

"We'll miss you." Shiro mutters.

"Ill miss you too." Keith smiles.

They climb into their respective seats in Lance's car. The car ride was nice. A good way to see a lot of scenery.

When they made it they set everything up at the McClains. Lances room had been stripped of its old feminine 'glory' and was decorated with things from Marco's. College was gonna be a bumpy road for Keith and Lance. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my really one of my first times writing a trans au thing  
> Uhm I don't believe I'm trans myself? I've questioned my gender and stressed about it a lot and this is just a few things I've felt? I'm just very confused on my body and how I feel about it. I'm comfortable with it but sometimes I just get so upset with the way it looks in regards to my chest, my hips.  
> There's always room for improvement in this and it would be great if people could provide tips on how to write dysphoria and other things!


End file.
